Except for him.
23
EMMA
Three months later
Sometimes a person said something they wished they could take back. Although I knew Cash was in no way prepared to be the father to our baby, it didn't mean I hadn't hoped he would fight for me not knowing about the pregnancy. Fight for me, just me. The baby would just be a bonus.
Grammy had told me numerous times, along with my mother, that you couldn’t tell a person one thing but expect them to do another. I realized that. I had pushed him away, pulled him close, then resisted him again.
But in my core I wanted Cash, I just wanted him to be the man I knew he could be. He had it in him, and I believed he knew he did as well. I couldn't make him be that though, and my feeling as if he could never live up to his potential would only make things hard on us. I refused to have that in a relationship.
Tonight had been three months since I had seen him. Cash and Wyatt had been working on their relationship and I knew if Cash had known about the pregnancy any sooner that it would put Breigh and Wyatt smack in the middle of the shitshow.
Of course, in Breigh and Wyatt’s style, they stood by me after I told them I had asked Cash to not contact me again. They didn't understand why, since I had been so hell-bent on loving him and now that Cash had started becoming what I wanted, I had called it quits.
My favorite band, Roxe was playing their farewell tonight at Kelleye Joe’s and there was no way I wasn't going to attend. I had been following them my entire teenage years until now. The lead singer had decided to call it quits because he wanted to have his weekends with his family, I couldn't help to be a little jealous he recognized the value of that. I couldn't have been happier for them.
Ten minutes in I was already dancing, clearing my mind, pretending like I was sixteen again, without a care in the world. I knew I would be paying for it tomorrow with swollen ankles but it was worth it.
Everything had gone fairly smooth with my pregnancy so far, and the queasiness I had been feeling was disappearing. My appetite had started to pick up and I was thankful for that. I wanted my baby to be healthy. I had waited a long time to be a mother, even if the circumstances weren’t what I had expected.
The band played four songs straight without stopping and I followed their lead. After that lineup I had gone to take a restroom break and then sit with some water. I couldn't seem to get enough of either. My baby hump was getting out of control and the blouse I was wearing did little to disguise it.
Not that I was trying to hide anything. I was past that.
Breigh and Wyatt met me smiling, them just arriving and looking me up and down.
“Look at you.” Breigh smiled ear to ear and brought me in for a hug. Wyatt followed suit.
“It looks good on you, Emma,” he said sweetly. “I always thought Breigh was her most beautiful when she was pregnant.” He looked at her and she smiled.
“You would say that even if I wasn’t,” she smarted off.
“No comment.” He winked. “I’m going to get some drinks. I’ll be right back.”
“Wanna dance or sit for a while?”
“Let’s sit for a few and then dance. I don't want to miss anything with this being the last time Roxe is playing.”
“End of an era, huh?” Breigh sat, as we took a seat along the dance floor looking toward the stage.
“It really is. Sad really. But then I also think that maybe it is a sign of us being adults, living real lives, you know? It's not like we get out and see them like we used to.”
“Girl, we have been adults for a long time. Hell, you've been working, even through college. And me, I’m the mother hen now.”
“You’ve always been. Now you just have your own chicky.”
“Best thing I’ve done my entire life, other than marrying Wyatt.”
We both look over toward him getting us drinks at the bar.
My heart stopped when I saw the man standing next to him, helping. I should have known.
“Did you know he was coming?” I asked Breigh.
“Nope.”
I hadn’t seen him since the time he stood in my office, trying to compute what I was saying, that I needed him to leave me alone.
He was heartbroken just as much as I was, but I had to stand strong. I hoped I could tonight.
CASH
Walking over to the women with Wyatt by my side gave me a little confidence, but not as much as I needed. Somewhere my backbone had shriveled up and I loathed the thought of it. I used to walk with so much confidence but that hadn’t been there since all the crap with my father.
Holding a Coke and a water was anything but manly. At least with some alcohol I wouldn't be as nervous.
Man card has been removed. Stripped from me quite literally.
Emma locked eyes with me as soon as she saw me and didn't move once. I had done what she had asked, and stayed away from her, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I missed her terribly.
I placed her water on the table and my Coke beside it.
She stood up and slowly hugged me attempting to keep a distance after I hugged Breigh.
“Good to see you,” she said quietly.
She pulled back but I held on. “I’ve been thinking about you daily.” I released her and she stood beside Breigh. Emma didn't respond to me but her brown eyes didn't leave me either.
That would have to
