‘You don’t have to sound so surprised,’ Harv says sniffily. ‘I do have my moments.’ He picks up the full pint and takes a swig.
I can’t stop myself smiling. ‘I thought Guinness was worse for you than a Zinger Burger?’
He wipes his foamy top lip. ‘These are extreme circumstances.’
I almost laugh, before I remember just how extreme these circumstances are.
‘So listen,’ I say. ‘Can I stay at yours tonight?’
‘Yeah, man, of course. Stay for as long as you want.’
‘Really? I’m not going to get in the way of you and your fitness instructor Tinder girl, am I?’
‘Nah. I’m not sure that’s a long-term thing anyway, to be honest.’
‘OK. Thanks, man. Seriously. I really appreciate it.’
‘No worries. Of course.’
I breathe out shakily and lean back in my chair. For Harv, it was only last night that we were sitting in this exact same spot while I wrestled internally with how to lay my emotions bare in front of him. This time, there’s no need to wrestle. I’m drunk and broken and it all just spills out.
‘What the fuck am I going to do, Harv?’ I slur.
He shifts awkwardly in his seat. I can tell before he even opens his mouth that he’s going to reach for the tried-and-tested banter to put out this fire. ‘Come live with me permanently,’ he deadpans. ‘It’ll be like old times. We’ll get some goldfish, name them after rappers. Sit around playing FIFA all day in our pants. It’ll be great.’
I attempt a laugh, but it gets swallowed by a strangled sob. I can feel my eyes starting to prickle again. I’m going to break down in front of him, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
‘I think my marriage is over,’ I whisper. And as I hear myself say the words, the cold, hard reality of them hits me like a truck. All this jumping about through time has been for nothing. All it’s done has made me realise how much I love Daphne. But now I’m here – back in the real world, where actions actually have consequences – and I’ve screwed it all up.
I’ve lost her. Maybe for good.
I put a hand over my eyes, but I can feel the tears leaking through my fingers.
‘Sorry, man …’ I mutter.
I can’t see Harv, but I feel him reach across and place a hand on my shoulder. ‘Mate, don’t be stupid,’ he says quietly. ‘This is you and Daphne. It can’t be over. You’re clearly meant to be together.’
That just makes the tears come even faster. ‘You really think so?’ I gulp.
‘Of course.’ He squeezes my shoulder. ‘It’s obvious. It always has been. You can totally save this. You just need to be sure that you actually want to.’
‘I do,’ I say. ‘More than anything.’
‘Well, why didn’t you tell her, then?’
‘Tell her what?’
‘About Alice.’
I take my hand away from my face and look at him. ‘Because … Are you mad? You’ve just heard how she reacted when she found out.’
He nods. ‘Yeah, because she found out. That’s very different from you choosing to tell her. You say you want it to work, but if you’re planning on keeping massive secrets from her, it’s never going to, is it?’
I sniff loudly and stare into the dregs of my pint. ‘No, I guess not.’
He takes another sip of his drink and wriggles in his chair again. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘this whole thing is a bit like what happened with me and Liv.’
He’s using that same forced-casual tone that Alice used in Paris when she was asking about me and Daphne. He’s trying very hard to make out like this is just a casual statement; that it’s no big deal. But I know full well that it is.
I clear my throat and push my pint away. ‘How d’you mean?’
He avoids my eye, concentrates instead on spinning his beer mat. ‘You know she went off with that guy, that Made in Chelsea dickhead?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, that had been going on for a while. She didn’t tell me – I found out. Same as Daphne did. And that’s … Even though it was the worst I’ve ever felt, and the idea of losing her made me sick, I knew that it couldn’t ever work if I didn’t trust her. That’s why you need to be totally honest with Daff. Tell her everything that happened – everything – and then tell her it won’t ever happen again. And make sure that you mean it.’ He takes another sip of Guinness and looks me straight in the eye. ‘In the end, Liv wasn’t worth fighting for, but Daphne definitely is. She’s fucking brilliant. I’ve always said it.’
I blink and nod, feeling lighter suddenly. For the first time since I walked out of our flat three hours ago, I can see a tiny crack of light in the darkness. My heart is pumping, and I’m much more sober than I was a few seconds back. ‘You’re right,’ I say. ‘I have to fight for her. I just hope it’s not too late.’
‘It’s not, mate.’ Harv smiles. ‘Trust me.’
He takes another swig of his pint. His cheeks are flushed – presumably from the novelty of us discussing something that actually matters for once. He slams the glass down and smacks his lips. ‘God, I’ve missed Guinness. Vodka tonic really can’t compete.’
I laugh. ‘Harv, I’ve wanted to say for a while now that I’m really sorry about Liv. I feel like I was a shit friend to you throughout that whole time.’
He shakes his head. ‘No, you weren’t, man. I completely cut everyone off. I was trying so hard to blend in with her and her mates: going to those awful private members’
