Well, I guess it’s better to know where we stand than to be left in the dark. Right? Apparently, the request he made in the pool a couple weeks ago no longer appeals to him. With how I’ve seen girls shamelessly proposition him, I shouldn’t be surprised he’s lost interest.
Just wish I’d known sooner. For one, I wouldn’t have wasted my time shaving this morning. You know, on the off chance that things did go further than planned this weekend.
But no chance of that happening now, and I can’t afford to care. West is nothing to me and I’m nothing to him.
Obviously.
Lucky for me, when we loaded the bus, I didn’t get stuck sitting by anyone I hate, but rather someone I don’t know very well.
So far, Joss hasn’t said one word to me, and I need something to distract me from glancing back at West every three seconds. So, I decide it’s on me to break the ice between her and me.
“Excited about the game?” I ask when nothing else comes to mind. Guess I could’ve mentioned the weather, but it’s cold and cloudy. Not much else to say about it.
She lowers the book she holds, smiling a little, which makes me feel less guilty about interrupting her.
“I am,” she answers. “You?”
I shrug, realizing that I was excited, before seeing that West has flipped the switch on me once again.
“Sort of. It’s kind of nice to be getting away from home.”
Not only is the school paying for my room, but Scar is safe, too. She’ll be with Jules the first night, and with Uncle Dusty the next.
“You play basketball, don’t you?”
I wasn’t expecting Joss to ask anything about me, because I didn’t realize she knew anything about me.
“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “They just made the final cut this past Monday.”
She nods. “That’s pretty cool. I’ve never been super athletic.”
“Dance requires quite a bit of athleticism, doesn’t it?”
Joss shrugs and actually closes her book.
“Sort of?” she answers with a laugh. “But I guess I’m referring to the whole hand/eye coordination thing. Dance is all about flexibility, strength, and good balance, but I couldn’t make a basket to save my life.”
I laugh a bit. This feels easy.
“I watch the guys out there on the field every week in awe,” she shares. “Dane goes into beast mode and it’s like watching art in motion. All the Goldens are like that, actually.”
She cleaned that up nicely, but I don’t miss that she mentioned Dane first. Nor did I miss the way she forced her expression to straighten after talking about him. It’s the sort of thing Jules would’ve called me out on, but Joss and I don’t know each other like that. So, I keep what I suspect to myself.
“Yeah, they’re really good,” is all I say back.
She eyes me with a smirk and I’m unsure what she’s thinking.
“So, it’s a little weird to have all those pics of you and West floating around on the net and yet, here you are, sitting with me instead of him.”
Apparently, she’s not as adverse to prying as I was a moment ago. I feel my face warm, which likely means it’s red, too.
“Well, I—”
There’s no real answer for that, so I pause. I showed up at the school today, expecting West to be at least a little warmer than usual, considering, but instead I got the cold shoulder.
“He’s just a bit hard to figure out,” I share with her, not feeling like I’ve said too much.
My statement draws a laugh from her. “Giving you whiplash, huh?” she asks, sounding like she knows a thing or two about that.
“That’s one way of putting it.”
She nods. “I will say this, though. Whatever the beef was between you two when you first got to Cypress Prep, West definitely seems far less hostile about it. Like, maybe he’s starting to soften up a bit.”
I suppose that would’ve come as a relief if I considered myself one of West’s groupies, but I’m not. What has me feeling weird is how he’s seemingly gone cold toward me again. No, he hasn’t been cruel, but having seen that there’s another side to him recently, I can admit to not being ready to let that go.
I enjoy that side of him.
I want that side of him.
It felt like things were changing between us—I mean, really changing—and now this.
“You two should just talk,” Joss suggests. I’m not even sure she realizes how complicated something as simple as a conversation can be for West and me.
“Easier said than done,” I admit.
“Tell you what. Trip and Austin are having everyone over to their room tonight. You should drop in and just, you know, pull West aside,” she suggests. “Despite what he has you thinking, he’s not a total d-bag. Actually, he’s a closeted sweetheart,” she says with a laugh. “You just have to get to know him.”
I nearly laugh out loud. No way West Golden is a sweetheart. Not even on his best day.
“I’ll think about it,” is all I say, but I’ve already made up my mind.
I’m staying as far away from him as possible. I’ve already given him too much slack, too much access to my thoughts, my body, and my heart. I’m sick of being made to feel like a fool, but that’s exactly how I feel every time I fall for West’s games. If this cycle we keep repeating is ever going to end, it’s up to me to end it.
So, that’s what I’ll do. Right here. Right now.
Whatever West and I were on the verge of becoming, it’s officially dead.
Completely.
@QweenPandora: Guess what team is one step closer to State Finals, lovelies! Our boys have looked good out on the field all season, and call me optimistic, but
