I held my breath, searching his face, willing him to make the first move. Silence fizzled in the space between us. His eyes softened, his lips parted, but he didn’t budge. Still as a marble statue.
Was he scared of me or for me? Or both? Had I imagined everything I thought he felt for me? When did I become this silly schoolgirl who wanted the one thing she couldn’t have—the guy standing right in front of me?
The silence stretched on forever until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I sucked in the last remnants of oxygen left between us. “Ever since the elevator, the only time you pay attention to me these days involves Will or some Nexis prank. Why is that?”
“Are you saying that you’re doing these things on purpose, just to get my attention?” He didn’t move an inch, but his expression crumpled.
“Are you kidding me? How desperate do you think I am?” I reared back, right into the stool. The metal contraption tipped, clanging to the linoleum.
“I’m sorry.” His hand wrapped around mine, forcing me close to him again. “I didn’t mean that.”
His touch burned up all my stupid questions like kindling, leaving a mess of tangled emotions. How he kissed me in the elevator, saved me from the fire, yet said we couldn’t be together.
“For someone who isn’t supposed to be with me for some stupid, made-up reason you sure find a lot of ways to be around me.” I squeezed his hand as hard as I could. So he could feel the pain I struggled with. “Like studying my weird visions in a science lab. Who does that?”
“Believe me, Lucy, the reason is real.” He squeezed back with his strong, painless grip until I relaxed my hold. “Your visions aren’t weird. They’re important tools that can be used for great good. Or great evil. Don’t you see why we need to know more about them, how they operate, so we can figure them out? Maybe then we could get a leg up on the Watchers. And Nexis, too.”
I ground my teeth together. One emotion finally won out, and it boiled deep down, tensing every muscle. “Did you ever think my visions weren’t meant to be shared? Maybe they’re meant just for me, and I shouldn’t have to tell you anything.”
“You didn’t tell me about them.” He dropped my hand and crossed his arms again. “You didn’t trust me, remember? Instead I had to find out by kissing you.”
Now I really wanted to pound on him.
Instead, I slapped my thighs and huffed out a hot breath. “You make it sound like a big mistake, like you never should’ve kissed me at all.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He edged toward me. “You should’ve told me. That’s all.”
“Right now, you’re not inspiring me to tell you all my secrets.” As soon as I had the full weight of his iceberg eyes, I let him have it. “In fact, this little stunt makes me wonder if I should go to Nexis willingly. At least then they wouldn’t keep torturing me like you are.”
With that, I turned on my heel and sprinted for the door, out of the lab.
“Wait, Lucy. What about Felicia’s gallery opening?” His deep voice called after me, higher and louder each time, but I couldn’t let myself look back. The tears sliced down my face, running into my nose, my mouth. I swiped at them with my jacket sleeve, but more saltwater replaced them in seconds. I couldn’t let him see me like this.
I punched open the lobby door, jogging down the steps, then across the quad. No way could I face any more classes today. Score one for Montrose, zero for Lucy. And I certainly felt like a zero.
~
White dust puffed up like smoke in the dark sky, shrouding the New York street in gray mist. I’d been at the chapel library all day, but I still couldn’t find anything on St. Lucia and the sacred stones. There’d been plenty of information about both subjects separately, but nothing about them together. Of course, Bryan interrupted my research to confirm that I’d be joining the Guardians for Felicia’s gallery opening tonight. So here I was, out in the city with my Guardians friends.
“C’mon, Lucy.” Bryan guided me out of the bakery haze, like my own personal seeing-eye dog, away from the 23rd Street subway station.
The crowd of faces blurred into an amalgam as I passed until they didn’t even look like faces any more. There were too many what-ifs swirling around in my brain. I wanted to find my brother now more than ever. But I still had a life to live, right?
Bryan leaned in and whispered in my ear. “I wanted to apologize about the other day in the bio lab. Can we just start over?”
His warm breath tickled my ear in the cold night air. “Okay. That sounds good.” I had bigger things to worry about than holding on to a stupid fight with a boy. Maybe I could even let him try to make amends.
On the sidewalks of Chelsea, the blur finally lifted, faces blaring into full focus. A guy yelled at me to buy a pretty watch, another thrust his bootlegged movies at me, while some guitarist crooned in front of an open case.
Around the corner, a line of people clogged up the sidewalk. Bryan squeezed my hand. “We made it.”
That small gesture and the tiny glimmer of hope on his face fizzled electricity up my arm. I squeezed back.
“I can’t see anything.” I arched on tiptoes, still barely taller than his eye level.
“Here we go, the Montgomery Gallery of Fine Art.” He put two hands on my waist and lifted me up onto a bench like I weighed five pounds. A swarm of butterflies buzzed in my stomach.
The wind picked up, and I rushed to smooth down my black tulle skirt. Good thing I wore leggings and boots tonight.
A pewter cursive sign was
