There was a long stretch of silence, but it didn’t worry Carmen because neither was it an uncomfortable one or the kind that implied it was the calm before a storm. It just felt like he was contemplating how to phrase his words.
“She was having a go at Willa, I guess,” he finally said. “And I tried to reason with her. Make her see that maybe there was just more to the story; that the two of them always being at each other’s throats was stupid and tiresome to everyone around them.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, obviously a dumb thing to do because it pissed her off,” he mumbled, his tone growing distant and uncertain. “I had the same conversation with Willa that very day when school was over, but she’s as stubborn in her opinion of Isla as Isla is about her.”
“It’s exhausting,” Carmen agreed. “I feel like I’m the only one sticking up for Isla when Lottie and Willa are talking about her behind her back. But you know what, Asa? I’ve come to the conclusion that, at the end of the day, you and I don’t owe them anything.” She picked up another brush, dipping it in a sandy brown shade this time. “We’ve done our part as not being ignorant bystanders; the rest is up to them.”
“It’s just that…” Asa trailed off, and Carmen’s hand stilled in its movements, her eyes finding his with the desperation to grab at the opportunity of him opening up to her in some way.
“What, Asa?” She coaxed, her tone gentle.
“She said some pretty harsh shit,” he muttered, looking away and training his eyes on the nonexistent patterns his feet drew on the tiled floor of the room. “And…and I don’t know if that’s how she’s always seen me, you know? I mean, they say drunk words are sober thoughts, and I’m wondering if that applies to words fuelled by anger, too.”
Carmen’s hand lowered on its own accord, placing the brush next to the paint palette as her feet lifted her off the stool and began moving towards him. Towards Asa.
Always towards Asa.
She came to a stop just inches away from him, standing between his outstretched legs as he continued to keep his gaze fixed on his shoes.
Sighing softly, she took a gentle hold of his chin and titled his head up to meet her eyes.
“I don’t think that was the case, Asa,” Carmen murmured. “Despite the fact that I only spoke to Isla for the first time ever during that lunch period we all sat at the same table, I knew her long before that. People think that just because I’m quiet, I’m blind, too. But I’m not.” Her thumb drew circles on his chin, right below the curve of his bottom lip. “I’ve seen Isla when she’s all fired up and ready to go into attack mode. She’s the kind who goes in for the kill, but you should already know this more than me, yeah? I think she knew she had power over you because of her knowledge of your weak spots, and she wasn’t shy about pushing those buttons. That was malicious, yes. But I don’t think Isla’s always seen you in any way other than being her extraordinary best friend that she loves. She let her anger get the best of her, but that doesn’t define who you are, okay?”
His lips twitched, before lifting up at the corners into the faintest of smiles. “All right.”
“It speaks more about her character instead,” she said, offering him a smile of her own.
He didn’t speak, didn’t so much as blink an eye as his eyes burned into hers with a kind of intensity that Carmen could only relate to the sun. And then, slowly, he lifted his hand and stretched it towards her, turning his palm outwards.
Carmen stared at it, her mouth opening to ask something—anything. But for the first time, she realised that there was nothing she could say to overpower the sensation that flowed through her at how inviting the surface of his calloused palm looked.
So, she lifted her own hand, placing it in his with uncertainty and a slight tremble in her fingers because it was so much more than just letting him hold her hand in his. So, so much more.
As soon as her palm met his, she felt his fingers cover her hand and tug her forward, until their chests were just a mere breath away from making contact.
And his eyes. His eyes. Oh goodness, his eyes. They had to have been carved from the sun itself because the way they burned into hers should’ve left her blinded. Instead, she only found it harder to look away and when his other hand came up to brush away her hair from the left side of her face, she felt her heartbeat accelerate.
Her heart that’d felt a little too dead this morning was so full of life right now. She feared she might actually explode into a million little stars because that was with it was like to have Asa San Román look at you that way; it felt like you were more than just human. Like you were capable of being made of tiny little galaxies in his eyes.
That is how Carmen felt when his eyes swept over her face like he had all the time in the world; she felt like she held stardust in her veins and that through Asa’s eyes, she probably was beautiful in a way she’d never seen herself as.
He learnt forward, his thumb turning her face to the side at the same time, and before she could ask him why he was turning her face away, she felt him press his lips
