I had my head where asses sat and the thought would surely make me ill later.
I made it out of the restroom after a few minutes and pulled myself together. The cold paper towel helped, and I soaked another one to hold in my hand for a few minutes as I made my appearance into the conference room.
Get it together, Emma!
I slid down into my leather chair and tried to tune back into what I had missed. I found myself almost slouching, not able to sit up straight showing any type of authority.
“Are you okay?” Mr. Thomas asked.
I nodded yes in response, although I wasn't sure that was the truth. I had hoped my face wasn’t reflecting what my insides were feeling.
He spoke up, luckily trying to put me out of my misery. I appreciated it but I didn't ever like to appear weak.
“Let us wrap it up, shall we?” He said looking irritated.
Elizabeth and Ron said a few more things, I couldn't tell you what they were, but then the president thanked them for the presentation and then left the room, leaving me with them.
“You don't look so good, Emma, you okay?” Elizabeth asked, trying to be sweet while trying not to point the finger at me for ending the presentation early.
I leaned back slightly in the chair and answered her in a hushed tone. “I will be, I think I just ate some bad cream cheese this morning.”
“I’ll leave the proposals for you to go over and then you can let Ron and I know if and when we have the okay. I am very excited working with you in this endeavor.”
“Thank you, and I will certainly let you know.” I took the proposal in my hand. “I will look it over and then speak with Mr. Thomas to see what his thoughts were.”
“I will keep my fingers crossed,” Elizabeth said in that chipper voice you certainly did not want to hear when you felt sick.
Gag. It was the equivalent of someone sticking their finger down my throat.
She walked out of the room with a pep in her step, like she just proposed a lunch rather than a million dollar marketing bid.
I waited until the room was clear and then laid my head on the cool glass desk. As soon as my head hit the table, I turned my cheek so I could feel the coolness. I was talking to myself, telling my stomach to calm down when the horrid feeling came again. The trash can, luckily close to me, allowing the evacuation.
The only thing I could think about was getting myself home, in bed, closing my eyes to ease my stomach.
This wasn’t how I had planned to spend my morning.
And I was never eating cream cheese again.
“Pregnant.”
“Excuse me? That’s not possible. I have been on the same pill for over a decade, never missed a cycle, never missed a dose.”
“It happens,” the doctor commented confidently.
“It is not supposed to happen. I take it at the exact time every single morning.”
“Nothing is one-hundred-percent effective.”
“But for ten years it was.” I was staring off into the distance, shocked at what she was telling me. This had to be a dream, an unsettling delirium.
“Emma, you are one-hundred-percent pregnant. In fact, you are six weeks.”
I knew exactly when it happened. The moment flashed fast forward in my mind, Cash and I were going crazy over each other as if our life depended on our touching each other. Not able to get enough of each other, not wanting it to end. It was one of the best nights of my life. Now a night I would know exactly when my baby was conceived.
“Dr. Lee, I drank alcohol several times in those weeks. I hope I didn't hurt my baby…” My hand fell to my stomach in worry.
“You’re fine, Emma, you had no way of knowing. This happens all the time. But absolutely no more drinking.”
“Not a problem. I want my baby to be healthy.”
“Is there a father you want me to add to your chart? I ask this because right now, I do not have an emergency contact and I do like to have that in case we need it on record.”
“There obviously is a father, but I’m not sure how I am going to deal with that yet. If you can put down Breigh Galloway, she’s my best friend.”
“Okay, I can do that. But I will say with the risk of sounding like a counselor, if able, a baby always is better with two parents. It is extremely hard on two people, much less one.”
“I just have some things to figure out. I will though.”
“I understand. And as your physician I will not bring it up again. My job is to make sure you and the baby are safe and healthy.”
I shook my head, feeling the breeze hitting me from wearing the gown that was open in the front.
“I will refer you to Dr. Green. He is the best obstetrician in town.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Dr. Lee handed me a list of things to look for, home remedies to help relieve them, things to avoid and samples of prenatal vitamins.
“Call me with any questions, and I will see you in four weeks.”
“Thank you.”
I held on to the papers and the box of samples like my life depended on it.
I smiled happy and then without asking for permission from myself, I began weeping.
The one man I love, I am having a child with him. And I had no idea on how or what to do. In every situation in my life, I knew what to do, but not with Cash.
17
EMMA
“Mom, seriously, I didn’t need you to cook all this food for me.” I surveyed the living room wooden coffee table with the little plates she had arranged
