“Know something else about the three French hens?” asked Chad.
“Enlighten me,” Merissa said.
“In Christian circles, they are symbolic of faith, hope, and love.” He moved in closer. “Are you ready to embrace that?”
“I have never lost my faith, so I’m good there.” Chad was so close she could smell the creamy cookie aroma escaping his lips.
“And hope?”
“I have lost hope in some areas but held steadfast in others. Christ is my hope, and He sustains me.”
“Mm… And love?” Chad asked. Merissa felt his gentle touch on her shoulders as he somehow shifted even closer. She could barely breathe.
“I love God because he first loved me.” Merissa heard her voice tremble.
“And if a man loved you first, could you find it in your heart to love him back?”
Merissa could not answer, nor could she disconnect from his piercing scrutiny. In his eyes she saw the desire to reach her. What would happen if she just let him in for a minute? She lost the ability to think, spellbound in his magnetic pull. When his lips touched hers she did not pull away but allowed him to search for answers. Time stood still. And then she remembered.
Merissa gasped and pulled back, tears pooling in her eyes. “Chad, I can’t do this.” Anger surfaced, not aimed toward the man in front of her, but directed to the nagging torment in her heart that would not relinquish its hold. “One thing I did not share with you is that this cruise – the one I’m spending with you – was to be my honeymoon, with Kyle.” She could not stop the flow of tears and pushed him back when he attempted to comfort her. “I came here to say a final goodbye to my dead fiancé, but I haven’t done it yet. And I doubt I shall ever find the courage.”
Merissa picked up her pool bag and jogged away. Chad did not follow but spent a long time by the rail praying for this woman he’d grown to care for.
Freedom Waves
At nine a.m., Merissa was finishing up a quiet breakfast alone in the dining room when the voice of the captain amplified into the public spaces around the ship.
“Good morning. If you are up, you will want to make your way to the port side or the stern of the ship.” Seated at the backside already, Merissa did not bother to move but took another sip of her coffee. “If you look closely, you will see flocks of blackbirds swirling the area. I need to tell you that this is not a common observance in this area. It’s my guess they are in the Christmas mood and are here to help us celebrate the fourth day of Christmas – a miracle those of us at the helm are declaring on this fine day at sea.”
Merissa leaned closer to the window and sure enough, a cloud of blackbirds filled the air, diving, and swirling – putting on quite a show. If the blackness of their bodies wasn’t such a match to the way she was feeling she would rejoice over such a display of nature. She wondered how the cruise line lured them over on this particular day, or could it be as the Captain said, a miracle sent to bless the passengers.
She continued to watch until the spectacle moved on. It was then she noticed the dining table décor. A white tablecloth, black linen serviettes, and four black – she supposed calling birds – cut from construction paper, positioned to appear as flying across the center of the setting, dipping between the glasses. Eight huge dark eyes seemed to stare at her and she squirmed in her seat. A strange thought entered her mind – that perhaps she’d dimmed the light inside her so much that her soul had become black as coal.
Merissa hurried to the Wi-Fi-zone in the computer room, sat next to a window, and logged onto the Internet with her cell phone. She’d do her own research today about what the birds symbolized, according to the ship theme song and its Christian interpretation. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – four calling birds – or the debaters claimed their proper name was colly birds, which dated back to the big black bird she’d just witnessed in the sky. Either way, their color was a forlorn death black, and that jolted her.
Further search led her to the answer she needed. Four calling birds symbolized the four gospels. Of course, the answers were in the Word – they always were – and Chad had even hinted at that in his letter. The life and ministry of Jesus – the light of the world – laid out in the first four books of the New Testament. Merissa brought up the Bible app and settled comfortably into the plush chair. She began to read Matthew and never stopped until she’d read straight through John. When she raised her eyes, she realized everyone had deserted the place, except one man in the far corner with his head half buried behind his computer. It was Chad, and if he’d noticed her earlier, he’d chosen not to interrupt. Merissa was grateful for his discretion. Few men would be so patient and understanding. Mixed emotions streaked and crisscrossed within her, like a lightning storm, but she knew she was not ready to face him.
Merissa’s tummy rumbled, and she glanced at the time on her cell phone. It was past one. The Word had been feeding her soul all morning but her stomach needed the kind the buffet offered. She stood and stretched. Dropping her phone in the handbag, Merissa headed for the
