“When you hurt people I love, I can’t stay out of it. I love Breigh. Breigh loves Emma. We have been telling Emma how much you have changed, and then when you do stupid shit like this it looks like you played us all. And that will not happen. Am I clear?”
I finally stood up. “I swear to God, I will not hurt Emma. I have not done anything wrong. I was going to tell Emma about it, but wanted to wait until we were face-to-face so she could see I had no want for any other woman. This was a good thing I did… not a bad thing. Her kissing me, yeah that was bad, but I didn't plan on that.”
“You should have told her no. Have you ever used that word Cash? N-O.”
“Yes, I have used the word no. It caught me off guard too. I didn't respond the way I should have.”
“Emma saw it all.”
“She poured water on my head, threw a glass at me, and told me not to touch her. The anger in her eyes…”
He stood in front of me but didn’t say anything more.
“I’ve gotta get back to work.”
“Me too.”
“And if I were you, I would be calling Emma and telling her what you told me. She can’t handle…”
“You and Breigh say that, but Emma is the strongest woman I have ever met.”
“Not for this crap. Not for the man she loves and hasn't given up on. God only knows why!”
“I don’t know why either, I don't deserve it.”
“You said it, not me,” Wyatt said. He gave me a quick see ya wave and walked out.
I put my face in my hands, trying to begin to form words that were going to have to come to.
Begging wasn't beneath me. Not anymore.
20
EMMA
Cash: Emma, I have things to clear up about that night at Blue’s.
I swear on my life, it was NOT a DATE. I want to see you.
I have things to say…please let me say them.
My eyes blurred as I reread the text. Every time I had hope in Cash, this happened… and at this point I had to think of someone other than myself. I was done with games, and if Cash still wanted to play them, great, but not with me.
I might not have a happy marriage, but I had a baby who would be my happy and I wasn’t going to let anything take that from me. I had begun seeing him in my future and dreamed since then of our family, the life we could build. But then, once again, that didn't happen. I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me.
Cash still wasn’t aware of my pregnancy and I was thankful for that. With any luck, I would have our baby and figure out what to say to him when the time was right. And that was a big when.
The anger in my gut began to build and I began the text intending to be strong and determined in getting the point across.
Emma: Cash, Things are changed now. Some things can’t be taken back, and some lies are just too thick to be forgiven. It is time for us to call this what it is, and stop the hurt and pain. I fear my heart can’t handle any more. Please don’t continue to contact me. Since the minute I met you, I have been in love with you. I knew with every fiber of my being that you were wrong for me, but yet I couldn’t help myself. Now, it has to stop. Please respect that and leave me alone. I absolutely will not change my mind. Take care and I wish you the best.
CASH
Every part of my body was telling me to chase her, to show her how much I loved her, and how much I would not give up. I could count on one hand how many times I had cried, and this was one time I had broken down, realizing that it might be too late, Emma might be the greatest mistake of my life, one I could never have back.
I had gone to the gym and ran five miles then I worked weights until my body was completely exhausted. I still had no answers on what I should do.
After talking with my mother, venting to her on what I could do, what I should do, she said something that stuck with me.
“Emma is doing exactly what I should have done with your father. I should have told him to go to hell and meant it.”
“That isn’t helping, Mom.”
“But I also loved him… and I know you love her. I know Emma loves you. It was clear as day when she was here for that weekend. In fact, every time I see you and her I know she loves you. Emma is a very bright girl. She is everything I wished I was.”
I was going to strangle my mother if she kept on… Lord, help me.
“Cash… I love you, but you have a lot to prove to her. You have screwed up over and over, and she deserves more than that. Apologizing isn’t always good enough.”
“So what you are you saying? I can’t even get a chance to explain before her discarding me. One minute we are good, and the next she is pissed or telling me off.” I took a deep breath.
She gave me the look she used to give me when I acted like I didn’t know what I did when I was younger but knew damn well.
“Hear me out… maybe continue to text her, or email her, or hell even send her letters, but don't expect anything in return. Let her soak in how you feel. Show her you are not giving up, yet letting her take her time. She needs to see you are there and you aren't going anywhere.”
“She was pretty strong on how she worded the last text.
