Testing my theory, I tried one last time. “I lost my meat clackers somewhere along the way in life. My new wooden pappy, Sponge Bob, says I should go out into the world and search for my hairy magical beans. I’m going to wear spandex and channel Mick Jagger while I hunt down my nards.”
“That’s nice,” Zach said with an absent nod of his head.
“Oh my Goddess! Did you hear a single word that came out of my mouth?” I demanded, squinting at him. He looked dumbstruck. Crap. Maybe he’d suffered brain damage from Henrietta Smith’s attack. Immediately, I felt horrible for yelling at him.
Zach inhaled shakily. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I need to tell you something, and I’m getting my courage up.”
That didn’t sound good. My stomach cramped, and I wanted to be anywhere else. He couldn’t have missed that I’d been wildly in love with him for ten years. It had been embarrassingly obvious. Zach didn’t feel the same way I did. That had been obvious, as well. I was fairly sure that he was about to let me down gently. Why hadn't I stayed in Sponge Bob’s trunk? The real world was filled with heartbreak and humiliation.
Fine. This would definitely give me the closure I needed. It was time to roll and find my stones. Plastering a smile on my lips that I prayed didn’t look as fake as it felt, I patted his back. “We’re friends,” I said. “You can tell me anything. That’s what friends are for.”
“But I don't want to be friends,” Zach blurted out as I gasped in complete shock and tripped over absolutely nothing. Before the pain of his words could overwhelm me, he added, “I mean, of course, I want to be your friend. Shit, I'm getting this all wrong.”
“Just say it. It's better if you make it quick.” I braced my heart. “Like ripping off a bandaid.” Although, I feared it would be more like ripping duct tape off a hairy leg. I was sure what he had to say to me was going to hurt like hell and would most certainly leave a mark.
“You're right,” Zach said, as he came to a jarring halt. “I’m in love with you, Willow.”
My knees buckled and I landed in a heap on the sidewalk. I stared at the ground and tried to figure out how to respond. How could Zach be so mean? If he was making fun of me and my feelings for him, it would be devastating. My emotions ran amuck inside me, and I was at a loss for words, unsure if I was about to laugh, scream or cry. I looked around to see if we had witnesses. I sighed in relief that Main Street was empty.
Zelda had already explained that the town had been glamoured to look like a total dump on the outside so humans wouldn’t want to stop. But inside the ramshackle structures, everything was pure enchantment. Shifters, witches and other magical beings lived very public but secret lives. A place like Assjacket was a perfect way to exist while hiding in plain sight.
Although, right now, I just wanted to hide out of plain sight.
“Wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for,” Zach said as he gently helped me to my feet and made sure I was fine.
Narrowing my eyes, I punched him in the stomach. Hard. Just like his abs. “That was mean and uncalled for,” I shouted.
Zach was wildly confused and completely unfazed by the punch. “It was?”
“Yes,” I said, stomping away and sitting down on a cement bench beneath the half-headed bear. “It wasn’t funny. I think you should apologize right now. Playing with other people is beneath you.”
Zach followed me over to the bench and squatted down until he was eye level with me. Having him so close was killing me. My insides roiled with so many emotions I had no clue what to feel.
“I’m not playing with you, Willow,” he said, staring so intensely into my eyes, I had to remind myself to breathe. “Until now, I had nothing to offer you. Nothing. The curse and the woman whose name I refuse to speak, tied me to a hell that I believed was permanent. I still don’t have much to offer, but I can’t hold back my feelings anymore. I don’t want to. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way anymore. I’ve probably killed anything you may have felt for me in the past. But I wanted you to know that I love you. I always have and always will.”
His words were what I’d longed to hear for a decade, but…
“I loved you for so long,” I whispered.
“Loved?” he questioned. “Past tense?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” I said. Zelda’s words rang in my head. You can’t love someone until you love yourself. Could Zach truly love me if he still hated himself? Would my heart end up broken beyond repair?
Zach sat down next to me and offered his hand. He held his breath and waited. His pain was so evident, and so was his intent. He'd made his confession, and now the choice was mine.
I made it with my heart not my head. Slowly, I placed my hand in his. Our connection sent a tingle up my arm, and my head wreath twinkled and glowed. Zach’s beautiful features relaxed as he closed his eyes for a moment.
“I despised myself,” he said softly. “Bringing you into my hell by telling you how I truly felt was something I could never do. It would have been a fate worse than death for you. The fact that you stayed humbled me and consumed me with guilt.”
“You knew I loved you?” I asked.
He nodded slowly. “It was the only thing that kept the agony at bay. It was incredibly selfish of me not to make both you
