“Is there a fever?” I asked.
Valentin tilted his head. “Yes.”
“It’s—” I tried to think of an explanation for my fit. It had seemed quite natural at the time, not mad or even out of proportion. But now I could not sort out the jumble of thoughts from the wild rage that had taken me. I would not tell him about the figure in the corner; I was not ready to see his alarm at that revelation. I seized on the last certain thought I had. “There was a man at the gate.” My father. That had been real, surely? “I think. He wanted something. The guard sent him away. I have to know what he said. I have to know what he wanted.”
Valentin peered at me, and it was clear enough what he was thinking. I quelled a powerful urge to shout that I was not mad and took another deep breath. I uncurled my fingers, flattened my face. I met his eyes and tried my best to appear sane.
“I became overexcited.” My calm, slow voice sounded to my own ears like it belonged to someone else. “I apologize.”
Valentin snorted.
“Now I am certain you have lost your mind,” he said. But he released my arm. “I was going to escort you to breakfast. Your friend Dominic is well enough. Fräulein Rahel said you might both eat in the dining room this morning, if you like.”
“Will Rahel be there?” One meal under her smoldering glare was enough.
“She takes breakfast in her room.”
I hesitated, and Valentin went on. “I will ask Karl who he sent away from the gate. Come, you must be hungry. You ate almost nothing yesterday.”
I could not suppress a small, wry smile at his concern. One might call it motherly, though not if one had my mother in mind. The almost nothing I ate yesterday would have seemed a great deal to her.
“There are sausages and strudel,” Valentin continued, starting to sound impatient. “And your friend Dominic is already there.”
If the truth were told, I didn’t want to see Dominic much more than I did Rahel. He would certainly attempt to convince me to stop work again, something Valentin ought to have known considering how loudly Dominic had shouted his objections the other day. And I was afraid of what he might see on my face. On the other hand, I was suddenly ravenous for sausages and strudel. I nodded and followed Valentin.
I slipped into the dining room quietly. It was full of men again. This time they hovered over the sideboard helping themselves to pastries and sausage rather than liquor. Dominic sat at the table, slouched over a cup of coffee, not a scrap of food left on his plate. He eyed the sideboard, evidently planning his second course. He hadn’t seen me come in, so I was able to observe him unobstructed for a few moments. He looked disheveled and somewhat underslept, as one would after spending a few nights chained to a radiator, fending off madness. But his eyes were clear. His color was healthy. He seemed well. I straightened my shoulders and hoped I could give him the same impression.
“Good morning, Dominic,” I said.
He looked up at the sound of my voice, eyes wide, and jumped to his feet.
“Thea!”
I crossed to the sideboard, ignoring the sidelong glances of the Prussians, and filled a plate so full that a sausage nearly rolled off the top. Dominic pulled out a seat next to him, which I could hardly refuse. I sat in it with as much dignity as a person can when she has just served herself enough food to fill several grown men.
“You look very well,” I said.
“You don’t,” said Dominic with a frown. I glanced up at him in surprise, and his expression fell into embarrassment. “Oh—I didn’t mean— You look quite well, I mean to say— You always look—”
He broke off, gripping his coffee, and stared into it for a moment to recover himself. “I mean you look rather warm, and…”
“And a bit mad?” I supplied.
“No,” said Dominic, flushing.
This one is just full of social graces, isn’t he? said my mother.
My heart thudded wildly at the sound of her voice. Even here, surrounded by people, I couldn’t escape it.
“I feel a bit mad,” I admitted, and took an enormous bite of apple turnover and almost choked as I swallowed it in haste. “I would never eat this much in my right mind, especially in front of a man.”
I tried to smile at him, but he looked back at me with such alarm that I couldn’t make my mouth hold the shape.
“I’m all right, Dominic,” I lied to him.
“I don’t believe you,” he said.
I thought about telling him what I had seen in the corner. Dominic hadn’t mentioned seeing anything like that. Though he had heard his father’s voice. I nearly asked him about it, but I remembered the raw terror in his voice when he spoke of it. Hell, he had said. It was like hell.
“Thea,” he began.
I swallowed hard and held up my hand. “You won’t convince me, Dominic,” I said. “Please do not ruin a lovely breakfast attempting the impossible. Who knows how many more meals we will get to take together?”
Dominic looked stricken, and it was my turn to regret my choice of words.
“Oh, I didn’t mean anything grim,” I said hastily. “Perhaps they didn’t tell you? I’ve arranged with them to take you to Prussia when this is over, and give you what you need to study medicine.”
Dominic met my eyes for half a moment, his brows drawn into a deep frown. Then he stared back into his coffee. “I asked you not to do that,” he said. “I don’t want anything that costs you your mind.”
My hunger had left me abruptly, but I shoveled a sausage into my mouth
