He started whistling as he made his way out of my store, the place that was mine and such an integral part of my life. I began to shake, and then Jason was there, holding me, pulling me to the back of the Boulder Bean while Pop was on the phone talking with the police.
“Breathe. Just breathe.” Jason sat me down and helped me put my head between my legs.
I tried to push him away.
“I’m fine.”
“You might be, but I’m sure as fuck not.”
That made me laugh. “Jason. I’m all right.”
“Okay. But first, you’re going to do this to make me feel better, and then we’re going to call your girls. And then we’re going to call Macon.”
I shot my head up. “You are not calling Macon.”
“Why the fuck not?” Pop asked, her phone still in her hand. “The cops are on their way.”
“I’m fine.”
Pop shook her head. “You need to report what happened. And you are going to call Macon.”
“I’m not. Macon isn’t part of this.”
“I think you’re wrong,” Pop said.
I pushed that away, knowing I needed to see my son before anything else. “I need to pick up Joshua.”
“Myra can do it. You need to deal with the cops, and then you’re going to meet Joshua at home. Everything will be fine.”
“Pop, you need to stop trying to run my life.”
“And you need to remember that you’re not alone.”
And with that, she huffed and headed to the front of the store. My hands still shook.
“I don’t need Macon.”
Jason shrugged. “Maybe not. But you do need to breathe. And you need to remember that we’re here for you.”
“I’m fine.”
“I know,” he said, though I wasn’t sure he believed me.
I wasn’t even sure I believed myself.
By the time I made sure everything was set up at the store and dealt with the authorities, I was exhausted and just wanted to see my son.
Myra was at the door when I pulled up, and she held up her hand as soon as I made my way to her. “Joshua knows nothing. He just played with paints, and we did his homework. He’s having a great day, so you can’t go in there and stress him out.”
“Myra. I need to see my son.”
“I know.”
I walked inside but froze when I noticed that Myra wasn’t alone. Nate was there, a scowl on his face as he stared at Myra. I blinked.
“Nate?”
“Didn’t want her here alone, just in case,” Nate said. He came forward, kissed the top of my head, and glanced at Myra. “I’ll head out, but you won’t be alone for long.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, but I didn’t have time to figure it out. Suddenly, I was on my knees, holding Joshua tightly as he chattered on about his day. I did my best to talk to him and act as if nothing was wrong.
“And then they said we’re going to have a class hamster, but some of the moms got upset about it because they didn’t want to have to deal with it. So maybe we’re not going to get a class pet, but I’m just really excited.”
Joshua continued to ramble, and I glanced over to see Nate and Myra whispering fiercely to each other at the door. I looked back at my son.
The hushed voices stopped, and I looked over again, knowing who would be there before I even saw him.
“Macon!” Joshua exclaimed and then ran to him.
Macon picked Joshua up like he weighed nothing and listened as my son repeated his stories about his day. Both Nate and Myra gave me tight nods before heading out, leaving me alone with Macon and Joshua. I had no idea how this had happened. My life was out of control, and I hated it.
Why couldn’t everybody just understand that I needed to control my actions? Instead, everybody just kept making decisions for me.
“Hey, buddy, why don’t you head to your room and start that tower. I’ll head in there in a minute?”
“Okay.” Joshua hugged Macon tightly, squeezed my legs as he ran by, and then headed off to his room.
“Don’t start,” Macon said.
Rage filled me, and I fisted my hands at my sides. “How can I start anything? Everybody’s making all the decisions for me. I don’t even have a say in my own life.”
Macon just shook his head. “We both know that’s not the case.”
“It sure as hell feels like it,” I whispered furiously.
“You’re scared, I get that, but we’re not taking over. You and me? We’re friends. We’re figuring things out. But when Myra called? I came. I’ll always be here if you need me. Even if we don’t figure out what the hell could be between us, I’ll be here for you. And that kid.”
Tears finally sprang to my eyes, and I put my fist over my mouth, choking back a sob.
Macon cursed under his breath and then pulled me close.
I didn’t have long to cry, Joshua could come back into the room at any moment, and I didn’t want him to see me like this. He had to see me strong. I couldn’t be weak.
“I’ve got you,” Macon whispered.
“You shouldn’t have to,” I said.
“I’ve got you,” he repeated.
I closed my eyes, letting everything inside me out for the barest of moments, knowing I shouldn’t rely on him, but that I could.
I would push him away again when I could breathe. But for now, I’d let him hold me. I’d let myself lean on him.
Even if I knew it was a mistake.
Chapter 10
Macon
I ducked under the first blow but wasn’t fast enough to avoid the second. My jaw ached, fiery pain scorching my skin, but I didn’t have time to focus on it. Instead, I got in two jabs and an uppercut. After the final blow, the man in front of me was down, taking a deep breath as he rose to his hands and knees, his fists on the mat.
He tapped out, and I let out
