Gloria didn’t answer right away, but when she did finally respond, that small pleasant smile was gracing her lips again. “I think that you know why it is that you’re here—what it is that you’re hoping to get out of our time together. And that’s good. Quite good, actually.”
Carmen smiled then, feeling something inside her start to crumble, not in the manner where she could feel everything inside her break and fall apart, but in the sense that something within was breaking free.
And she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt such genuine, soul-satisfying hope.
57.
Ghosts From The Past
Asa smiled at the camera, the forced gesture hurting his cheeks and the flash blinding him momentarily.
“Perfect!” Lyra squealed, grinning so wide that Asa found it miraculous her face didn’t split open.
“That’s the sixth attempt of yours to take a selfie of us,” Asa remarked dryly, watching as Lyra’s fingers swept across her phone’s screen, trying to decide on a filter.
“Haven’t you heard?” She grinned, eyes still fixed on the device, “sixth time’s the charm.”
Asa snorted. “You mean third time’s the ch—”
“Oh, can you not rain on my parade?” She shot him an annoyed glare before going back to upload the photo on one of her social media accounts with the tag #EighteenthBirthdayBash, causing Asa to roll his eyes.
“If I remember correctly, this is my parade,” he told her with a raised brow. “Which, by the way, you weren’t supposed to organise because I told Wyatt and Hayden I wasn’t exactly up for any celebrations.”
Lyra closed down the app she was using and turned the phone’s screen off before tucking it into her back pocket and frowning up at Asa. “You know, everyone here’s having a good time but the birthday boy himself,” she commented.
Asa sighed, eyes sweeping over all the nameless people dancing to the deafening music reverberating throughout Lyra’s house, plastic red cups being passed around every other minute or so.
This used to be his kind of scene. Once. But it no longer held the same allure.
“Well,” he paused. “Thanks for going through all the trouble to throw this whole thing on my behalf.” He offered Lyra a tight smile and walked around her, heading towards the balcony upstairs in a sudden need for fresh air.
When Asa finally managed to squeeze his way through the crowd and sneak into the balcony, he noticed there were water droplets scattered all over the wooden railings. His eyes flickered upwards on instinct and watched as it continued to drizzle, the breeze occasionally spraying some of the raindrops his way.
Did Carmen like the rain?
Asa had never got around to asking her that, and now he wished he had.
He supposed she wouldn’t. After all, she enjoyed walks, didn’t she? She loved visiting the local parks and just sitting there. And the rain would’ve been more of a hindrance in her eyes.
But then again, Carmen probably wouldn’t mind it too much. She loved nature just as it was, didn’t she? She would have continued to love it: heat, rain or snow. She had always been so ready to walk during the chilly weather without so much as a sweater, that he was certain she would gladly do so even while the sky was pouring down from above her too.
That seemed more like Carmen, always ready and willing to accept things as they were without wanting to change a single element.
Asa wondered why she couldn’t love herself as much as she loved everything else around her.
A strong gust of wind blew past, spraying some of the rain right into his eyes and ruffling his hair. Asa blinked, his vision becoming slightly blurry before he rubbed the raindrops from his eyes and looked down at Lyra’s front lawn with a clearer sight.
A girl squealed, drawing Asa’s attention, and he watched as she ran down the grass, with her friend yelling something from behind, both of them running to take shelter under the veranda as the rain grew heavier, no longer a drizzle now.
Asa wondered if Carmen would be the kind of girl who ran away from the shelter and towards the rain instead.
He could see her doing something like that. He could also see himself following her into the downpour, not really too bothered about getting soaked. He just wanted to see that spark of life in Carmen’s eyes and her lips stretch into a carefree smile.
Asa also found himself wondering what it would’ve have been like if she was here now. He wondered what it would’ve been like to grab her hand and lead her to the lawn, to stand down there on the grass and kiss her in the rain.
Stop it, he chided himself. Stop thinking of Carmen. You’re supposed to hate her. So hate her.
An aggravated sigh left his mouth.
“Bailing on your own party?” He heard Wyatt chuckle from behind him. “That’s new.”
“Well,” Asa shot him a sideways glance as Wyatt stepped into the space next to him, “technically, its Lyra’s party. And Hayden’s. And yours. I didn’t know about it until tonight.”
Wyatt huffed, shoulders slumping slightly in defeat. “Yeah, we thought it was worth a shot.”
“A shot at what?” Asa asked curiously.
“Providing you with some form of distraction,” Wyatt replied, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
Asa blinked. “I don’t need any distractions.”
Wyatt snorted. “Of course not. Swimming seems to be doing that for you.”
“What do you mean?” Asa turned to face him fully, mouth pulling down into a frown at the corners.
“Just that you’ve been throwing yourself into it a lot lately. A lot more than usual, that is. You spend every single spare period in the pool, and then on the weekends,
