“You found out it was dementia,” I finished for him.
Lukas nodded. “Yeah.”
I unbuckled my seatbelt at a red light so I could move into the middle seat. I snuggled in close and didn’t let go of his hand. “Lukas?”
“Yes?”
“I know you’ve been carrying this by yourself for a long time. But I want you to know you don’t have to anymore. I’m here for you. And for your mother. Whatever you need. Okay?”
He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on my head. “Thank you, Kayla.”
Chapter 33
Lukas
We arrived at the facility around two in the morning. The cab driver drove off as soon as our feet hit the asphalt, and it started raining as we made our way up to the front doors. Kayla held my hand and I was surprised by how I felt supported by her, not pitied.
A huge reason why I never liked to talk to people about my mother was because of the way they would look at me. I never wanted people to feel sorry for me. But Kayla didn’t look at me that way. She looked at me like she understood, like she wished things were different, and like she was determined to help. She looked at me like she loved me.
As soon as I opened the front doors to the facility, I heard my mother screaming. It was shrill and furious, and it instantly made my shoulders bunch up with tension.
Kayla squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. If I was her, I’d be angry too.”
Miraculously, her words helped me relax.
The night nurse working the desk knew who I was immediately. She bustled out from behind the desk with urgency in her steps and motioned for us to follow. As we made our way down the hall to my mother’s suite, she gave me an update.
“Your mother had a really good day today, Mr. Holt,” the nurse explained. She had shocking red hair and wore black scrubs with white cats all over them. “She was quite lucid and came to movie night, where the group watched that Halloween Charlie Brown movie. What’s the name of it?” She looked over her shoulder at me.
I shrugged. “Beats me.”
Kayla chimed in. “The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown?”
“Yes, that’s the one.” The nurse nodded. “After the movie, everyone started getting ready to turn in for the night but your mother insisted on watching it again. We didn’t realize that she’d had an episode, you see. She couldn’t remember watching it in the first place. She felt ripped off, which made her furious, so we let her watch it again in her room. I’m afraid the cycle has repeated itself. She’s furious, Mr. Holt. Nothing any of the nurses are doing is calming her down. Our last resort would be a sedative but there’s the notation on your file not to—”
“No,” I said firmly. “No sedative.”
The nurse nodded. “Yes, sir.”
We arrived outside my mother’s door. The furious yelling and screaming was louder here, and I knew it would be so much worse when the door opened. I glanced down at Kayla. “Are you sure you want to be here for this? I understand if you want to wait at the front desk.”
“Lukas,” she said firmly, “nothing is going to scare me away, okay? I’m here for you. And your mother. Let’s see if we can help.”
Damn. This girl was magic. Absolute magic.
“Okay,” I said, feeling a little more confident. I nodded for the nurse that we were ready to go in.
As soon as the door swung open, my mother’s shrieks reached an all-time high.
She was standing in front of the window in her night dress. It was lilac colored and covered in bumblebees and flowers. The hemline was finished with lace. Her feet were bare, and her hair, permed a couple of weeks ago, was a wild mess. She looked around frantically until her eyes landed on me.
“You!” She pointed an accusing finger at me. “You tell them to get their act together! Tell them they can’t treat me this way! Tell them I’m your wife and you’re going to sue them for trying to keep me here!”
Wife. When my mother’s episodes got really bad, she always thought I was my father, the damn bastard.
“David!” my mother shrieked. “Tell them!”
I felt like a fool standing in the doorway not knowing a damn thing to say. My heart hammered away in my chest as my mother refused and resisted the aid from the nurses who were trying to see her safely back to her bed. Kayla’s hand still held mine, her grip tight as a vise, and I didn’t dare look over at her.
One of the nurses spoke in gentle tones. “Mrs. Holt, that’s not your husband. That’s your son, Lukas. He heard you were having a hard night and he wanted to come see you.”
My mother shot furious looks at the nurses. “Son? I don’t have a son. David, tell them we don’t have a son! Why am I here? Take me home. I want to go home.”
My throat tightened.
My mother’s gaze slid to Kayla. “And who’s this little tart?”
“Mom,” I said sharply. But it was no use. She didn’t see me as her son.
Kayla cleared her throat. “Hi, Mrs. Holt. I’m Kayla. We used to live near each other in the co-op apartments. I was that silly girl who was always knocking on your door asking if Lukas wanted to come outside and play kick the can with me and Lisa and the other neighborhood kids. You liked when I showed up because you always wanted a reason to kick Lukas off his computer.
