soot on his cheeks
cuts on his hands
almost nose to nose
with me whispering
Robert, I was there.
I saw most of it.
it’s still my fault
Is it?
you didn’t see you don’t know
I pushed her out of the shed
and and
and pulled her lighter from her
and
threw it in the leaves
Bobby—
which caught fire
which they wouldn’t have done
if I hadn’t
so . . .
Father Percy leaned back
from my nose
he puffed coffee
breath from his mouth
She asked for me
To come to the hospital.
tell me she’ll be all right
he said she broke three ribs
one arm and busted up
her leg and messed
both hands and fingers
nothing fatal
but I cried
to think of her banged up
so bad
then he said again
She asked for me to come.
which by some miracle
I knew what he meant
confession
had she told him
what she went there for?
had she told him everything?
they have the lighter
even if they can’t tell whose it is
they know somebody started the fire
It was an accident.
that’s not true!
besides
Besides what?
I don’t know
So what are you going to do?
Make it easier for her by lying?
Saying you did it. Have this
On your record?
no
I don’t know
maybe
who cares?
I care. Your father cares.
Rachel. She cares.
good one.
Look, it’s my property anyway.
Not church property,
The shed.
I built it myself.
So it’s my call,
And I say it wasn’t either of you.
they won’t believe it
I went out to have a smoke,
Saw you, was surprised,
and dropped my lighter.
I don’t know exactly, but I won’t let
This go the wrong way.
shouldn’t you ask the Pope
if it’s okay to lie?
Robert, don’t.
I have to say something
I have to speak up
he stood from his chair
sat down again
You do, you absolutely do, Bobby, yes.
And you have. To me.
But it’s not Christ you’re speaking to in the station tonight,
Not someone who sees all the way into your heart.
It’s busy, tired people who can’t see inside you,
Who can’t, because maybe you won’t let them.
and you can?
see inside?
he breathed again
sat back leaned forward
was going to say
something
but I did
what she can do
that’s . . .
she needs to do it
to keep doing it
he shook his head once
looked out the door
of the office
to the others
a new man stood with them
the lawyer
Rachel saw me
like I don’t see myself
maybe she’s the one
who really has soft eyes
he raised his face to me
You were listening.
I listen
I see stuff
I know you do.
You see everything.
And you let her in, not an easy thing to do.
You are her friend.
he went quiet
for a minute
And the other part, what will you say
About how she ended up down by the river?
I looked at him
into his eyes as
he looked into mine
she said some bad things
on the ledge
it’s all over I can’t live
stuff like that
Rachel will need to talk to someone.
I will do everything in my power
To help her.
then
I guess
I’ll tell the truth
Which is?
that it was
raining lightning thundering
it was crazy in the woods
and she
slipped
he swallowed
nodded his head slowly
breathed out again
again
All right, then. Come on.
And after this, let’s rebuild the shed
Together, you and me.
but
But nothing.
Let’s talk to them now.
The police, your father,
Everyone.
Okay?
it was hard to make
my mouth move
and there was nearly
no air coming up
my throat
but I said
okay
yeah
yes
So I Said No Way
did she set any fire
I was there and saw she didn’t
there was a storm
there was a fire
everything was sudden
too sudden to see right
and she only tripped and fell
in the stormy woods
while she ran for help
Father Percy told them
I went out there for a break.
The children surprised me.
I dropped my lighter.
Rachel ran for help.
Robert followed her.
they wrote this down
And why did you want to speak
With Robert Lang just now?
Because I am his priest.
Jimmy didn’t blink
And I am his friend.
her mother was a mess
but since there
were no other witnesses
and one of the ones
who said he saw it all
was a priest
that ended it
The Art School Said
that they would take her still
they would admit her
the moment
her ribs
and arms and legs
and hands healed up enough
for her to take her lessons
If you can’t make
First semester,
You can do second.
And the summer session too.
Your work is too good
To let this slow you down.
I liked that they knew it
and said it
because it was true
and if she was
broken inside
like her body was
for weeks after that night
maybe she could
sometime
somewhere
unbreak herself
It Stormed
for weeks
first rain
then snow
then rain
and thunderstorms
all of that month
a kind of gray
even after Rachel
came back to school
the big part of it
was over
my part
except for maybe
seeing her limping
around the halls
which because of how
I always saw her face
was hard not to do
some days a car
came to take her out
before the school day ended
Mondays was her mother
Thursdays just a car
Therapist
she mouthed to me in the hall
one time
I did the same
good for you
but it was weird
she knew I knew she had confessed
I knew she knew I lied for her
I felt every eye was watching us
and stayed away from her
which was sort of like before
folding myself in myself
mope the halls
keep
my eyes down
count my strides
feel my way
to corners
count the doors
fountains and lavs
all without looking up
until one time I turned my
face a little to the left
and there she was
her eyes drawing me
to her
catching me
cornering me
in the art room hall
I’m going to the city tomorrow.
Come see me off.
Jimmy Didn’t Speak
when he took me
to the train station
she was there with
her mother
her father would be waiting
at the other end
she stood on the platform
one arm in a sling
moving stiffly
like some half-dead soldier
her black case resting
at her side
her mother stepped
away
didn’t look at me
but didn’t scream
at me either
progress
I thought
I’ll split my time—
she said
starting as usual
in the middle of a thought
she was talking about
life and her new school
which had started her
in weekend classes
nodding backward
she whispered
We talk. The three of us. A lot.
He’s smart, your priest. The therapist too.
My mother promised not
To make my life
A living hell.
things are looking up
Ha. Yeah. Maybe because
Of him. Maybe because
She almost lost me.
Hilarious, huh?
yeah
yeah but
not so much
she chewed her lip
looked at her mother then
at me
So I’ll be here part-time
Part-time with my dad.
I have a therapist there too.
It’s better.
We’ll see what happens.
her mother was getting all
twitchy
pacing up and back
until the train came
running slow
until it stopped
that was pretty much it
except Rachel hugged me
not long but
yeah
after that
her mother disappeared
as if no one there
and Jimmy snickered
from where he stood
leaning against the truck
She’s some piece of work,
The mother, yeah?
yeah
but there was
a look on his face
I’ve never seen before
I stepped away from
the truck
to see him better
like the
