“Okay.”
“I can do that here shortly, but sit down for a few minutes. Can I get you anything?”
‘Yes, my aunt. I’m not ready for her to leave me.” He bowed his head and placed it in his hands. I touched his hands lightly, not letting go.
I didn't say anything but just let him leave his emotions there in that room. It was going to be a hard loss, which would take him a long time to heal from, if he ever did.
Some losses were just too great; you felt them for the rest of your life.
30
WYATT
Losing my aunt was the biggest loss of my life. When I lost my uncle, I was still fairly young and didn't realize the impact he had made on my life until he was gone. I knew the impact and influence Rhonda had made on me.
I had notified everyone I should have and followed through with all her arrangements, as she had requested. My aunt was very particular about what she wanted, and had made all her plans in advance. I was thankful for that.
She was to be cremated and she had documented those wishes word-for-word, down to the minute, including a memorial stone next to her husband. He had been cremated as well, but still had a memorial. It was for others rather than for themselves. They wanted to make sure there was a place for people to mourn, or still feel they were here with them.
I disagreed that it would make me feel like she was here with me. Her absence had been so great I hadn't been sleeping, eating, and barely going to work. I was working in a fog. I didn’t want to admit to the reality that I had lost her.
Luckily, Breigh had been the one to make all funeral arrangements and her will official. She was very good at her job, and took it very seriously.
Breigh had shown up at my house the following Sunday with a large brown envelope in her hands.
Her conversation with me was short, simply telling me she should be upset to hand me this, but that she was happy to be making sure Rhonda’s final wishes were going to be followed through with.
“When you read this, the will and the letter she wrote, I want you to read it, think on it, and read it again. Your aunt was a hardheaded and stubborn woman but loved you more than anything. Just like me.”
She kissed me on my cheek and gave me a fast hug.
“If you want to talk, I’m here. I love you.”
Then left just as fast as she arrived.
I wanted to be alone so I could process everything. The pain I would feel was not anything Breigh could help me with.
Only one person could…and she was no longer here.
The envelope sat on my kitchen table until 9:00 p.m. Sunday night. I had sat starring at it since the afternoon and hadn't taken my eyes off it. I made two hot toddies, a drink my aunt loved, but I frankly couldn’t stomach until tonight.
I finally got the nerve up to open the large envelope. I wasn't worried about what it was going to say, I just felt like after I opened this, it would be final.
I wasn't ready for that. But I had to admit I would never be ready for it.
A letter was the first thing, paper clipped to the stack of papers. I assumed it was her will but had no intention of looking at it before reading the letter. There wasn't anything I expected from her, what she had done for me all my life was enough for me. No amount of money or possessions would replace her not being here with me.
Wyatt,
I hate writing letters, as you know, but Breigh had advised me that it helps a lot of people with some closure. After much thought, I agreed with her. If I can give you peace about losing me, it is certainly something I want to do.
First, I want to tell you that I am ready. I have lived a wonderful life, and accomplished almost everything I wanted to do. Please don't feel that it wasn't my time, because God is the one who decides on that, and if He called me home, it was my time.
Besides my husband, you are the person I have loved more than life itself. You gave me so much happiness and joy. I tried to be tough but when we spent time together, I knew you knew the real me. I had always been one to put up a hard shell, an act, I like to think I had mastered it, but around you I could soften up.
The pleasure I had watching you grow, then spending summers with me, and finally moving close to me, made me a very happy woman. You far exceeded any expectations I had for you. You are a hard worker, you love hard, but most of all you know what things in life are worth living for. I like to think I had a part in that.
One thing I have learned in life is that when something good comes your way, you better snatch it up before someone else does. I hope you know exactly what I am talking about.
Please honor my wishes by following through with what I ask for in my will. I personally hate the damn things, but Kurt was adamant about them being kept up-to-date. He always said it was the way for our voices to be heard when we couldn’t talk any longer. I have to say I agree.
Please always know how much I love you, your friendship was priceless to me, and I can honestly say my life wouldn't have been as happy as it was if you weren't in it. You had become my best friend and I looked forward to every call, every meal with you,
