Kayla’s words were spoken warmly, like from an old friend. She had the presence of mind to keep her cool and her kindness in the face of what always made me freeze.
My mother blinked at Kayla.
Kayla gestured at the chairs in the room. “Do you mind if we come in and sit with you for a little while?”
My mother looked at the chairs and back at us. “I think that would be fine.”
I wasn’t sure how Kayla had so effortlessly diffused the tense situation, but she had. She guided me by the hand into my mother’s room and the nurses slipped past us. They told me to come get them if we needed anything, but with Kayla by my side, I doubted we would.
We took our seats.
Kayla sat on the end of my mother’s bed. “It’s been a really long time since we last saw each other, Mrs. Holt.”
“Call me Ally,” my mother said. “I always used to ask you to call me Ally. You were the girl with the pigtails and the skinned knees.”
Kayla grinned. “That was me, yes.”
“Your mother gave us apple pies on Sundays.”
“Yes, she did.” Kayla nodded. “I always thought Lukas ate them all before he brought them home to you. I’m glad he resisted and shared.”
My mother actually smiled. “Yes, he was always a good boy. He’s been taking care of me for as long as I can remember. Where is he, Kayla? Where is my son?”
Her words hit me like a freight train.
Kayla leaned closer to my mother and held out her hands. My mother reached for her and let Kayla wrap her hands around her own. Kayla ran her fingers over my mother’s knuckles.
“Ally?” Kayla started. I could tell she was struggling to find the right words. “A lot has changed since we lived in those apartments. I have my own apartment now. I have a good job doing something I love. And so does Lukas. He’s grown up to be a really good man. You should be proud.”
My mother’s eyes shone with tears. “He was always such a good boy. Always trying to take care of me.”
“Well, he’s still taking care of you,” Kayla said. “He comes to visit you here all the time. I know it’s hard to remember. I forget things too. One day bleeds into the other, you know? But it’s important you know that he comes here all the time, and when he’s not here, he’s thinking of you. And you know what else?”
My mother sat in rapture listening to Kayla talk about me. Meanwhile, I stood by, heart hammering in my chest, hating this disease that made it so my mother didn’t see me even though I was right there, and loving the girl who was saving us both a little bit of pain by sharing her kindness. The storm raged inside me.
“What?” my mother breathed.
“He helps strangers, too. He volunteers a lot of his time to help people in need. And well, he helps me too. I was very lonely before your son and I started growing close again. Now I feel better. I feel happy. Because of Lukas.”
My mother smiled. “Lukas.”
“Mom?” I asked.
Her eyes slid up to me. “Our son is a good boy, David. Did you hear?”
Kayla licked her lips and averted her gaze.
I nodded. “Yes, I heard.”
Sometimes, it wasn’t worth trying to correct her. Sometimes, it was best to roll with it and pray like hell the next time I came to see her she’d know who I was.
“Lukas and I went trick or treating with some other kids tonight,” Kayla said. When my mother’s eyes lit up, Kayla told her all about our evening, and she painted the night like I was a kid again so as not to confuse my mother. At first, it stung a bit, but as I sat and listened, I realized that even though she was remembering the me from twenty years ago, she was still remembering me. And that was a treasure.
At the end of the night, my mother no longer wanted to watch her Charlie Brown movie. She let us help her into bed, and once she was all tucked in, I leaned over her and kissed her forehead.
“Goodnight,” I whispered.
My mother closed her eyes. “Goodnight, David. See you in the morning.”
Kayla and I slipped out into the hall. Neither of us said a word as I leaned against my mother’s closed door. Kayla sniffled.
I looked down at her and found tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Please don’t cry,” I whispered.
She wiped her tears away with frustration and shook her head. “I’m sorry. This isn’t fair of me. I just… I didn’t know, Lukas. I truly didn’t know that you were dealing with this all this time. I wish you’d told me.”
“Sometimes, it’s nice to pretend this part of my life doesn’t exist,” I said. “It might sound cruel but it’s true. Now you know. The cat’s out of the bag. It’s not like this most of the time, but when it is…” I trailed off, unable to find the words to describe the hurt and the pain this caused me. To be forgotten by your own mother was a cruel fate that I wished on no one.
Kayla wiped the last of her tears away.
“We should go,” I said. I didn’t want to be there anymore.
Chapter 34
Kayla
I turned on Lukas’ shower and held my hand under the water until it was hot. Steam rose in billows in the shower stall that reminded me of the fog on the campus grounds earlier that evening.
Halloween town felt like it had happened such a long time ago. All the events of the evening had all muddled together, leaving both of us reeling in the aftermath of coming face to face with Ally’s terrible disease.
Lukas hadn’t said a word since we got in the taxi and rode back to his place. I didn’t push him. If our roles
