Carmen shook her head slowly, not taking her eyes off him. “Asa, I’m not looking for assurance,” she told him truthfully. Because Carmen West didn’t need to be told otherwise. She’d long since accepted her fate and needed to learn to live with the fact that some people just would never shine that bright. “I’ve just had this on my mind for a while now and felt like telling you. That’s all.”
“Yeah, well, screw the stars,” he muttered. “I’m not in love with them, I’m in love with you. And that’s all the light I need.”
Carmen beamed at him, her eyes shining as she leant forward and brushed her lips against his in a fleeting kiss. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know,” she mumbled against his mouth.
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” He smiled, leaning his forehead against hers.
They remained there like that, forgetting about the rest of the world for a few more heartbeats.
•••
“Hey, Dad?”
Carmen’s dad looked up at her from the pancakes stacked on his plate. “Yeah?”
She dug her fork into her own breakfast, gripping it hard as she tried to keep her eyes fixed on him, instead of looking away.
“Um,” she said and then hesitated. “I kind of have a date tomorrow night.”
It had been two days since Carmen had told Asa she loved him back. Two days since he kissed her under a tree wrapped in fairy lights, Two days since he drove her back home and told her he wanted to take her out somewhere.
Her dad blinked, opened his mouth, and then closed it. Then opened it again. “Oh, that’s, uh, nice. That’s nice, yes.” He looked down, narrowing his eyes really hard at the pancakes like they were going to offer him some sort of advice. “Wait.” He met her eyes. “Is this the same guy who drives you back daily?”
Carmen nodded, holding her breath as she hoped against hope that her father wouldn’t make an objection like he’d done that day when he met Asa for the first time.
“All right.” He nodded, looking down at his food again, but not touching it. That upset Carmen.
“Dad.” She pressed her lips together, softening her tone as she tried to make him understand. “He’s…he’ not like that. He’s good to me. You need to trust me when I say that.”
“I do trust you,” he said eventually.
“And I trust Asa.” Carmen offered her father a small smile. “So you’ve got nothing to be worried about.”
He glanced at her, his forehead creased. “I’ll always be worried about you,” he muttered, but Carmen relaxed once she saw him fight off a smile. “So. The name’s Asa, huh?”
“Yeah.” Carmen shrugged, struggling to keep herself from grinning at the mere mention of his name.
“Well, make sure you come back at an appropriate time, yeah?” Her father shot her a quick smile. “I don’t want you returning home all by yourself too late in the night. It’s a safe neighbourhood but I don’t want to take any chances.”
Carmen stared at her dad, her lips pulled down into a frown. “What do you mean I’ll be returning home by myself? You’ll be here, right?”
“Honey, it’s a Monday. I’m on call tonight at the hospital, remember?”
“Wait, that means you won’t be here to greet Asa when he comes to pick me.” She tried to ignore the sudden wave of disappointment that washed through her, dampening the excitement she’d felt since this morning at the idea of going on her first date with Asa.
It must have shown in her tone or her expression, because her dad smiled apologetically at her. “I’m sorry, love.”
This wasn’t his fault, she told herself. It was his job, his commitment. There were lives depending on him tonight, and he needed to be there, at that hospital.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, though. So she forced a smile on her face and waved it off. “It’s all right, Dad. I get it, don’t worry.”
“Maybe some other time, then? Something tells me he’s going to be around for a long while. You wouldn’t have gotten involved unless you were serious about this guy.”
“We are serious,” she told him, her cheeks beginning to hurt due to the forced smile still plastered on her face.
Her dad nodded and seemed to look relieved. “See? I’ll get to meet him on another day. Don’t worry about it. You have a good time tonight.”
Carmen waited then. She waited for the hundred and one questions fathers bombarded their little girls with when it came to a boy.
Those questions didn’t come, though.
Because he didn’t want to know. He just wasn’t involved in her life the way she liked for him to be.
It stung, yes. But Carmen tried to tell herself it was just the impending “family” dinner that was getting to her father’s nerves. She knew that must genuinely be one of the biggest reasons he was so distracted lately, but she doubted he’d have asked more about Asa even if the dinner wasn’t happening.
It was only when her dad had finished with his breakfast, kissed her goodbye on the cheek, and left the house for work that Carmen let her shoulders drop with a heavy sigh. She let the fork drop to her plate, not really feeling like she wanted to eat anymore, and stared at the empty chair across from her where her father just sat moments ago.
“His name’s Asa, Dad,” she said to the vacant spot, her voice quiet. “His parents are originally from Mexico, but his dad is half-Dominican. He loves swimming, by the way—” she laughed weakly, feeling stupid for doing this, “—but he doesn’t want to
