Though from the adorable little squeaks coming from the box, the babies weren’t sleeping too well and were likely hungry.
I scrambled off, thankful that Joshua’s back was to me. Had he seen me sleeping on Macon like that? Again? This was the second time I had woken up clinging to Macon as if he were the last piece of chocolate in the world. And we hadn’t even had sex. Yet.
I didn’t know why I added that word. Maybe because I wanted him?
No, I couldn’t want him. Because if I did, we’d only end up hurting each other in the end. I had too many responsibilities, too many fears to want him. And yet, I knew I did.
I didn’t have time to worry about my feelings or needs because my son and five little furry lives needed me. All of me.
“How’s mama cat doing?” Macon asked from behind me, and I nearly fell over, not realizing he was awake. I should have. I should have noticed that he was moving, the heat of him behind me, but I had been doing my best to ignore it. Just like I had been doing my best to ignore a lot of things when it came to Macon.
“She’s awake, and the babies are eating,” Joshua said, his voice hoarse as he rubbed his eyes. “They make really cute sounds when they’re eating.” He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled that sleepy, dreamy smile that he got when he first woke up. “Did I make those sounds when I ate?” Joshua asked, and I held back a groan. My son was so inquisitive and always asked whatever was on his mind. Even if it wasn’t the best question for a six-year-old.
“You still make gobbling noises when you eat your oatmeal in the morning,” I told him with a straight face. I just hoped he took the bait and didn’t ask me about where babies came from or something.
“I do like oatmeal.” Joshua started snorting like a pig, and I held back a laugh.
Macon knelt by the box as he checked on the mama cat and then made sure all the babies were eating okay. “She has some water, but we’re going to make sure she has whatever she needs since we don’t have a lot of food and litter here. I’ll take her and the family into the office today.”
“That sounds like a great plan,” I said, wondering exactly how I’d found myself in this position.
“Are they going to come back?” Joshua asked.
“We don’t know what’s going to happen,” I answered before Macon had to. Joshua looked up at me, and I did my best to keep my stern mom face on, though not my angry mom face. “Joshua, you know that these babies need someone to take care of them. And we’re not home all the time. It’s not safe for them to be here.”
“I don’t want them to go away. I already want to name them. I want them to be mine.”
“Buddy, you know we can’t have five cats.” I wasn’t even sure we could handle one, considering I could barely keep up with our lives.
“You’re going to split them up? What if they miss their brothers and sisters?”
My heart broke at his words. But thankfully, Macon spoke next, because I had no idea what to say to fix this.
“They’ll remember them just like all other siblings do. I don’t live in the same house as Nate or any of the other Bradys. But I have them in my mind. And in my heart. Just like these kittens will.”
“You get to see them. And eat with them. And play with them. But they won’t have that choice if you split them up.”
“Sometimes, there are playdates for animals,” Macon said, and I couldn’t help but stare in wonder as he spoke to my son. It was as if we were a family sitting here.
I had to squash this feeling within me, push it away. It wouldn’t be safe to rely on this. I might like it now, or at least like the idea of it, I didn’t know what exactly was happening between Macon and me. But I knew I had to be careful. And not just for me. Also for my son.
“Okay, boys, we need to get ready for the day.” I blushed as I realized what I’d said, completely ignoring what I had just thought to myself about keeping things at a distance.
Macon just winked at me and grinned. “We do need to get ready for the day. I have to head home, shower, and get changed.”
I swallowed hard. “Do you have scrubs in your car? You can use the shower here. That way, you don’t have to move the cats more than once.” I hadn’t even realized I’d said the words until he met my gaze, his eyes going a little dark. Crap. I was not doing well with this distance thing.
“I do. And as long as you’re okay with that, I don’t mind showering here.”
Oh, good, he was going to be naked in my house. And soapy. And washing himself. And…touching himself.
And that was enough of that train of thought. Especially when Macon was giving me a look that said he knew exactly where my thoughts had gone.
“Can he use my Avengers soap?” Joshua asked, nearly bouncing on his butt.
“I think he may need adult soap, unless he wants to use your Avengers soap, baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” Joshua said again, and I held back a sigh. No, my son was not a baby anymore. But sometimes I wished I could still hold him in my hands like I could with the kittens currently cuddling into their mom’s side.
“Let’s get ready for the day. Because you need to go to school, and I am already running late. Again.”
Macon frowned and looked down at his watch. “I can drop him off,” he said.
I looked up
