— Adele Spunt, 42, Cook
Interesting, but not advisable as a family destination. The kids loved it when we saw our first Hero, flying alongside the monorail from the spaceport and waving at us, but it got awkward when he started mouthing the name of a fast-food chain and miming eating a burger. Big disappointment on the second day – when we saw the Ram Raider try to rob a bullion van we thought we were in for a real spectacle, but the pursuing Heroes just gave up as soon as they were outside their sponsor’s territory, and she got away with the gold. The food’s pap too, and the prices are sky high, so don’t expect many great meals out.
— Eugene Gruftoe, 28, Librarian
Fashion
While you risk getting sued for a life-ruining sum if you have the audacity to dress as an existing Hero (and bearing in mind costume redesigns, there are patents filed on thousands of outfits), the general Heroic aesthetic has permeated everyday fashion on Eroica to the extent that even the most buttoned-down professional will incorporate a cape or a pair of tall boots into their outfit. Try accenting a casual ensemble with a pair of light pauldrons to make it Heroic, or accessorise your evening attire with a gem-studded headpiece and a set of mighty gauntlets. At the end of the day, you have to find the look that’s right for you. There are clearly no IP restrictions on dressing as a Baddie,[14] but if you do so, prepare to accept that you’ve invited a maelstrom of comical yet painful mistaken-identity situations into your life.
Entertainment
Entertainment is a tricky subject in Eroica, as it’s hard for much to surpass the everyday life of the city in terms of thrills. Nearly every athletic pursuit conceivable has been rendered meaningless by the participation of Heroes, and sports without Heroes just seem boring here. Television is big, however, and still a recent enough innovation that people are amazed by it. Weekly high-budget documentaries about the recent activity of the Heroes command a huge audience who follow the regular spectacles[15] with the conviction of soap-opera addicts. Recently, advances in special effects have allowed for more fantastical programming, set in worlds where nobody has any powers at all. Called ‘normoes’ by their fans, these short dramas are seen as horror stories about what would happen to society if nobody was better than anyone else.
1. WELCOME TO SPUME
No destination has distilled the essence of high adventure quite like the nautical fantasy realm of Spume. With salt spray misting your face as you lean from the bowsprit of a galleon in full sail, it’s impossible not to feel a freedom as unconstrained as the endless waves. And indeed, there’s everything to play for here – just so long as you respect the Pirate’s Code.
Why Spume?
Sooner or later in any jaunt through the Worlds, you’ll hit water. And once you hit water, there’s every chance you’ll hit Spume. Because if you set sail from anywhere with the right sense of perfectly measured recklessness, these horizons will suck you in. Drive a boat like you’ve stolen it – or better yet, steal a boat – and you’ll end up here.[1] Nobody is sure why ‘theft, but wet’ is even a genre, let alone one so primal as to occupy this central space among the Worlds. Nevertheless, it is what it is, and Spume embodies it with breathtaking purity. An expanse of tropical archipelagos inhabited exclusively by Pirates, its deep, almost fastidious commitment to cliché has resulted in a destination that always hits the right notes.
It can take some getting used to. The contradiction between the recklessly egalitarian ideals of the buccaneering lifestyle and the Byzantine regulations of the Pirate’s Code, which keep it viable, can be jarring at first.[2] But stick with it long enough to learn the rules and you’ll discover a way of life that – within a number of sensible parameters at least – has no limits.
WHY MY HEART BELONGS TO SPUMEby Sid Tidy, ship’s cook aboard the Gilded Gurnard
What convinced me to stay in Spume weren’t the tropical weather, nor the gold: no, me hearty, it were the people. In me old job as a recruitment consultant, I were surrounded by complete bastards pretending to be reasonable people. Now, I be part of a crew o’ reasonable people who spend all day pretending to be complete bastards. Sure, ’tis not the easiest life, but every day brings surprises, and the shore leave be off the chain. Last week I went ashore for a few cold ones with the hearties, and ended up stealing a cannon off the Navy. Proper mental, we be. Mad lads. One word o’ warning, though: if ye come here, accept that ye may never go back. I still technically be on a stag weekend that started six years ago. I were going to go home, but Cap’n Beefshanks here needed a new cook, and I thought, Why not? Not sure what happened to the rest o’ the lads, now I comes to think of it. Mike be definitely a skeleton – he loves it – and I think Colin be a Captain now? That’s the thing about Spume – so long as ye be a good Pirate, ye
