"I think that's obvious. My brother has been sick for days and you just don't care. If he died tomorrow, you wouldn't care!"
I turned around. "You don't understand anything. I thought you were my friend!" I wiped the tears from my cheek and at the same moment, everyone poured outside. They crammed on the porch. Staring. Confused. Wondering. And someone would have to answer to them. Someone would have to explain.
Jane held her hands to her chest. "Girls," she scolded. "What's going on here?"
Ella was staring at me. She looked worried. I looked at Felix. And looking at him made me feel overwhelmed. As the answer pended, I looked back at the field. And with one step, I began to run. And I didn't plan on stopping. Which was unfortunate, due to the weather and the fact that I didn't have my hoodie jacket. My arms were freezing. My face. Even my toes. But it wasn't enough to make me turn around. I kept running, focusing on the deep pain in my chest. The wounds. That was my fuel to keep going.
"LeAnna, stop!" Felix was calling me, trailing behind me. I wasn't hard for him to catch up, he just wanted me to stop. He didn't want me hurt, or freezing, or sad. But nothing in the world could stop the tears that were dripping down my face.
In the course of a couple of weeks, I had made a mess of things. I had lied, kept secrets, hurt friends, and disappointed everyone. I wish there was a restart button. Something I could press that would wipe away the past and allow me to start again. But, since that was unrealistic, I would just have to settle with forgiveness.
Finally, making it to the comfort of my tree, I fell and scraped my forearm on something sharp within the grass.
I drew my arm up. There was no blood. Just slithered skin. I touched it. Then put my arm down.
That's when Felix dropped beside me and pulled me into his arms. His chest. Exhibiting his warm body.
"Anna, don't cry." His voice was gentle. Just a whisper. A soothing coo.
I pushed my face in his chest and hugged him. At that moment, I was safe. And I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to hold him and be held by him.
"What happened?"
"Don't ask," I cried.
Felix was sacrificial. Always thinking of me. He tore off his jacket, tired of my shivering, and pulled the warm sleeves around my back and over my shoulders. He was my blanket.
The crying continued. Now it was a mix of things. Not only was I crying from the argument with Sarah. I was crying about my mother, my father, and the fact that I was adopted and loved again. It was just all painfully pouring out at once. But it did settle. And when it did, I sat up, pulled my hair from my face, and gazed at Felix.
"Tell me now?"
"Sarah and I got in an argument."
"What about?"
"Ask her." I stood ready to end the conversation that had barely begun. "Let's go back. I – I feel better now." I can't say that I felt better within me – meaning my heart still felt troubled. But crying had its way of temporarily numbing.
The way home was silent. It hung in the air with the cold. But it wasn't necessarily a bad silence. Just two people with a lot on their minds.
Inside, we walked in on Jane and Sarah talking. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could guess it was about what had happened. I felt embarrassed. Ella had been standing by the window, but when she saw me, she came over.
"Sarah told us you girls had a disagreement."
I nodded.
"About school."
I looked up. "Y – Yes," I said weirdly. "About school."
"You two need to go outside and work it out. What do you say?"
"Yes ma'am," I mumbled. It wasn't preferred. I wasn't ready to work anything out. I just wanted to rest my mind and deal with my feelings the way that I always had. But I didn't want to disappoint Ella any more than I had.
So, we went out and sat across from each other on the rocking chairs. I wondered if she was still mad. She probably was wondering the same thing because fifteen minutes went by without either of us saying a word.
I decided to turn and speak. When I did, she did too. And at the same time, we apologized.
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's really my fault. I've just been so worried about my brother. But it's not your fault and I shouldn't have blamed you. Friends?"
"Friends."
We got up and hugged.
"About school!" I laughed.
"It's all I could think of."
We went back inside as friends again and most of the pain in my heart was gone. Most. But not all.
Chapter 27
The Fight
Ella had a recipe book open and Jane was pointing to something on the page. They took the book to the kitchen and I heard rattling. They were taking out pots and pans to cook. Which meant that the Blanks would be staying over for dinner.
Felix whispered. I gazed at the couch where he sat, and he patted the seat.
I walked over, sat, and leaned my head against his shoulder.
He took a strand of my hair and began to braid it.
"Feel better?"
"Yes."
He hugged my waist, playfully. Making me want to giggle. But I pulled away. Partly because Tom was watching. I knew, because I could see him in my side vision.
"Not now, Felix."
He moved his hands and laughed.
Just then, the front door opened letting in the breeze and Roger came inside with his big coat.
"I see we're having a get together. Was I invited?"
Ella came out from the kitchen when she heard his voice. "The Blanks are staying for dinner," she said.
He grabbed his hat from the peg and turned toward us. "Felix."
"Yes sir."
"Come on with me to
