He took it, spat out his mouthguard, and grinned. “Jesus Christ, you’re getting better, Brady.”
I spat out mine and snorted.
“Either that, or you’re getting worse.”
“Ouch. What a bitch,” Jackson said as he tore off his gloves and ran his hand over his mohawk. “Seriously, though, you’re getting good. You ever think about doing this professionally?”
That made me snort, and I shook my head, both of us going to the side of the ring where our trainers were arguing about something or other. “Not even in the slightest. I don’t know if I’m going to continue doing this at all.” I said the words quietly, but I knew my trainer heard it. He narrowed his eyes at me, but I shrugged. The guy knew I wasn’t in this for the long haul. I was surprised I was still doing it.
If I were honest with myself, I didn’t need the adrenaline or the feeling of being in the ring like I used to. I wasn’t the same man I was, barely healed from the gunshot wound and stepping into the ring before I was ready.
Though what would take its place? Dakota? No, we’d put that firmly to rest with her taking a step back, even if we were both ignoring what was between us. Maybe I didn’t need anything to replace this. I couldn’t fight like this forever, putting my body on the line all the time.
“Well, if you want to do it again, I’m in. You don’t need go full-out as if you’re trying to kill somebody like some of the assholes who walk in here. Maybe you’re trying to kill your demons, but fuck, that’s why we’re all here, right?”
Jackson shook his head, grinned, and then went back to his trainer. Jackson’s husband and wife were both behind the ropes, leaning into each other as they rolled their eyes at their husband. The triad had been an integral part of this ring for a while now, and I liked them. Some guys around here were assholes when it came to the union, but Jackson could fight for himself and those he loved, and hell, so could his lovers.
Bob followed me to my locker, while Jackson and his family went to his. “What’s this I hear about you quitting?” Bob asked casually, though I knew there was nothing casual about the words.
“We both knew I wasn’t going to do this forever,” I said, letting him help me with my wrapped hands.
“Well, you come talk to me before you make that decision. You’re earning big bucks. You could do more.”
“I have a job, Bob. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. But it’s not going to be for that much longer.”
“We’ll see,” he grumbled before he left me to my own devices. I stripped out of my shorts and then headed to the showers, knowing I needed a break.
“I can’t believe you’re fucking doing this,” Nate said from the doorway, and I shrugged. I knew he had followed Bob into the locker room, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Nate held up my towel, and I took it as he threw it at me, the end slapping my face.
I turned off the water and then ran the terrycloth over my head and body, glaring at him. “If you wanted a show, you just needed to ask.”
“I’m not looking at your dick, asshole.”
“Thanks for that. But you didn’t have to stay and watch me fight. I’m not being an idiot.”
Nate scowled. “We’ll agree to disagree on that. I watched the whole thing this time. You’re good. You don’t go all out and fuck with your safety. And Jackson seems like a decent guy even if I wanted to pull him off you at one point. But I hate that you’re doing this at all.”
“I’m fine, Nate. I promise.” I paused, wrapping the towel around my waist. “Did you Uber here? Need a ride home?”
Nate shook his head. “No, haven’t had a headache for a week. I drove.”
“You sure that was a good idea?”
“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you. Mister I’m going to go let someone slam their hands into my head repeatedly and see how many concussions I can get.”
“Nate,” I bit out, cursing at myself for not thinking about why Nate was reacting as he was. The concussion that had ended Nate’s career and had sent him on a new path had scared the shit out of all of us. It was the reason Nate had spells where he didn’t drive for a while.
And I hadn’t even made the connection.
“I only fight people who are smart about what they do. They don’t take chances.”
Nate shook his head. “You’re going to get hurt. And you might be alone when it happens. And because you don’t trust us, your family isn’t going to be here to help you. What the fuck are you doing, Macon?”
I scowled as I put on my clothes, fisting my hands against the lockers after I did so. “I don’t know. I just—it reminds me that I’m here. And it’s stupid. I know I don’t need this, but some part of me thinks I do. That I’ll end up here anyway.”
“I’m going to tell the family,” Nate said. “I haven’t yet because we’ve had other shit to deal with, but I’m going to tell them, Macon. And you need to figure out what you’re going to do. Because if you think I’m upset, what’s going to happen when Arden finds out?”
My gaze shot to his. “She’s going to kill us.”
“No, she’s going to kill you. She might get upset with me for not telling her right away. But she’ll hurt you. So, don’t you fucking dare pretend that this
