"You act like he was some kind of predator. I met him at the bar a few months ago. He was trying to get Aunt Lucille's attention. He's a lonely guy who was trying to be nice.”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
Laughter escapes Penny’s lips, but it’s not a friendly sound. To be honest, it’s kind of scary. “You’re awfully protective for someone who spent a lifetime hiding behind the wall between us.”
I halt in my tracks. I don’t think I heard her correctly. Did Penny just call me a coward? A hypocrite? Fuck—that hits me in the chest.
“What did you say?” I question, the words coming out slowly.
Her eyes meet mine, flashing with something I don’t quite recognize. “Nothing. I said nothing,” she mutters before storming off to the bedroom, leaving me standing here like an idiot.
I shove my hand through my hair, yanking at the roots. I pace around the kitchen. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t stand it when Penny’s mad at me.
I realize now that I have to be vulnerable with Penn. She deserves to know my truth. I’m trying to win her over. If I want her to give her heart to me, there can’t be any secrets between us.
Minutes drag by before I finally make my way to the bedroom. I don’t want us to go to sleep angry. I need to talk to her. Tonight.
I poke my head through the half-open door. “Penn, can we talk?”
She shifts on the bed where she’s curled up with a pregnancy book. “Sure,” she answers, sounding reluctant. She seems to have cooled off a bit. Now, she looks more nervous than angry.
She slides a bookmark into the paperback and I step inside, dropping down at the foot of the bed. Her eyes focus on the quilt covering her lap and her thumb flicks aimlessly over the corner of the book.
“Penn.” I gently take the parenting manual from her fidgety hands and place it on the bedside table. “The guy who spoke to you at the farmer’s market?” I roughly scrub the back of my neck. “He’s my biological father.”
Her face snaps up to mine. She blinks hard. “What…?”
“He’s Bert Peters.”
“Oh my god, Walker…”
My fingernails grate the back of my neck again. I try to figure out the best place to start. “I was about five the first time he tried to tear my parents apart. He popped up out of nowhere. He showed up at the house one evening while we were getting ready for dinner. He rang the bell. I opened the door. He told me he was my father. I’ll never forget the stench of liquor on his breath. Or the glassy look in his eyes.”
“W-what happened?”
“Dad came out to see who was at the door. Obviously, he flew into a rage when he saw my mother’s ex-boyfriend crouched down in front of me on the front porch. Mom was a hysterical mess. It was never a secret between them that Bert was my biological father. They just never expected that they’d have to face him head-on. Thank god Eli and Cannon were too young to understand what was going on. Jude wasn’t born yet.”
I feel Penny crawling closer to me so her body is pressed up against mine. The heat of her skin is comforting. She leans her chin on my shoulder as I speak.
“It caused so much drama. It was so scary, P. I thought he was going to take me away. Bert said that he wanted to be with my mom. He said they belonged together and he was willing to fight for her, in the courts, in the streets, wherever. Until Dad pulled out his check book…Bert chose the money over me.”
“Fuck, Walker,” she breathes out. “I don’t even know what to say.”
I continue. “I know he may look harmless, but he’s not a good guy. He’s been trying to worm his way back into my life lately. That usually means he’s after money.” I sigh. “He’s an alcoholic but it’s usually his gambling that gets him in trouble. He comes sniffing around any time he needs money to pay off a new debt. That’s why I don’t want him near you. He’s a calculating bastard and I’m pretty sure his meeting you at the bar wasn’t a coincidence. I don’t know exactly what he’s up to but I know he’s trying to get to me through you. I don’t trust the guy.”
“Oh my god.” She cringes. She grabs my hand. The touch is so soothing. She has no idea.
“He made my childhood a living hell. I lived in constant fear. I was always on edge, always afraid that Bert would come back and tear me away from my home. And he did come back, every few years, but never for me. Only for money. He’d threaten to go public about my paternity unless my parents paid. Mom wanted to let him go blabbing because she didn’t like giving him the power to hold a secret over the family. But Dad, he wanted to protect me at all costs. And it cost him a lot. He sacrificed so much for me. More than anyone ever realized. And because of that I felt like I had to keep the truth of my paternity locked up tight. My parents never asked me to but I always felt like I had to hide the truth so I wouldn’t break their picture-perfect image. I carried so much shame over it.” My eyes go to hers, searching for a trace of understanding. “I couldn’t let anyone know…Not even you.”
“I had no idea,” she whispers.
“I wanted to tell you, Princess. I wanted to share it with you. I hated letting my secret come between us. But I knew that if I let you inside, I’d eventually have to tell you about Bert and I was scared that it would change the way you saw me.” I hang my head, feeling like that scared little
