“You’re right,” the male said. “That’s fresh human. Plenty scared.”
“Told you so,” the female said.
“We could grind it up and make bread,” the male said. “You get to keep your boots.”
“Was there ever any doubt?”
“Do I have to go down there?”
“How else do you expect to get him out?” the female asked.
Seth knew the quilts were a flimsy hiding place. He decided it would be better to take the initiative rather than be discovered cowering.
“You could ask nicely,” Seth called in Jiganti.
There was no response for a moment.
“Who is down there?” the male voice called.
“A traveling shadow charmer,” Seth replied. “Just roaming around, looking for work.”
“Show yourself,” the male demanded.
Seth got out from under the quilts and walked to the foot of the stairs. He stared up at two huge creatures, humanoids with stout bodies and thick limbs, at least twice his height. Their countenances looked like somebody had sculpted ugly faces out of dough, and then someone else had come along and pulled them out of shape. They wore homespun clothes with work boots and had dirt-rimmed fingernails.
“You speak Jiganti?” the male asked.
“One of the best languages,” Seth said.
“You don’t have to lay it on so thick,” the male said. “But I’ll admit it is nice to hear Jiganti from a human. Proper accent and everything. Amazing that humans come to the home of the giants from all parts and don’t even bother learning how to say ‘hello’ or ‘thank you.’”
“It’s barbaric,” the female said. “Not to mention insulting.”
“It would be hard to ask for work if I couldn’t speak the language,” Seth said.
“Funny place to ask for work,” the male said. “In a hidden cellar under the barn.”
“Nobody was home,” Seth said. “It was getting dark.”
“Barn was locked,” the male said.
“Nothing is locked for a shadow charmer,” Seth replied.
“That might be reason enough to be rid of you,” the male said.
“I didn’t bother your home,” Seth said. “Didn’t damage or take anything.”
“If that’s true, it’s better than nothing,” the male said.
“See for yourself,” Seth said.
“I reckon you ate from the supplies in the cellar,” the male said.
“A little. Sorry for the imposition. Happy to pay you back. I’m Seth.”
“Bogdun,” the male said. “What work can a shadow charmer do?”
“Have you been haunted by the undead?” Seth asked. “Any phantoms in the vegetable garden?”
“We wouldn’t want ghosts troubling the zucchini,” the female said.
“Quackery,” Bogdun said. “What sort of payment are you after?”
“Just trying to make my way in the world,” Seth said. “A little food. Some shelter. Not being made into bread.”
“We don’t have any trouble with the undead,” Bogdun said, hefting a large pickax. “I don’t need a shadow charmer. But I always have an appetite for bread.”
“That would be a waste,” Seth said. “There aren’t many shadow charmers.”
“Special bread,” Bogdun said. “Rare ingredients.”
“You have quite a farm here,” Seth said. “Looks like you need help. You had slaves?”
“Tried human slaves,” Bogdun said. “Slow workers. It got too tempting.”
“We ate them,” the female said. “Pies, bread, muffins.”
“Fun while it lasted,” Bogdun said.
Seth thought of Hermo’s warning, astonished that he really might get eaten!
“Do I have to come down there and get you?” Bogdun asked. “I won’t be gentle. Save me the trouble. Come up. Quick and painless.”
“He is very polite,” the female said. “No need to be cruel.”
“Not if he comes up like a gentleman,” Bogdun said.
“You have zucchini,” Seth said. “You have this farm. Why eat me?”
“Do you know what goes great with zucchini?” the female asked.
“Pot roast?” Seth tried.
“Roast human,” she said, licking her lips. “Piping hot, on a stick.”
“We’re what folk call green ogres,” Bogdun said. “Some of our kind call us dull ogres. Because we work the land. But that doesn’t mean we don’t like a bit of meat in the porridge, so to speak.”
“Or you could let me go,” Seth said. “Do me that favor, and someday I can do one back.”
“I already did you a favor,” Bogdun said. “Gave you a warm night, a final meal. This is the last time I ask. You won’t like it if I come down there.”
Seth knew maybe he could back out of sight and try to shade walk. Blend into the shadows and attempt to slip around the ogre. Or he could try the invisibility glove. But the confines of the little room were snug, and the ogres seemed to smell him as easily as they could see him. With Bogdun coming for him and his wife at the top of the stairs, slipping by them wasn’t realistic.
“It’s time to do some haunting,” Seth said. “Get him, Reggie.”
As you command, Master, the dirtman said, charging up the stairs.
“Now what is this?” Bogdun asked, swinging his pickax and smashing the top third of Reggie to dust. A return stroke pulverized most of the rest, and what remained of the legs crumbled.
“What a strange little creature,” the female remarked. “Smelled exactly like dirt.”
“It’ll take more than that,” Bogdun said, striding toward the stairs, pickax held ready.
GET AWAY FROM MY MASTER! Reggie bellowed.
The ogre was lifted into the air and hurled across the room. A moment later the female left her feet and slammed against a large handcart. Seth hurried up the stairs in time to see Bogdun rocket out the door backwards to tumble in the dust. The female exited under her own power through a different doorway.
Roaring with rage, murder in his eyes, Bogdun came storming back inside, only to sail out the door again, bouncing and sliding farther in the dust this time. He sat up, glaring into the barn, but made no move to enter.
“Looks like your barn is haunted,” Seth called. “Too bad there isn’t a shadow charmer around!”
Bogdun stood and dusted himself off. He put his hands on his hips, then folded his arms, then put his hands back on his hips. “All right. What’ll it take to get that ghost out of my barn?”
Seth smiled. “I think we can reach an arrangement.”
