Love always, Emma
I sent the text and then laid my phone down, pondering if I should have ripped the Band-Aid off and told him about our baby. I wanted to badly, but I didn't want him to stand at my door and tell me things just because he knew I wanted to hear them. That he was sorry, whatever excuse he had for that night at Blue’s, and then promise he would make it all right. We both needed more.
I closed my eyes, lying back on my couch, feeling relief from some of the stress I had felt. It was a start, and I hoped it would mean something to him. I didn’t want to think of my life with anyone else. But I needed him to think the same way. And not because of my pregnancy.
CASH
I read Emma’s text over and over, trying to understand what she had said, what she wanted me to take from it.
The look in her eyes that night at Blue’s was something I had never seen before. I hurt her badly. I wasn’t able to tell her what really happened, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her in a text. I needed her to see my eyes, and know I was speaking the truth. I was still unsure about a lot of things in my life, but Emma was not one of them. I loved her. I had never loved a woman before in my life and I knew one-hundred-percent that I loved her.
Suddenly everything came into focus. The bad things I had done to her… promising things and then disappearing. The bad I had done to Wyatt in our past…. I mean, shit, I slept with one of his girlfriends. I couldn't have cared in the least about the girl, but she was his… and I wanted to be like him.
The women from my past flashed over my mind like a PowerPoint and I had absolutely zero feelings about any of them. But then the brunette who walked into my life that one night when I was supposed to be meeting my brother hooked me. She spoke her mind; she was independent and strong. She had also been hurt by me…. like others. I knew without a doubt I would spend the rest of my life making up for it.
I sent her a bouquet of flowers to her work, hoping she’d see them and smile. I had work to do… and frankly she was the one thing I would work for until my dying breath. I ordered one simple line on her flowers, “I need to see you. I love you. Cash.”
I hoped she felt my intentions were true and I really would show her I wasn’t giving up.
18
CASH
“I’m so glad I could have a little time with both my boys,” Mom said, with a convincing smile on her face.
We were at Wyatt and Breigh’s house for a Sunday lunch. I had actually gone to church with them and it was far in contrast from what I remembered. I could do this every Sunday.
“Mom, you see us all the time now,” I said with an eye roll, as she was making a big deal about seeing us.
“That is true, I’m thankful for that. I missed too much, involved in things that really didn't matter while you two were growing up. Plus, if you recall, you didn’t want anything to do with me before all this.”
“True,” I said agreeing. She was right.
“I couldn’t even imagine missing all the steps Olivia makes. I want to be here for everything…” Wyatt said.
“I always knew you would make a good father. Some guys have the gene and some don’t. My father had it. He was so loving and caring, even my granddaddy had it.”
“I guess I missed that boat,” I said.
“Don’t be so sure, Cash. I see how you are with Olivia. Your father was a real disaster.” She laughed, taking a drink of her iced tea. “Seriously, look at some of the pictures, you can see it.”
“Well, you know how I feel about Dad,” Wyatt said.
I didn’t make any comments. I was feeling sympathetic for all the people he had hurt.
Mom must have sensed my hesitation.
“Cash, you okay?”
“I will be. I guess I am just really struggling thinking about all the things I bought into from Dad. I believed him when he told me things. Hell, I wanted to follow in his footsteps. I was such a fool and it makes me want to kill him.”
“He played his parts well. I’ve known him for over forty years and he fooled me plenty.”
“He’s a manipulator,” Wyatt spoke up.
“Then why did you know it, and I didn’t? Mom didn’t. Why did you know?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t know… I just saw him do dirty things. I heard his comments and I observed how he treated people. How he treated Mom. How he treated you compared to me. He loved to start conflict between us two rather than letting us get along.”
“I just wonder why I didn't see it. It was right in front of my face. Maybe if I would have dug in a little more or paid more attention, I would have seen what he was doing and prevented us from losing the company, from the people losing their jobs.”
Mom shook her head no. “What would you have done differently?”
“I don’t know… I
