Sometimes, the best way to do that was to help them do the little things that seemed like so much effort when they were drowning.
So once the water was hot, I started peeling his Halloween costume off him.
Lukas let me. He stood still, eyes cast down to the floor, his mind probably playing a reel of memories where his mother knew him as her son, and I stripped his vest off. His shirt came next, followed by the sash, plastic sword, boots, and balloon pirate pants. When he was down to his boxers, I turned him around to face the spray of water. I fetched a face cloth from under his bathroom cabinets, got it wet, and gently began wiping the makeup from his face.
He muttered a hollow thank you.
I ran the cloth over his eyelids. He kept his eyes closed in the wake of the cloth and I went to the tips of my toes to kiss his jaw, cheeks, and chin. I hoped he understood my silent way of telling him I loved him.
Once his makeup was wiped away, I stripped him out of his boxers and guided him into the shower. Lukas didn’t protest, but he didn’t start washing himself either, so I discarded my costume as well and joined him under the hot stream of water.
It felt good standing there naked under the water. I pulled him in close and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hesitated for a brief moment before engulfing me in an embrace and bowing his head so his cheek rested against mine.
I turned my face to his and kissed him. He kissed me back, slow and gentle, and I turned him around so he was under the water. It ran down the sides of his face and settled in the corners of our mouths as we kissed.
When we broke apart, I took his hand and pumped a dollop of shampoo into his palm. I told him to massage his scalp, and while he did that, I washed his body. The whole shower smelled like cedar and oranges.
When I was finished, we stayed in the hot water and kissed. His body felt good against mine, but not in the way it had felt before. The lust wasn’t there like it used to be. Instead, I felt close to him. Painfully close. Each kiss left me wanting more of him—more of his heart, soul, and spirit. He poured more of himself into me as he backed me up against the glass shower wall.
I almost said it when we broke apart. I almost muttered those three little words to him in that moment. I knew I loved him. But this hardly seemed like the right time. He was hurting deeply. I could see it in the permanent furrow in his brow and the depths of his eyes that the pain he felt was deep and sharp. I could tell he needed healing, not promises of love that he might not be able to return in his state.
I turned off the water. Lukas let me towel him dry before I dried off too. I tied my wet hair in a tight knot on top of my head and followed him into the bedroom, where he collapsed onto the bed with a tired sigh. I pulled the blankets up over him and kissed him.
He caught my wrist when I turned away. “Stay.”
I ran my fingers through his wet hair. “You need to sleep.”
“And I will,” he said. “But please stay. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
He rolled over and I climbed into bed beside him. I had barely fluffed my pillow when he caught me for a kiss, his hand cupping my cheek, his other hand reaching down to grip my thigh and pull my leg up to hook it over his hip.
I pressed in against him and reached down to stroke his cock. Lukas’ breath hitched in his throat and his pulse fluttered against my fingertips as I ran a hand along his neck. I worked him over slowly as our kisses deepened and our bodies began to take over. I rolled my hips, desperate to be touched, and Lukas responded by rolling over and pinning me beneath him.
In the dark bedroom, I could just make out his eyes. He watched me for a moment as I lay beneath him. For a moment, I thought he was going to say something but he descended on me for kisses instead. He dropped his hips. His cock rubbed against me and I moaned softly. A plea for more.
Lukas worked his way down the length of my body and got comfortable between my thighs. I watched as he licked and tasted me. He gripped my thighs as I reached my hands over my head and clung to his headboard. A rumbling sound of satisfaction rippled through him as he suckled and teased until my head buzzed with euphoria after my first release.
He crawled back up and over, reaching across to the nightstand where he retrieved a condom. I watched him roll it on and spread my legs for him. He went to his knees, pushed my legs back, and slid inside me. I gasped.
Lukas bowed over me and went to his elbows. He rolled his hips, his body grinding against mine, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I used my heels against his buttocks to guide him deeper. He groaned against the side of my neck as he worshiped me with kisses, and as I grew breathless beneath him, he stole kisses.
The sex was nothing like the other times we’d been together. This was slow and sensual, intimate and steady.
We were making love.
I clung to his shoulders. My nails pressed into his skin and I pressed my head
