“You invited her there so you could make her watch you dance and make out with other girls. And that’s just a tip of the iceberg! Do you want me to elaborate?”
I held my hand up. “No, I get the point. I texted her, and went to her dorm…do you know where I can find her?”
She shook her head. “I don’t. Honestly, I’m proud of her. If you’re like that, she needs to stay far away from you.”
“I’m not like that! Anymore…I mean, I used to be.” I fumbled over my words, and Gabby gave me a pointed look.
She shrugged her small shoulders. “Clean up your act. Maybe she’ll come around.”
“She has to see me in class. I’ll just wait until then.”
“Wow, male thinking. Do not put her on the spot in class. She didn’t ask for you to pop into our class a few weeks late. Leave her alone. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready,” she said. For such a small, innocent girl, she held her own. I’d give her that.
Tyler sighed behind me and I decided it was time to leave. As I was walking out the door, I ran into a heaping pile of red hair. Autumn stared at me, wide-eyed. She was piling her hair on top of her head and was dressed in those yoga pants I’d grown to love seeing her in. She would never believe me if I told her, but girls would sell their souls to have a body like hers.
“Excuse me,” she said, staring at my chest, refusing to give me attention.
“Can we talk?”
She crossed her arms and clenched her teeth. I closed the door, wanting privacy. Maybe I could talk her down.
“I’m not sure what happened…but I can tell you it’ll never happen again, Autumn.”
“You’re right. I won’t put myself in that position again.”
Fuck.
“Please don’t say that. I fucked up. I’m sorry for whatever happened.”
“Okay,” she said simply.
“Okay, like you forgive me?”
“Okay like I couldn’t care less. I didn’t come here for this. I came here to get a degree and move on with my life,” she snapped.
“What happened to you to make you like this?”
Her eyes narrowed. “I could ask you the same.”
“And I would tell you!” I could feel the vain poking out of my neck as my frustration grew.
“I don’t care to know. I’m going inside now,” she said, pushing past me.
“Wait. What upset you so much? What can I do to fix it?” I asked, and she stopped shy of the door handle.
“You just reminded me of someone…” she said, not elaborating. With those few words, she said more than she ever had. I’d hurt her in the way she’d been hurt her whole life. Guilt crashed into me like a train.
“I can’t tell you I’m not them if you don’t let me,” I said.
“I’ve already told you. My past is in the past. I am not reliving it by talking about it. It’s there for a reason.”
“It’s not your past if you let it affect your decisions now,” I said, and she gave me a pointed look. I knew I had struck a nerve.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“Then tell me,” I demanded.
“You said that’s who you used to be,” she said. Frustrated, she ran her hand down her face.
“I did,” I agreed.
“People don’t change. That’s what I think. That’s the person you are, and it will happen again. But next time it will be worse,” she said, and that cut deep.
“I’ll prove it to you,” he said.
“I won’t hold my breath,” she said.
“Are we good?” I asked, studying her face.
“No, Liam. We’re not.”
I watched her walk inside and close the door behind her. I could run in after her and demand she talked to me, but the logical side of me knew she wasn’t that kind of girl. She didn’t want an alpha male demanding her to be with him. She didn’t need anyone, as a matter of fact. That left me, an asshole, trying to prove to her that I was good enough for her when I didn’t even believe it myself.
Eighteen
The week of Halloween was here, and honestly, it soured my mood. We never had the money to dress up, and the kids at my school were too afraid to come to my neighborhood to get candy. It was like any other day for me. My parents stayed out all night, and I would hide when they came home.
My life didn’t start out that bad. When I was little, my parents were almost normal. In fact, my mother went through spurts of normalcy. After her death, I decided she must have been bipolar. Some days she was mother of the year. Other days, she was that added with a side of sarcasm from me.
On her worst days, she was never as bad as my father. As we got older, he got worse. At one time, I was their princess. As I got older, I was an emotional and physical punching bag; the girl who accused his friend of touching her; the family burden that would never go away. So yeah, holidays depressed me. They reminded me that I’d never been normal, and it was unlikely that I ever would be.
I was sitting in my English class, waiting for the professor, and listening to chatter about everyone’s weekend plans. I felt the seat next to me give in a little. Without looking, I knew he was there. It’d been three weeks since the incident, and I’d never seen him like this. At first, he sat away from me, occasionally waving, or saying hello. He’d slowly moved back to his old seat, and he even made small talk. A pang of hurt shot through my body. It felt foreign to me, but I was
