At the bottom of the steps, I slowed my stride and tilted my head at him. “You’ve got a crazy ex, too?”
He pursed his lips together. “Colleen and I dated for a while freshman year. I thought it was no big deal, but when we broke up, she joined Nexis just to spite me.”
“Yikes,” I sucked in a breath, an image of the green-eyed blonde flashing in my head. “Sounds like you might know a thing or two about crazy exes.”
“You can say that again.” Bryan ran a hand through his dark, short-cropped hair. “Listen, I know this probably sounds weird after our crazy ex talk, but there’s this dorm party this weekend. You wanna go with me?”
“Oh.” I stepped back, as a strange feeling buoyed in my chest, making my limbs feel light as air. “That sounds fun.”
A grin split his face. Rosy shades of cream and pink and red flushed his cheeks. “Great. I’ll see you in your dorm lobby tomorrow night at seven.”
“Great. See you then.” I squinted at him as he waved and sauntered off down the cobblestone path. Maybe I shouldn’t lead the guy on, but he intrigued me. How did a girl who didn’t want to date wrangle two guys into asking her out?
Blinking like crazy, I walked back to my dorm to get ready for tonight. Keeping my options open didn’t count as dating, right? Crickets chirped in the empty quad. My only response.
~
A pillar of afternoon sun striped across the foot of my bed. I slipped my bookmark into the conjugation page of my French book and tiptoed to the window. Washes of feathery white smeared across the blue sky. I could almost hear the birds chirping. I found the lever at the bottom and cranked the creaky handle with my fingertips until the window jutted open.
Something banged behind me so loudly I jumped. My elbow hit the crank.
“Ow.” The sore spot smarted as I rubbed it.
“Sorry, I knocked.” Julia shrugged, hovering in the doorway.
“Come on in.” I waved her inside my dorm room. “I’ve been meaning to ask, is it okay if I bring Shanda to the meeting tonight? Since it’s off campus, I need a ride.”
“Since she’s undeclared, that should be fine.” Julia hovered between the butterfly chairs, eyelashes quivering. “Can we talk? I think you deserve an explanation about last week.”
A breeze wafted across my face, smelling sweet and crisp with a late-September chill. I pulled on my sweater. “Let’s sit.”
“I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. Especially at lunch like that, in front of all your friends.” Julia plunked down in the chair opposite me and clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m really sorry.”
“It was kind of weird.” I couldn’t see her eyes through the sandy fringe she’d let fall across her face. “I didn’t even know you had a sister, let alone that she knew my brother. Are you guys close?”
Silence shrouded the air—even the birds stopped chirping to hear what Julia said next.
“Maria and I were close until she died two years ago.” Tears rolled down that Miss America’s face, smudging her mascara, streaking her makeup.
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” I palmed the tissue box, nudging it against her knee. Any words of comfort I could fathom got stuck on the tip of my tongue. She wouldn’t glance up, yet I had to ask. “How did she die?”
She sniffed and dabbed her face. “It was here at Montrose. They found her in the river.”
“Ohmigosh!” The screech escaped before I had a chance to check it. Horrible images floated in my mind. “That’s so awful.”
She wailed into the Kleenex, blowing her nose with a loud honk. “I always thought James knew more than he let on. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m totally irrational sometimes.” She balled up her tissue, her pageant face completely gone now, her red nose splotchy, eyes puffy.
Tears welled up just looking at her, but a seething pulse drummed into my ears. “I don’t understand why James would know anything.” I wanted to scream. How could she accuse James of being involved? Could either one of us be rational here? Then a memory floated in to my consciousness. Didn’t Dad say something about James being so distraught over his girlfriend’s death that he jetted off to Europe? I’d always thought it was a cop out, but maybe there was more truth to Dad’s explanation than I’d imagined.
Julia yanked out more tissues, wiping off the streaks of black eye makeup. “They were dating at the time and some people said they were about to break up. Just rumors, of course. I wish I knew the truth, though.”
I gulped as a tear leaked out. She needed to know the truth. “All I know is that my Dad said James was upset that night because his girlfriend had just drowned. He was too upset to deal with it, so he took off to Europe. And we never heard from him again.” My eyes welled up again. For three years I wondered if James was still alive, but what if I’d never gotten that postcard? I couldn’t imagine Julia’s pain over losing her sister.
“Really?” She sniffled as another sob racked her shoulders. “According to Colleen and Monica, he was the last one to see her alive.”
“How would they know if they weren’t even there?” Her words felt like an accusation, as if she’d just slapped me in the face. They electrocuted my brain with a life of their own, lacing the air with resentment, bitterness, betrayal.
And then the room started to spin as the beginnings of a vision sucked me in.
Julia’s splotchy face backlit by afternoon sunlight faded into deep shadows, twisting and twirling around me.
My dorm room merged into a mishmash of colors swirling together in one fuzzy blur. Like it was supposed to be
