I had arrived at Rhonda’s house ten minutes early and walked in ready to see her. We were going to our favorite Mexican restaurant. Normally, she was outside waiting for me, especially if we were going to dinner, but not this time. She was sitting in the kitchen, trying to read a paper. I didn’t know what it was and sure as hell wasn't going to nose my way around. She enjoyed her privacy and I respected that.
“You ready to go eat?”
“You bet,” she responded, and promptly put the paper down and walked to me.
“Have you talked to your mother?”
“No…”
“You probably should…”
“Cash said I needed to as well. Apparently, she is talking to everyone but me. I will call her later.”
She knew as well as I did that I avoided her calls like the plague. I didn't want to deal with the gossip about my father, or my brother. There are times I did answer her calls but it just depended on my mood and what I wanted to debate about. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother, but she loved the hoity-toity life that I didn't want anything to do with.
Not to mention, the reality of her asking my opinion about something and then completely ignoring my advice. The pattern was repetitive throughout our mother and son relationship. It was on repeat, over and over.
“Sooner rather than later, Wyatt.”
“Is something wrong?”
“That’s for her to tell you, not me.”
Typical answer from Rhonda.
One and a half hours and two margaritas later, we began really talking. My aunt only had a drink when we went out to eat, so I knew she was enjoying herself. I was elated. She deserved it.
She wouldn't allow alcohol in her house, stating it was for occasions only, or the devil would take the lead.
“So I hear your brother was in town a couple days ago.”
“True. Did he call you?”
“Yes, as he was leaving. In normal Cash style, he was making sure to avoid me without actually acting like a man about it.” She muttered what sounded like “weasel” and then took a sip of her drink.
“Sounds like my brother… We met at Kellye Joe’s. Talked a total of three minutes before he decided to meet some girls who were already on the dance floor. Didn’t actually have a conversation with him until last thing that night.”
“He grows older and stays the same maturity. Just like…”
“Yep.” We both knew what we were thinking. No need to say it out loud. My father.
“I’ve actually been thinking about something lately. I’m not getting any younger and I started to rethink through my life decisions. The majority I am proud of. I miss your uncle so much. I wish you had found that person to spend your life with.”
“Well, I haven't found the right person. And why would I want to get married and have a marriage like my parents; talk about a marriage of convenience. If I am not going to do it right, I’m not doing it. You and Kurt were an exception. That’s not always the case.”
“You know, Wyatt, sometimes you say things that sound exactly like me. I agree with you, it should be done right. But I also know the older I get, the lonelier I feel without my husband. I don't want that for you. Especially you. You have always been my closest confidant.” I watched as she stared off into space and took another sip of her margarita.
“I’ll tell you what, if I see a girl worth working for, I’ll do it. Maybe God will send her my way.”
“That’s all I need to hear, Wyatt.” She smiled pleased.
She held her margarita up in the air for a toast and I followed her lead.
I knew that moment would be a memory I would carry with me. I just hoped I could honestly stick to the words I spoke to the one person who meant more to me than anyone. She would be the last person I would ever want to let down.
After a couple hours together and a great Mexican meal, I drove my aunt home. She was always a sucker for old country music, and although I couldn't stand it, I always humored her. She knew it too. I had actually bought her a CD of Willie Nelson and put it in before I picked her up.
She mumbled to a song or two and tapped her foot and then turned it down. The high-energy buzz from her drinks had seemed to take a turn, making her more sensitive and free speaking.
“Wyatt, I really need to tell you something, although I personally would rather birth a cow.”
“Okay.” I responded.
“I have pancreatic cancer.” Instead of waiting for my questions or my response, she turned the music back up and then started tapping again to the song. “Always on my Mind” was one of her and Kurt’s favorites.
The hard lump in my throat began cutting off my air. I couldn't get a deep breath in and my heart was beating rapidly. How was I going to respond to this? This was the most influential person in my life and she was telling me she was dying?
No.
This was not going to happen.
Breigh had crossed my mind earlier when Rhonda spoke of loneliness and not wanting me to feel that way. During her reflection, Breigh was the first person I thought of…but why, when something or someone good came into my life, did something bad happen?
And why didn't she tell me earlier? We are so close and she couldn't trust me. I wanted to be there for her, like she had for me my entire life.
I fixed my eyes on the road but kept looking at her out the corner of my
