“I see.”
I looked down at my coffee cup, unsure that I was saying the right things to persuade him to give me his blessing.
“Sir, I have decided to be the man I know I can be. And I’m getting there. I don't want to live the life I had in my past. I want to be a married man, and I want to be married to Emma. I want to take care of her and our baby.”
“Don't take offense in my comment here, but Emma doesn't need you to take care of her. She knows how to do that herself.”
“And that is one of the things I love about her. Just one of a million. Her independence, her intelligence, I could go on and on.”
“So could I,” Mr. Gray said.
“I will not say yes or no, but I will say if Emma says yes, then I will one-hundred-percent support you both, the marriage, and your family. And I will give you my blessing.”
I took a deep breath in relief.
“I won’t let you down, sir. Or Emma.”
“Although I maybe shouldn’t believe you, I do.”
“Do you mind if I ask why?” I said it without thinking, and wished I could take it back after it was in the air.
“Have you never had anyone tell you that they believe in you before?”
“No.”
“That’s a damn shame, Cash. Emma is a forgiver, and a person who loves with all her heart. Don’t make her forgive you again…and let me just be clear, I don't forgive when someone hurts my daughter, but now you will be hurting my grandbaby too.”
“You won’t have to forgive me for anything.”
“That is just what I needed to hear.”
29
EMMA
“I love this idea. I wanted Cash to be a part of getting ready for the baby,” I said excitedly.
Instead of the normal baby shower party with women only, we did a family event. My one request was fried chicken, and lots of it. It was my biggest craving right now, other than pickles and ice cream but I promised only to eat that in private. Apparently it disgusts people. Who knew?
Cash sat beside me handing me gifts to open, with Breigh on my other side noting what was gifted and by whom.
I had planned on buying whatever we needed but Breigh and my mother insisted that we have a baby shower. It was part of the fun, getting different things that parents swore by.
The main things we needed were already purchased by my mother and Cash’s: the baby swing, the crib, the carrier, and stroller. I didn’t know if they were more excited about us becoming parents or them becoming grandparents.
Cash and I had been spending more nights together than not. We talked a lot before going to bed at night talking about our baby, the things we were excited to see, and then the things we are scared about. Me being that I’d screw it all up, that our baby would need something and I wouldn’t know what. Failure. Failure scared me.
For him, being like his father. He didn't want to do anything to ever make our child feel like his father made him feel, or Wyatt, for that matter. He taught us what we didn't want to carry on to our own children.
The next present was passed to us and I opened it and laughed. Cash looked at it like he didn't have a clue what it was supposed to be for.
Breigh laughed, “Wyatt had that exact expression on his face when he saw a breast pump.”
“It’s true,” he chimed in.
“As long as I don't have to do it, I’m good,” Cash said with uncertainty.
“No, honey, you won’t have to use it.”
I continued rubbing my belly and loving the movement today. It was as if the baby knew we were all here for it.
Actually a boy. Cash didn't know yet, but I did. I found out at my five-month appointment and have kept it to myself, well other than my mother and Breigh. They were sworn to secrecy. Everything we requested was gender neutral. I felt like we should know first.
I planned to tell him tonight. I was excited and nervous at the same time.
Cash had put the crib together in my spare room where I had begun sitting. My father had brought over the rocking chair my mother used when she had me and my sister, and my grandmother had with her children. It was beautiful wood that I wished had a voice. If it did, I would love to hear how many children it rocked and calmed. How many children it soothed, as well as with the parents who rocked their babies. It warmed my heart thinking of it.
We saved Grammy’s present for the last, a crocheted blanket in beautiful pastel colors. Tears flowed from all of us, so blessed to have a piece of her work. A part of her that would be with us forever.
CASH
“Cash, can you bring me the chocolate tonight, with a side of pickles, instead of vanilla?”
“Yes, baby.”
I would be so glad when this part of her pregnancy was over. I had to hold my breath half the time when she was eating the different things she was eating. I only hoped the baby didn't crave this crap.
“Your face was speechless today with that breast pump.” She laughed at me, then took a big spoonful of her ice cream.
“Ha. Ha.” Everyone was amused at the party today.
I got onto my side of the bed and propped myself up next to her.
“Tomorrow I want to finish the rest of the nursery. I figured I could hang the picture of the highland cow in the middle, above the rocker of your mom’s.”
“Love that idea. I also want to get
