“It looks like James traded intel for a Guardian membership. He’s definitely working for us somewhere in Europe.” Cars whizzed past his puttering Toyota, but he didn’t even notice.
All my muscles tensed, even my throat clogged up. “Really? Is he safe?”
“I don’t know, Angel.” He reached across the gearshift and grabbed my hand. His rough fingers danced across my forehand, shooting firefly tingles up my arm.
Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the scratchy seat. In my mind, I pictured the golden-eyed angel who’d visit me in the hospital and I couldn’t help but mentally ask, “Is he safe?”
The answer lapped at the corners of my mind. For now.
“I’ve got some bad news,” Bryan lifted his hand, leaving mine cold. “It looks like your Guardian membership is on hold for now. At least until things die down. The whole Felicia thing threw them for a loop.”
“That’s fine.” I forced a smile at him, but his hand didn’t return.
“That’s not all.” He veered toward the Riverdale exit. “There’s been a lot going on since the church fire. Maybe we should make a pact, you know, to cool it for a while.”
His cold tone blasted shivers down my arms, banishing the fireflies. I rubbed my arms, but the numbness crept in. “You mean like some kind of distance pact? As in stay away from each other in public or something?”
“I mean no contact, at least until I figure out what Nexis and the Watchers are going to do next.” His jawline hardened as he pulled into the parking lot.
“Really?” I almost choked on the word. “If that’s what you want, then why are you picking me up at the airport?”
“So I could tell you in person.” A muscle in his jaw twitched, but he kept his eye on finding a parking spot.
How he could switch from gentle giant to cold robot in an instant, I’d never understand. Inside, all my muscles seized up, but I willed myself not to shut down. This time, I had to be the bigger person, the honest one. If only to show him I was ready for more.
“I don’t want to stay away from you.” I bit into my cheek, willing my voice not to wobble, the tears to stay at bay. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if something goes wrong?”
“Believe me, it’s the last thing I want to do. But it may be the only way to protect you right now.” He shifted the car into park and hopped out in one instantaneous motion. “Laura and Brooke are full Guardians. They know how to protect you.”
“That’s just perfect.” I fumbled with the door handle, unpacking my stiff legs from the car seat as if they were molded there. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to accept this strange alternate reality I’d walked back into. But his jaw was set, and he’d switched back in marble-mode. “I really hate this. And there’s no way I can change your mind?”
“Not this time. I can’t help but think Felicia turning on me and Colleen’s vendetta is more about me than about you.” His breath puffed out a blast of steam. “I hate it, too, but this is the best thing I can think of to keep you safe.”
He rolled my suitcase to the sidewalk, and we slowly fumbled our way down the cobblestones in the dark. Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. The suitcase clattered to the pavement behind us.
I squeezed his waist, holding on for dear life. “I’ll miss you.”
“Me, too.” He tilted my chin up until his eyes found mine. Fireflies swarmed again as he pressed his lips against my forehead. “More than you know.”
Too quickly he pulled away, turning his back on me and practically sprinting down the sidewalk. I stared after his loping shadow until he disappeared, feeling more alone than ever. All I wanted to do was find James and figure out my strange new powers. If I wasn’t ready to date anyone, why did this stupid “distance pact” hurt so much?
~
A string of endless gray November days followed in the wake of Bryan’s idiotic pact. Wind howled against the glass as I perched on my favorite windowsill, one of Mr. Harlixton’s recommended books open on my lap. Black and white type jumbled together in a blur of nothingness, my mind seesawing back and forth between Bryan and the drama awaiting me at home.
I couldn’t face him, especially if he wouldn’t even talk to me. So I avoided him, skipping chapel meetings, ignoring him at lunch, between classes. My own brand of punishment, as if some time apart would make him admit his real feelings for me. It worked too well, especially on me, until the one question I couldn’t answer blared through my mind like a foghorn. Why couldn’t we be together? Okay, yeah, I was moping. Just a bit.
Rays of sunshine streaked between the clouds, pinging drops of warmth on my face. I read the same sentence five times. Finally, I chucked the book onto my bed. It was pointless. Everything felt like it was piling up on me, a steady stream of boulders on my back until I couldn’t take one more ounce of pressure.
The door banged open and Shanda breezed into the dim room like a whirlwind, alive and alight with energy. “Lucy, get up and quit this moping around. You look like I feel.”
“Uh-oh, what happened?” I sucked in a breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Nothing much, I just caught Kevin making out with Monica. Same old, same old.” She threw her jacket on the nearest butterfly chair and rummaged through her closest. “I’m finally free … forever. So tonight we celebrate.”
My heart sank for the tough girl who might
