“You’re pretty smooth when you want to be, Sinclair,” she said, a pink blush forming on her creamy skin as she fidgeted with a strand of her hair. “I was thinking about how to best say what I promised I’d tell you earlier…”
She didn’t reply, her gaze only watching the wind send the leaves rustling above our heads.
“The candy thing…” I worked the metal in my lip back and forth. “I trusted someone who hurt me when I was young. I was ten, and it was the first hard lesson I had to learn. Never take candy from a stranger, right? Well, what if it’s not a stranger? What if it’s someone you trust?”
I registered her breathing pick up at my side, the soft twitch of her pinky against mine.
“I knew the guy since I was born, ya know. Pierce Black.” I spat out his name, after years, like toxic venom I’d been holding inside too long. “My father’s best friend. Someone that was at birthday parties and Christmas dinners. He was my fucking godfather. He took an oath to protect me.” I took a deep breath, feeling lighter by telling her something that I hadn’t told anyone else. As I kept talking I felt the fear and freedom circle each other in my gut, doing a dance, both trying to get control or lose it.
“Kyler.” Maddy whispered. I hated hearing the pity in her voice.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare, Maddy. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. He’s dead now. I was happy when Monica told me. The day I found out Pierce Black was dead, I wanted to throw a party. Instead, I blacked out, drunk.”
Madison bolted to her feet then, eyes casting around the picnic blanket as if she’d been stung by an invisible source. “I, I think, I forgot something and I should go.”
“What?” I stood, reaching for her elbow, but she jerked out of my reach. Her hands were trembling. How long had her hands been trembling like that? “Maddy, what the fuck?”
“Jesus, Kyler, please just take me home!” Wild tears were rushing down her cheeks now. A part of me wanted to kiss them away, to beg her to tell me what was wrong, but another part felt only rage. I’d just divulged my worst nightmare and she was running from me, now? After everything?
“Fine. It would be my pleasure,” I spat, yanking the blanket into my arms and causing all of our takeout to dump out on the grass. I huffed, gathering everything in my arms and stomping to the back of my motorcycle to shove it all in the storage box. “Well, come on then. You want to throw a tantrum, let’s go then, I have better things to do than play games with little girls.”
Her eyes flared, fists clenching with a rage I hadn’t seen her channel before. “I’ll be walking home, thank you very much.”
“Maddy, look, it’s two and a half miles back home. I’ll drop you off, and then you never have to see my face again.”
Her eyes flared once before she set off down the path into Devil’s Bluff Lake. I walked my bike silently behind her, unwilling to leave her alone but totally un-fucking-sure how we’d taken this turn so abruptly.
“Look, Maddy--”
“No, Kyler. Just no.” She whipped her head around, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Now I need a beat, okay?”
My heart cracked wide as she used my own words against me.
She thought I was disgusting and she was right.
I was.
Why would anyone as perfect as her want to be with damaged goods?
Her words stung like knives and I had no reply.
Chapter 27
“If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave.” ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
Madison
“So...what happened between you and my brother?” Tammy asked, not so quietly, throwing her book on the table and resting on her elbows.
“Can you please keep your voice down?” Miss Richards, the librarian, said in a loud hushed tone. I always wondered how librarians did that, said what they needed to say in a forceful way but never really seemed louder than a whisper.
Tammy looked to her, mouthing sorry before turning her topaz eyes on me. “So what happened with you and my brother?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Maddy. He went from being a complete asshole to somewhat tolerable, to complete asshole again. The only time the fucker was even a bit happy was when he was with you. So what happened?” She sat down in the wooden chair, leaning back, her arms crossed at her chest.
“Tammy, I really need to study.” I dismissed her.
“Yes, my brother keeps making excuses too.”
“Maybe because it’s none of your business,” I said, probably a little too loudly, which was reinforced by a glare from Miss Richards.
I grabbed my book and headed out of the library. Tammy jumped up and followed. We garnered many looks from passersby as she grabbed my arm just outside the library doors, forcing me to turn and look at her.
“Can you please let go of my arm?” I asked, trying to stay calm. Kyler had many behavior issues because of the abuse he suffered, I wasn’t sure if Tammy did too. Usually abusers didn’t stick to just one kid and both of them were around the same age. I felt so defeated at that and wanted to scream. I was the product of a man that had ruined the lives of children; that had ruined the life of my own mother. I just wanted to run away and hide. Bury my head so deep and never come out. I couldn’t even look Tammy in the eye. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye.
“Sorry,” Tammy whispered, dropping her hand and backing a few steps away from me. “He’s just been harder
