My heart skips a beat, but my brain tightens the reins. He hurt you once, already. Don’t let it happen again.
“You drove over two hours to apologize?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I don’t say anything.
“Aspen?” he asks, his voice low.
He grabs my hand, and the electric sensation shoots through my arm and into my heart. I turn to him and gently extract my hand from his. It’s not OK for him to touch me right now. But he did get me to face him, and he is a sight to behold. He’s wearing a dark purple polo shirt that makes his green eyes shine bright with a bluish hue, and his navy-blue cargo shorts hang on his waist, tempting me to run my fingers under the waistband. I now know what’s under those shorts, hanging proudly between his legs. I swallow.
“I have a lot to apologize for. I’m sorry for what I said after making love with you.”
My heart stops. He said making love.
He continues, “I’m sorry for being a jealous asshole at the auction.” He shifts his stance and steps closer. “I’m sorry I accused you of flirting when you were just networking.”
I narrow my eyes at him and take a drink of my beer.
“Aspen, I’m sorry for it all. I wish I could rewind to the night of the auction, but I can’t. I was so wrong, and everything about you is so right. I’m falling for you, and I got scared.” He shrugs and smiles.
I hold his gaze, and three heartbeats pass. He came all this way…
My body warms, but my nerves sense danger if I let this continue.
I turn back to the water. I have to stop looking at him, so I can stay strong. Then, my voice firm but soft, I reply, “OK. I accept your apology.” But I don’t face him. He gives me time, and he looks out at the water, scratching at a fleck of chipped paint on the rail. We stand there for a couple minutes as the silence settles between us, heavy and unsure.
When he realizes I’m not going to say more, he turns back to face me. “That’s it?” he asks, his voice gaining strength.
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Aspen, I said I’m sorry.”
“I heard you. I accepted your apology. Did you think it’d mean I’d jump back into bed with you? You hurt me. I gave myself to you, and you crushed me. I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
“Asp…” he starts, and I cut him off.
“So, why did you turn all Jekyll and Hyde on me?” I ask.
He bites his lip, and his eyes dart to the left.
“Ryker, what?”
“I don’t want to tell you,” he says and grimaces sheepishly. “I mean, I will, but I’m not proud of it.”
My gut twists. “What?”
The screeching cries of gulls overhead make him pause for a moment, and I fix my stare on him, waiting.
“I was mad at the auction. I was jealous. You know that. Well, my mom cornered me and started filling my head with shit about you. And I was pissed, so I listened.”
The color drains out of my face. “Your mother? What the hell?”
“She’s not a fan of yours. I’m sure you can guess why.”
“No, I can’t guess why!” I screech and then turn to see if anyone heard me. I lower my voice. “Why? Because of high school?”
“Yes.”
“For fuck’s sake, that wasn’t my fault! She’s the one who cheated on your dad!” Now I’m pissed myself. My head pounds, and my skin turns icy, despite the warm summer air.
The live music begins playing, making us raise our voices. Which is fine by me because I feel like shouting.
“I know! Aspen. It was totally fucked up and wrong of her. But, please understand, ever since I made all my money, people have been coming out of the woodwork asking me for it.”
“I DIDN’T!”
Damn him! I liked Ryker so much. I was letting him into my heart, and all of this ugly stuff is coming up, making me dizzy with regret.
“I know! Fuck. I’m sorry!” He looks at me and I step back. “I’m so very sorry,” he repeats.
“I’m gonna go. I’m sorry you drove all this way.” I turn to leave, and before he can grab my hand to stop me, I slip between the metal tables and chairs, making my way to the stairs. I run down them, and just as I get to the bottom, I hear him running after me.
25
Aspen
“Aspen, wait!”
I turn to stop. “What, Ryker? This is all just getting uglier. Your mother hates me! Jeezus! We don’t have a chance. And it’s just as well. Like I’ve said, I’m busy, and I’m about to be a whole lot busier starting in two days.” I start walking again and head into the hotel lobby toward the elevators. I push the button, and he comes and stands next to me, side to side, not saying anything. Now, he’s trying to make me laugh. Jekyll and Hyde.
I ignore him. The elevator doors open, and he glances at me.
I step inside. He steps inside, too.
He turns to me, but I don’t look him.
“Aspen,” he whispers when we’re inside the elevator. “I’m not letting you go again.” And images of making love with him flash into my mind. How right it felt. The beauty. The passion.
Ding! The elevator door opens, and I exit the elevator, with him keeping pace. I almost want to laugh, but I’m still confused, and I have no idea what I’m going to do.
I stop in front of my room and fumble with the key card as I try to get it in the slot. That’s when I notice my hands are trembling. He gently takes the card from my hands and says, “Here, let me help.” I look into his eyes, and they say even more than his words. He leans his forehead down to mine, and I can’t turn away. I don’t want to. There’s something between
