I stood on the side of the building under the light at the entrance, waiting before deciding to go in. I would order one drink and when I was finished with that, if she wasn’t there I was leaving. Then I could say I legit when in.
See, I wasn't as old as I was thinking. Great thinking proving myself wrong, right?
As I walked over to the bar, I scanned the room predicting my path to my destination. The lights were dim, trying to set a mood I was resistant too.
Then I saw him.
With another woman.
Cash was kissing another woman as she held his face. Her touch clearly sent the message that this was not the first time. It was intimate and she was sure of herself. Her body language said all I needed to know and the look of his eyes on her. They had something…
I watched him as he kept his eyes on her walking away. He finally looked down, and pulled out his phone.
I turned to the bar, realizing I was there, standing in front of a stool that had been vacated for me. My feet were frozen to the floor by the imaginary super glue.
The lump in my throat was suffocating me and I felt like I couldn't get any oxygen.
I sat down for a few minutes, trying to compute what I had witnessed. That dirty-ass dog. I bought every word he had been saying…the sweet text, our nights together.
How many times was this that he had disappointed me at this point?
I could hear Breigh's words in my head, she warned me, she was right, and I let it happen. It was just as much my fault as it was his. And I couldn't argue with her.
She was right. I didn't like to tell anyone they were right. Ever.
When the bartender got to me, I ordered a shot of tequila with a lime, and tried to calm myself. I was getting angry with Jessica not being here, Cash for the piece of shit he was, and then myself.
My phone dinged and I checked immediately, hoping she was going to cancel. I could take this shot and leave, crawl into my bed, and hide for the rest of the night.
Cash: I miss you. I hope you got my text the other day.
If I weren't in a bar packed with people, my phone would have been airborne across the room, hitting the wall. I would get satisfaction as it shattered. Or possibly throwing it at his head. That would have felt terrific.
I was done. I sent a quick text to Jessica, telling her I was leaving. I took the shot that was just delivered, sucked on the lime, and stood up.
Screw this day.
After the shot of tequila, I felt a newfound bravery flowing through my veins.
I marched over to Cash and stood right in front of him.
He immediately smiled, “Emma! I just texted you.”
I didn’t respond. I looked into his joy-filled eyes, wishing I could inflict the pain he had just forced on me.
He had a glass of water sitting in front of him and I grabbed without hesitation.
Cash observed my every moment, trying to predict what I was about to do.
I poured the water over his head then threw the glass on the table. It shattered and suddenly we had an audience.
He stood up in rage. “Emma! What in the hell was that for?”
Instead of answering a question he should already know the answer to, I made one last statement before walking out.
“You bastard. You fooled me again!”
He reached for me and I pulled back.
“Don’t you ever touch me!”
The look in his green eyes said it all. He knew I was serious, that this was a no-go, and that he hadmessed up.
I turned to stomp out and heard him saying my name. I ignored him, feeling the immense squeezing on my heart. I was about to suffocate from the pain in my throat.
I was mad… furious…at my weak heart.
16
EMMA
The queasiness hit me in the middle of a conference meeting with my president and other executives. I was sitting beside the president, listening to the proposals Ron and Elizabeth were running through when the nausea hit me like a Mack truck.
I immediately repositioned in my chair and cleared my throat lightly, then taking a tiny sip of my water. I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. Maybe I was just getting hot from the stuffiness in the room. The air had been still all day today it seemed.
When that didn't resolve the matter, I excused myself and sped walked to almost a slow jog, bolting for the restroom. I had barely made it before my stomach revolted.
There was no keeping in the poison that was wreaking havoc on my belly.
The sounds must have been magnified as Donna, my admin, came into check on me instantaneously.
“Are you okay, Ms. Gray?” I heard her knock lightly on the bathroom door and then the paper towel machine being pulled and water running.
“Yeah, I think I am. I must have eaten something bad this morning. The cream cheese was a little warm, maybe that was what it was.” I had swallowed a bagel this morning without chewing, trying to prepare for the meeting. I normally was prepared but not last night. I had fallen asleep after crying and overslept.
“Here under the door, a wet paper towel. It always helps me.”
“Thank you.”
“Shall I tell Mr. Thomas and the executives in the meeting that you will be back or that you need to excuse yourself?”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll see.”
“Okay, Ms. Gray.
