“It is. I know. I need to think.”
“Okay. Think. I’m going to head home and have a drink. You need to figure out what the fuck you’re going to do. Because what you’re doing right now? It’s not good.”
“I know,” I said, feeling defeated.
“Do you?” he asked pointedly and then left me alone.
I didn’t even want to be here. I had just shown up because it was almost routine now. And because I needed to think about what I was going to do when it came to Dakota.
Jesus. I had no idea what to do when it came to her.
I stuffed everything into my bag and was near my car when my phone buzzed. I looked down at it and answered right away, my heart in my throat. “Dakota? What’s wrong?”
“Why is that the first thing you ask?”
“Dakota?” I asked again.
“I’ve never called you for something good, have I? Or even texted you for something unrelated to me needing your help.”
“Just talk to me.” I threw my stuff into the back of my car and then got into the driver’s seat, starting the engine. “Do you need me?”
I needed her to need me.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry to call, but I was outside, and I found a cat that looks lethargic and too thin. With four baby kittens.”
I froze before my phone went to Bluetooth, and I started my way to her house. “Are they breathing? How big are they?”
“They’re breathing and chirping like little babies. Macon, they could fit in the palm of my hand. They’re so tiny. I don’t know what to do. Do I move them?”
“Keep them where they are for now. I’m on my way.”
The relief in her voice made me want to give her the world so she knew she could trust me with anything. “Thank you. Joshua already met the kittens and wants to name them. He’s wanted a puppy for so long, but now I think he wants this family. And my God, that’s five cats, Macon. And what if they get sick? What if they don’t make it?”
“Stop borrowing trouble. We’ll figure it out. I’m a vet. It’s what I do.”
I was nearly at her house after she’d hung up before I realized that I still had blood on my knuckles from where I’d cracked the skin. Well. Jesus. She was just going to have to deal with me as I was. Because it wasn’t as if I had the answers she needed, nor was I the man she wanted. I pulled into her driveway, got out of my car, and did my best to run my hands over my jeans.
“Fuck,” I mumbled.
Dakota opened the front door, her eyes wide, looking a little scared. “They’re meowing and look happy. But I think the mama needs food.”
“I’m here. Let me take a look.” I pulled my medical bag tighter over my shoulder and stepped closer.
Her gaze met mine, and then she narrowed her eyes. “Did you just get back from a fight?”
I froze at the doorstep and swallowed hard. “Yes. If you need me to go, I will.”
“No,” she said with a sigh. “It’s not my right to tell you what to do. As long as you’re safe.”
“As safe as possible,” I replied, hoping it was true.
“Let’s go save those kittens. And my sanity.” And then she turned and walked towards the back yard.
I closed and locked the door behind me and followed her to the back patio where Dakota was now kneeling on the ground next to Joshua, worry on her face.
“Macon, can you help?” Joshua asked, his voice small. There was still excitement there, but he was worried.
Dammit, if we lost even one of these kittens or the mama cat, Joshua wouldn’t handle it well.
Hell, I wouldn’t handle it well.
I knelt beside Dakota, ignoring her scent and heat, as I looked at what was in front of me.
The mama cat looked a little thin and run-down, but I hoped it was just exhaustion. It didn’t look like there was any bleeding or any apparent wounds, but I would have to do a full checkup here and another in the morning at the clinic. The kittens seemed to be about four weeks old, so they were still too young to be away from their mom.
“There were a couple of storms the past two days. Might have forced the mama to move to another location with the babies,” I whispered, nearly mumbling to myself.
“Do you think that’s why she looks so tired? That she’s cold and sick from it?” Dakota asked.
“I’m not sure, but we’re helping her now. Why don’t you get whatever towels you don’t mind losing to kitten claws, and I’ll see what I can do.”
“I can get water, too,” she said.
“Yes, a shallow bowl she can easily use if you have it. I have some cat food in my bag, ironically.” At Dakota’s look, I elaborated. “I was feeding a group of feral cats on my block this morning. They’re fixed but run free. With the storms I mentioned, they came in for food.”
“You’re a good person, Macon.”
“I’m a vet,” I said simply.
She met my gaze before swallowing hard. “I’m glad you have food. I was going a bit crazy trying to think of what I was allowed to feed her.”
“I’m glad I have it with me.” I began the checkup as Dakota left, but then Joshua leaned into my side.
“You have a bruise on your face. And some on your hands. Are you okay?” Joshua asked, his voice low.
I knew that Joshua had been afraid when my brother was hurt, as well as Paris and Prior. There had been no shielding him from some of the attacks that had happened in the past. I didn’t know what Joshua knew about his father, if anything. So I wasn’t going to broach that subject, but I could at least be gentle with my honesty tonight regarding my issues.
“I was boxing,” I said honestly. “It’s a sport that some adults do. I just forgot
