Moments later, we’re quietly strolling down the path back toward Walker’s cabin. His hand is low on my back to steady my steps.
Once we’re inside, I head straight for the bathroom for my night time routine.
Makeup remover. Cleanser. Moisturizer. Brush and floss. Mild anxiety attack curled over the bathroom sink.
Maybe I should be excited that this sweet man is willing to put his dreams aside for mine. But in reality, it terrifies me. Because I know what happens when someone is forced to sacrifice their goals. I watched what happened when my mother was forced to choose between me and her dreams. She chose her dreams and I got left behind. And it crushed my soul.
I won't let that happen to my children.
48
Walker
I get home from a long day on the farm and Penny is at the stove, stirring a pot and shaking her butt to some loud, obnoxious music that fills the entire house. She turns and greets me with the prettiest smile and suddenly her music isn’t so obnoxious anymore.
While the food cooks, she sits me in a kitchen chair and rubs the knots out of my tight shoulders. Over dinner, we keep the conversation light, playful, flirtatious.
I’ve got a roaring fire going when she joins me in the living room after her evening shower. She used to be a night owl, but since she stopped tending bar at the Frosty Pitcher, she says that the cool water is the only thing that can keep her up past eight o’clock. Otherwise, she crashes right after dinner, curled up on the couch until I scoop her up and carry her to bed.
“You don’t mind, do you?” She pinches the hem of the flannel shirt she’s wearing. “I feel like I’m always wearing your clothes because nothing I own fits anymore. This belly is growing way too big, way too quickly.” She titters and rubs her stomach affectionately. “Is this really what having twins is like? It seems like I went from having abs to not fitting into my jeans overnight.”
My hot gaze sweeps her from top to bottom and I can’t lie. “You look perfect, Penn, as always.”
Heat flashes through her features but she quickly drops her stare, avoiding what must be the predatory gaze on my face as I eat her up with my eyes.
I’m still not sure where she stands on the topic of being in a relationship with me and although I have every intention of making her mine in the long run, I want to take it slow with the grand gestures. I don’t want to come on too strong and spook her if she’s not quite there yet. Because the last thing I want is for her to feel uncomfortable and pull away from me completely.
But my self-restraint is wearing thin. I’m desperate to know where we stand.
These past few days, I’ve been a patient man. I’ve taken my time with her. But every time I’ve tried to broach the topic of whether a relationship is in the cards for us, the woman has dodged the conversation like Neo dodging bullets in The Matrix. Often, this equated to her pouncing on me for sex. Lots of hot, sweaty, mind-blowing sex. Of course, I’ve been enjoying our physical connection. Our chemistry is off the chain but still, we need to talk about our future.
Penny gingerly curls up on the floor at the foot of the couch and watches me toss a few final logs onto the fire. The weather is unseasonably warm. A blanket of rust-coloured leaves covers the lawn. Rain is coming down in sheets around the house, creating a mesmerizing effect. I grab a wool blanket from the arm of the rocking chair and wrap her in it to shield her from the cool evening air while the room warms up.
“Sit with me.” She clasps the blanket around her shoulders with one hand and reaches out for me with the other. When she smiles that little smile at me, I have no choice but to oblige. I’d do anything she wants.
If Penny smiled at me like that and asked me to steal the nuclear codes from Air Force One, I’d find a way to make it happen.
I lower to the floor, pressing my shoulder blades against the seat of the couch. Penny rests her head on my shoulder and inhales. The quiet, satisfied sound she makes when she breathes me in sends a prod of lust through my cock.
My large palm finds its way to her belly, gently resting there. I hope to god I’m not crossing a line by touching her like this. With Penny, I can’t tell where any of the lines are these days, if any of the lines even exist anymore.
She calms my doubts when she gently drapes her arm around my waist and snuggles closer. So I let my hand wander some more.
“Is this storm supposed to be a bad one?” she asks quietly, her eyes shifting to the ominous, dark clouds hanging in the west. “It’s been raining since lunch.”
I lean my chin on the crown of her head. “Nah. But we do need this rain. The fields have been too dry.” Through the window, I see water splashing over everything as far as the eye can see. “The droughts can wreak havoc on the financials during the dry season so a bit of precipitation is welcome at this point.”
Her soft fingertips trail across my lower abdomen under my shirt, drawing a path along the waistband of my jeans. The tiny hairs in that region stand at attention under her touch. She’s fucking killing me. But I don’t want to be the one to jump her bones. Not tonight.
“How was work today?” I ask instead. The major parts of my remodel are pretty much complete, aside from some small
