Will had given me that once. But here in this room, it was contracting again. All I could find in myself was fear and anger and suspicion.
I didn’t want to suspect him. It felt like giving Rahel a victory, to let her hatred plant seeds of doubt in my heart. And yet something had caused her hatred. Will had, somehow.
I had to know. Even if it meant admitting my doubts. Even if it meant doing what Rahel certainly wanted me to do.
Valentin brought me a tray of food and examined the slowly melting mixture in the brazier.
“Is this how it is meant to look?” he asked.
I nodded, then examined my dinner with distaste. The tray contained several boiled eggs sliced and slathered with mustard, some sort of pickled cabbage, two pieces of rye bread, and a cup of tea.
“Somehow I do not imagine this is what Rahel had for dinner,” I said.
“Fräulein Rahel did not dine in this evening,” said Valentin. “I assure you the rest of us ate no better than you.”
The sour scent of the cabbage turned my already sour stomach. I had gone too long without eating, but for a moment I considered refusing the tray. Valentin heaved a sigh and leaned over me. He picked up a fork and scraped some of the cabbage onto the bread, then placed the slices of egg on top. He set the fork back down on my plate. I looked at it.
You could pick it up, said my mother’s voice. Stab him in the eye.
“Here,” he said. “It’s best like this.”
I looked from the fork to Valentin, pictured myself striking. He would be so surprised.
I shook myself. It was a pointless thing to do, and anyway, the food did look a little more appetizing now that he had piled it up. I took a tentative bite, and was surprised to find that I enjoyed it.
“Thank you,” I said to Valentin, and regretted it at once. I did not owe my captor gratitude for providing me with edible food, even if I did feel slightly guilty for thinking about blinding him. But he accepted the thanks before I could think how to retract them.
“You’re welcome.” Valentin sat in a wooden chair across from me, watching blank-faced while I ate. Whatever discomfort it gave him to see me in the black-haired girl’s dress, he seemed to have overcome it. I took another bite, and then another before the last was swallowed. The bread had a rich, tangy flavor. I finished it quickly and started piling the remaining cabbage and eggs on the other piece of bread.
“I have to see Will,” I said when I had swallowed my food. “You may bring him here, or bring me to him.”
Valentin snorted.
“Somehow you have become convinced that I do your bidding, when it is the other way around.”
“If I can’t see Will, I’ll stop,” I said. It was not a threat, but a fact, and one outside my control. Valentin’s mouth twitched. He seemed to see it.
“If you require persuasion, we could bring your other friend here. The one who still has fingernails that he does not need.”
It was a bluff, but a chilling one.
“Surely it would be easier to let me speak to Will than to torture Dominic,” I said. “Dominic owes no debt to your Burggraf. You have no right to hurt him.”
Valentin’s eyes flashed their agreement even while the rest of him remained still.
“Perhaps you would do it anyway, but you wouldn’t enjoy it,” I said, testing a theory. “Though you didn’t mind torturing Will at all.”
No one but you would mind torturing Will, said my mother.
I shook her out of my head again.
One corner of Valentin’s mouth twitched up. Far from minding my attempt to pry into his mind, he approved it.
“Not quite right,” he said. “I did not think I would mind torturing William Percy. But in the end I found there is no pleasure in hurting a defenseless man, no matter how much he may deserve it.”
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” I asked. “Whatever it is you think Will has done, you want me to know what it is. And yet, you also don’t. You and Rahel both. Why?” He didn’t answer, so I continued, thinking out loud. “It’s because you want me to continue with the work, isn’t it? You were hired to find Will and make him fulfill his debt, and you feel obliged to do your duty. And you think whatever you are hiding might turn me against Will, don’t you? You think I would stop loving him, and leave him to his fate if I knew. If I knew … what?”
His eyes flicked down, I thought, to my chest. But they continued moving down my bodice, over to the sleeves. He was looking at my dress. At the dark-haired girl’s dress.
“The Burggraf has another daughter, doesn’t he?”
Valentin sat quietly for a moment. Whatever struggle there might have been in his mind did not show on his face, except for a forced blankness there. Finally he stood.
“You may speak with Percy,” he said.
I stood as well. I set aside the tray and brushed my hands on the sprigged dress.
“Tell me her name,” I said.
Valentin held the door for me in silence, and we proceeded up yet another flight of stairs. These were at the back of the house, hidden behind a low door. The fourth floor was little more than an attic: cramped, low-ceilinged, and drafty. These were servants’ quarters, unadorned and markedly colder than the lower floors. We stopped in front of the narrowest door at the end of the corridor.
“Ada,” said Valentin.
I didn’t understand at first. I thought perhaps he had begun to say something in German, and stopped. Then I realized he was answering my question. Ada was a name. It was the dark-haired girl’s name.
“Ada,” I said again, pronouncing it with a soft “A” sound, as he did. It sounded childish with that accent, like baby babble. One might
