He may have been my father by blood but that is where it ended.
I guessed I was better knowing what the devil looked like rather than being unsure, so he couldn't sneak up on me.
It felt good to feel that maybe today I won.
31
CASH
Emma’s due date was anytime now, and I was a nervous wreck.
Today, I would be standing with a group of fellow new graduates from the Williamson County Police Academy, knowing that my life was about to start a new journey. I should be nervous about my career, but I wasn’t.
What I was nervous about was making sure I didn't screw up the relationship with Emma or screwing up being a father. I felt like one wrong move could take it all from me, and I had worked so hard to get where we were now.
After the ceremony, I had planned to propose to my future wife. I was one-hundred-percent sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
My mother, Breigh, Wyatt, Olivia, and of course Emma were supposed to be here today. I hoped I could make them proud. Hell, I hoped I could make myself proud.
I had always looked up to my little brother, and yes I see the irony in that. Making my new career choice was easy, as there was a part of me that wanted to follow in his footsteps. Now, I wanted to follow in his footsteps not only as a career, but as a man, husband, and father. I hoped I could be half as good as he was.
I shook my head to get myself back into focus, straightening my tie in the mirror, in the room with all the fellow cadets. We were all happy we had made it through the academy, although it did break us down in some ways. It was all welcome for me. All the breaking down of myself was what made me what I was today.
The sergeant called us to attention and we all stood in a perfect line, still as a statue listening to his last words of advice.
“For many of you men and women, this was a small step to where you are going to go in your career, but I want you to remember you have been through the hardest. You have proved your willingness to serve your county, to protect, and defend. When you face tough days ahead, remember you worked for this; you earned this. God’s speed.”
“Yes, Sergeant,” we all said in unison.
“File out.”
I stood in line just like I had throughout the six months and knew I was ready to put my training to work.
EMMA
I was so proud of Cash standing there in a sea of black. I picked him out instantly, his striking good looks and his posture. He was gorgeous. I knew it was an emotional day for him, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
All the family and friends were sitting in dark chairs that were perfectly spaced for their cadets. Everyone has happy, dressed in their finest, ready to see the accomplishment of their loved ones.
The ceremony began with the speech from the captain of the police force, speaking of the oath these officers would be taking. The risks and the duty. He also spoke of the responsibly of the families accepting of their spouses’ duties, the stress it entails but the honor in the same way.
The captain closed with a prayer, asking for protection over all the men in service and to be with them, blanket them in safety and wisdom.
After raising my head from prayer, I smiled looking at Cash, thinking about how excited I was for this journey for him and for us, our family.
Watching him in the uniform and his hand held at a salute, I was sure he was going to be an amazing officer.
Breigh must have noticed my excitement. “Doesn't he look great out there?”
I swallowed heard. “He sure does.”
“I don’t know if you realize how hard the academy is. Wyatt said Cash was better than he was at a lot of the different things.”
“Cash was taking it really seriously. I wish I could have been there for him more.”
She reached for my hand to hold it, knowing what I meant. The up and downs, the challenges that we have had. The misunderstandings that could have been prevented.
I felt hot, and fanned myself for a few minutes. I had worn a new maternity dress I had bought for the special occasion, and it was smothering me in the heat. I was determined to look good for the day Cash had worked so hard for.
The screams erupted and all the hats were thrown in the air. Whistles and applause filled the air almost vibrating the ground.
I tried to stand to give them an ovation, but my legs buckled under me and I fell, unable to catch myself.
“Emma!” I heard Breigh’s voice and she immediately came to my aid, on her knees trying to assess the situation.
“I’m okay.” I felt rattled, trying to figure out what had happened, if I was too hot, or what could be wrong.
I tried to sit up, but wasn’t able to.
Wyatt’s mother took Olivia’s hand and walked her away from what was happening.
“Can you get up?” Breigh asked. Wyatt had seen what was going on now, and was trying to see what he could do too.
“I can’t,” I responded. This can’t be happening, not today. Not on his graduation day. My baby, what if my baby is not okay?
Breigh was looking me up and down and I rested my hand on my belly, hoping the baby would feel my presence, my comfort.
“Wyatt…” He followed her eyes and I knew then, something was wrong.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
“What? What, Breigh?” I started to cry, knowing she was seeing something I couldn’t.
She leaned into me. “Everything is going to be okay. “ She pushed my hair out of my face. She had always been a mother hen, and right
