Alex’s and Jen’s smiles fill the screen once it loads. I move to the part where Alex puts his hand on Jen’s cheek, then kisses her during a lull in the music.
I watch it again.
I know it’s just acting, not how Alex really felt. Maybe skating as a princess in my free program doesn’t say anything about me, either.
I really wish I could believe that, but Alex got to be himself again after his performance. Between skating and Hayden, I feel like I’m stuck between two things that both feel wrong.
As skaters leave the ice, I set my phone down and look away. Besides my program, I have something else to worry about today. Mom’s going to call Hayden’s parents during her lunch break.
“Ana!” Hope sails off the ice, skidding to a stop in front of my bench. “Mom called. She’s meeting us at the restaurant across the street!”
I look up at her. It’s not even noon. Mrs. Park isn’t supposed to pick us up for hours.
Hope kicks off one of her skates, then hops closer to me. “Come on. Hurry.”
I untie the top rungs on my skate, then glance at Hope. She’s already got her second boot off. “What’s going on? Why is your mom here so early?”
“It’s the first week of July.” Hope says this like it means something. I shake my head as she swipes a towel across the slush on her blades. “Our costumes arrived. Mom’s handing them out at lunch!”
“Ohhh.”
Mom told me the seamstress shipped them out to Mrs. Park a few days ago. Then Hayden invited me to hang out and I forgot I had even more stuff to worry about.
I pick up my pace for Hope’s sake. Faith walks ahead of us with a pair of girls around our age. We cross the road and enter a diner. Vintage knickknacks line the walls.
Mrs. Park sits at a booth near the back. She drapes a large garment bag across the table, then pulls garbage bags out of her purse. “For later, to keep the dresses clean on the ride home.” She opens one of the garbage bags. There’s a hole in the center of the bottom seam where a hanger can be slipped through.
Mrs. Park unzips the garment bag, and thousands of crystals reflect light from the overhead lamp in a shimmering spectrum of silver, black, and red.
“Faith first. For her free skate.”
Mrs. Park lifts up the deep red dress, trimmed with black crystals and a hint of lace around the neck. Faith reaches out and lays the dress flat on the table so the rest of us can admire it. This would be a good time to tell her how perfectly this new dress matches her music. Maybe that would make up for turning down her lunch invitation, plus all the times I’ve avoided her lately.
A second dress emerges before I can form the words. Mrs. Park holds it up before passing the dress to its new owner. I swallow. My throat feels thick, like someone’s wrapped a hand around it.
My phone vibrates. As Mrs. Park pulls out another outfit, I skim over a text from Mom.
11:34 a.m.: I spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Lubeck. You may spend Saturday with Hayden. We’ll discuss more later.
I reread her message, studying it for hints about what Hayden’s parents might have said.
Hope nudges me. I look up, and a powder-blue dress fills my vision. Everyone waits for me to react.
Shimmery white Lycra lines the chest and shoulders. The skirt sways as Mrs. Park holds it out to me. I hesitate before reaching to accept it.
“It’s sooooo pretty,” Hope says. She’s right. A champion would wear a dress just like this on the top step of the podium.
I blink fast. Bite my lip. I could get used to it. Maybe.
“What’s wrong?” Faith asks.
Hope’s eyes flicker from the dress to me. “Don’t you like it?”
“I”—swallowing again, I look at the dress in my hands—“thought it would be pink.”
“It’s okay.” Hope pats me on the shoulder, like she’s trying to reassure a little kid. “Princesses don’t always wear purple or pink. You’ll still look really pretty.”
Hope twists to look when Mrs. Park pulls out another costume, but I barely notice. My eyes are still on my dress, plus a small envelope attached to its hanger. I pick at the tape until it opens. It’s a bill from the seamstress.
For sixteen hundred dollars.
My heart nose-dives into my stomach. It’s not just the cost that’s making me feel sick. This is the first time I can imagine how I’ll look at the skate-school recital. Lots of people will be there watching me, like Cyn and the rest of the Lubeck family. What will Hayden think if he sees me perform in this?
“Ana?”
A hand waves in front of my face. I blink the table back into focus and look over at Faith.
“We’re going to order lunch.” Faith watches me carefully. “What do you want?”
Hope passes me a menu before I can answer. Most of the entrees are over ten dollars. The appetizers aren’t any cheaper. I still have the twenty Mom gave me, but this definitely isn’t an emergency.
Our waitress taps a pencil against her notepad. The plastic bag crinkles as I slip my dress in and move it to my lap, on top of my phone with Mom’s text about the Lubecks. I still don’t know if Hayden knows my secret. What I do know is that this bill will make things harder for Mom, even if I save us money by qualifying to skip Regionals.
“Thanks, but I’m good.” I reach under my chair for my lunch bag. Forcing a smile, I place it in front of me. With a heavy
