If his goal has been to make me feel iced out, mission accomplished.
Was it ever even real, though? What I thought he’d begun to feel? Or is he just like all the other guys—horny and heartless?
I’m a little embarrassed I’m even asking myself these questions. Of course, he’s like the rest. Actually, he’s worse.
The walk to his door is a relatively short one. Just a trip down the hall and around the corner from Trip’s room. But the spaces between these are notably bigger. Doesn’t take long to realize the difference is that the rooms down this hallway are suites. Already frustrated, this discovery only adds to my disgust with this guy.
Couldn’t even slum it in a regular room like the rest of us for one weekend?
My hand lingers in the air, and then I just do it. I knock. Then, I fix my clothes, because despite every ugly thing he’s done, and every terrible thing he’s said, I still care what he thinks of me.
Damn him.
I hear his heavy steps padding toward the door, and then there’s a pause. I imagine that he’s looking through the peephole, realizing it’s me. For a moment, he seems to hesitate to turn the lock, but then he does, and despite thinking I was ready for this, it’s a completely different story as we stand face-to-face.
Chapter 38
BLUE
The room behind him is dark and he squints to adjust to the light from the hallway. He’s shirtless, his hair’s disheveled, and a pair of black sweats ride low on his hips. And, based on the unobstructed outline of his dick through the fabric, he’s not wearing anything underneath them.
Focus, stupid.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, but—”
“I wasn’t asleep.” His tone is deep and cold, confirming what I already believed.
The switch has flipped.
Again.
Heat spreads up my neck and face and I’m doing everything I can to control my temper. Because I want to slap that cocky look right off his face. That one that makes me wonder if he knew I’d show up at his door.
But I can’t worry about that right now. I need to get everything off my chest. Once and for all.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?” I ask.
He gives a nonchalant shrug. “I’m listening.”
How did I ever feel anything for this asshole?
At any rate, I’m here now. So, here goes.
“I have no idea what’s changed between us overnight, nor do I think it’s even worth discussing at this point, but for some stupid reason I need to say it,” I admit.
There’s fire blazing in his eyes when he stares and I’m so confused. It’s like I’ve slept through some offense I’ve committed against him. Because his hatred is so real, so raw.
Tangible.
He works his jaw and I swallow hard. He leans away from the doorframe and glances behind him, into his room.
“You can go now,” he says to someone I can’t yet see.
“What?” a feminine voice asks. “We’re nowhere near fin—"
“Go!” West yells, cutting the girl off midsentence. “Get the fuck out!”
My heart sinks, hearing that some other chick was here with him, but it shouldn’t even affect me. Still, I feel like running off, hiding in my room to keep him from seeing how ashamed I am for coming here, but I fear that’ll make me look even more pathetic. Like some lovesick weakling who can’t stand the thought of some guy who isn’t even hers being with some other girl.
I need West to think I don’t care. Need him to think this doesn’t hurt.
While, on the inside, I’m gutted.
Of all the girls it could’ve been, Parker comes into view, and before moving to the dresser to gather her things, she shoots me a dirty look. I imagine she’s equally wounded for having been dismissed when I showed up, but it’s not like that. I have no priority where West’s heart is concerned.
As far as I can tell, no one does.
She slips a t-shirt over her bra and refastens the button on her jeans. She has several items to gather, which leads me to believe the plan was for her to spend the night.
I have to look away, choosing to stare at my feet instead.
Another dagger to my chest. Another wound that’ll take forever to heal. As if I didn’t already have enough of those.
The corners of my eyes burn, and I hold my breath when Parker comes closer. She stops beside West and hatred flares across her face.
“You’re an idiot,” she hisses at him. “When shit blows up in your face, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
With that, she storms her way between us, slamming her shoulder against mine on her way out. She mumbles something scathing under her breath, but I don’t catch it. Then, West stands aside, silently inviting me into his space.
The space where he’d just been doing God-knows-what with Parker a moment ago.
Her perfume lingers in the air, making me secretly grateful when West opens the sliding door that leads to the balcony, letting in fresh air. Light from the city filters in, too, and my gaze shifts to the bed. It’s still made, but two distinct imprints show where West and Parker did … whatever they were doing before I showed up. Again, I force myself to look away, slowly dropping down into the chair where West’s black and gold jersey hangs over the back of it.
“You wanted to talk, so talk,” he sighs, resting against the edge of the round table in the corner.
First, I take a deep breath, and then just … unload on him. Because I’m full to the brim and if I can make him feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling, I’ll be satisfied.
“You are, by far, one of the shittiest human beings I’ve ever met.
