Carmen shrugged, exhaling loudly, and as she did so, a wave of self-content washed over her, making her feel a little lighter on the inside than she had in the past few months.
“They’re a reminder,” she responded.
“Of the fact that you can break things?”
Carmen smiled again, the memory slowly unfolding and playing out in her head, and she could swear that she felt it right then: the ghost of Asa’s hand brush against her fingers from the time when he had placed those broken halves into her palm.
“Of the fact that broken doesn’t always mean completely useless,” she told him softly. “And shouldn’t be assumed as trash.”
Hunter’s brows furrowed, ocean blue eyes narrowing at her curiously as he leant his shoulder against her doorframe, with one hand still clutching the handle.
Carmen sighed. “I mean, these can still colour, right?”
“You’re weird,” he told her seriously. “But I happen to like you, so I guess I’ve got to tolerate your philosophical moments.”
“Please,” Carmen let out a tiny snort, “you love me.”
“Yeah?” His lips twitched at the obvious repression of a smile. “Says who?”
“Says the fact that you stay over every single time your dad is out of town,” Carmen told him with a raised brow. “And your dad’s out of town a lot.”
Hunter offered her an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “Well, get used to it. Because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, if ever.”
“I don’t want to get rid of you,” Carmen said warmly, noticing that he didn’t exactly acknowledge the fact that he loved her. Surprisingly enough though, Carmen wasn’t upset about it.
She didn’t doubt it anymore; Hunter did love her, even while struggling to break down that steely armour he’d grown so used to enveloping himself with. And Carmen was okay with letting him take his own time to grow comfortable with the shift in their relationship compared to how it had been the beginning of senior year and all the times before that.
“Don’t you miss your home, though?” she asked in an attempt to change the topic, moving to sit on her bed with her legs outstretched in front of her and her back resting against the headboard.
Hunter pushed himself off the doorframe and hesitated before stepping into her room, a piece of cloth balled up in one of his fists. Placing the maroon material on her desk, he dragged the chair towards the bed and stopped right across from her before dropping down on it.
“Home is wherever you are,” he told her with a simple shrug of his shoulders, but Carmen noticed he looked slightly tensed, almost as if he didn’t particularly like admitting that.
And for some reason, Asa’s face flashed through her mind: hurt, disbelief, betrayal, heartbreak.
“Don’t,” Carmen said quietly, causing Hunter’s eyes to snap towards her. “Don’t let me have such a huge place in your life. Asa did, and all it brought him was pain.”
“Well,” Hunter paused, observing Carmen for a while before smiling softly, “you’re worth the pain.”
Carmen pursed her lips, looking at him with slight weariness, not truly believing what he was saying. And as if trying to prove its point, her mind replayed the very words Hunter had uttered to her in the school hallways when he’d walked in on Asa holding her hand.
“You know, in a twisted way, the two of you would actually be a perfect fit for each other.”
Carmen didn’t say anything and just watched Hunter with a conflicted heart and sad smile as his words from what felt like a lifetime ago resounded in her head.
“That boy may like broken things but you’re not broken, Carmen. You’re a goddamn abomination.”
Hunter had said that to her, he had. But it was also Hunter who was telling Carmen now that she was worth the pain. He was telling her that he believed that.
It was hard to digest what he was saying now when he’d unblinkingly ripped her heart to shreds before. Carmen wondered if it was the same for Asa. She wondered if he, too, doubted Carmen’s words when she’d opened up to him about Hunter a few days back.
But maybe, just maybe, Asa would come to realise that the cracks that Carmen had inflicted upon his heart were capable of being sewn together by only her. Just like Carmen was beginning to realise Hunter’s words now was drawing out the venom of his previous ones that’d crept into her being.
Because sometimes, and only sometimes, the ones who broke certain parts of your heart were the only ones who could truly help you patch those pieces back together. The ones that could cause that kind of damage were sometimes the very ones you allowed to step across your threshold, the ones you deemed were worthy of the pain they’d brought. The ones you loved more than you hated despite what they had done to you.
Carmen was ready to fully acknowledge and accept the fact that she wanted to love Hunter more than she hated all the pain he’d brought, and she could only hope with every fibre of her being that Asa could find it in him to love her more than he hated what she’d done as well.
“Hunter, it’s okay.” The words left her mouth before she could truly register them.
His observant gaze turned puzzled and he knitted his eyebrows together. “What’s okay?”
“Us,” Carmen told him softly, leaning forward and slipping a hand in his. “I forgive you, you know. It’s okay. We’re okay.”
Hunter just continued to stare at her, his Adam’s apple bobbing as the conflict in his eyes grew. His mouth fell
