“People change their minds, Penny. Maybe he feels differently now.”
“Or maybe his dedication to our friendship is blurring his reasoning,” I argue. “He sees that I’m struggling to prepare for twins and he wants to save the day, as always. I’m the girl he’s been saving from trouble his whole life. Being my hero is second nature to him. And I won’t let my parenthood journey become yet another rescue mission for him. The last thing I want to do is selfishly trap my friend in a domestic situation he wouldn’t be completely happy in.”
The thing is, when a person feels trapped, one of two things happens. They either spend their whole life in a situation that makes them miserable or…they eventually break free, never looking back, leaving the people who depended on them in the wreckage. That’s what my mother did.
She was on her way to earning a law degree when she fell pregnant with me. She was trying to climb the ladder but there I was, a weight shackled to her ankle. She kicked me off and she carried on with her life. I don’t want that for my children and I don’t want a guy who ends up feeling trapped with me.
So, it doesn’t matter that Walker is literally the man of my fucking dreams. I refuse to dive headfirst into a relationship. Not unless I’m sure it’s what’s best for all of us.
“Well, over dinner, he looked pretty damn happy to me,” Iris says confidently. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”
My gaze darts away and I make a skeptical noise.
“My god, hun. You are absolutely psyching yourself out.” She squeezes my arm and smiles. “You’re overthinking this, Penn. Maybe the guy just loves you.” On that, she drags me into the kitchen.
The room is pure chaos. Callie sits on the counter while she and her grandfather eat cake crumbs off of a serving tray. Diana is busy packing up doggy bags for her sons while Jessa is at the sink, up to her elbows in soap and bubbles. Cannon bounces around the kitchen with his cooing daughter in his arms. Lexi pops a slice of glazed ham into her husband’s mouth then turns back to scraping the leftovers into plastic containers.
It’s chaos. Happy, happy chaos.
As Iris and I step through the doorway, Walker looks up from where he’s loading the dishwasher. I come up beside him and hand him a dirty casserole dish from the counter. His eyes narrow darkly on my face.
“What?” I ask, perplexed.
He braces me by the shoulders and leads me to a kitchen chair. “Sit,” he commands, his voice low and firm.
I glare but he only smirks in my face then grabs the casserole dish and walks away.
Handsome bastard.
I don’t miss Diana’s smile as she observes the interaction.
Over the commotion of the room, Cannon speaks to his brother. “As I was saying, I might be able to put you in touch with an equipment dealer, someone who sells eco-friendly machines. I know you care a lot about reducing the farm’s carbon footprint. His pricing is reasonable and he seems willing to negotiate if you’re buying a couple of rigs. Do you want me to set up a meeting with him?”
Walker clears his throat and focuses his attention on the dishwasher. “I’ve decided to hold off on replacing the tractors,” he announces.
Cannon’s eyebrow lifts with surprise. “Oh really? Why’s that?”
Walker’s big back jerks when he shrugs noncommittally. “I'd rather invest my time and energy elsewhere right now. That’s all.”
Lucas and Diana share a look. Cannon’s eyes dart straight to my belly. Iris raises an eyebrow at me as she grabs a doggy bag and ducks out of the room.
Walker may be acting aloof but his motives are clear to all of us. And I’m not so sure I feel comfortable with it.
With a hint of a grin, Cannon decides to drop the topic. “Alright, man. I understand that. Just let me know if you change your mind.” He paces away to the other side of the room as the baby begins to fuss.
An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. Walker has been planning to change his farm equipment for months, and now all of a sudden, he’s abandoned his plan? I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.
When he approaches the kitchen table to swoop up a fistful of dirty utensils, I peer up into his face. “You changed your mind about the tractors?”
He shrugs. “Yeah.” One word. Uttered casual as fuck.
“Why is that?” I press, not letting him off the hook so easily. “Upgrading your farm equipment is all you've been talking about for months.”
The family continues to bustle about in the background.
Walker echoes Iris’s words from earlier. “People change their minds, Penn.”
As usual, he’s doing that thing he does. And as usual, it’s driving me crazy. He’s shutting me out.
I angle my head to the side. “You promised you'd be open with me,” I remind him softly, touching his forearm.
He pushes out a long breath and drops into the chair beside me. “Everything is so uncertain now. With you and the babies. It’s not like I’m hurting for money but I don't want to tie up my resources in farm equipment and not be able to provide for your needs in the short term.”
An acidic feeling spreads through my belly. “You know that we're not your responsibility,” I hiss in a low tone, not wanting to draw his family’s attention. “I can take care of everything on my own.” My hands fall to my stomach and I brace it protectively.
“But you don't need to,” he counters, his voice firm but quiet.
I shake my head. “The last thing I want is to inconvenience you. Walker, I don't want to throw your dreams off course.”
“Just let me do this for you, Penny,” he growls. “Just let me take care of you.”
He kisses me softly on
