Seriously, Cliff?
I huff with annoyance. I went to a lot of trouble to get here on schedule. To kill time, I swing by the pharmacy down the block to re-stock on pre-natal vitamins and other personal items.
As I’m wandering through the store, flinging a pack of razors into my basket, I get a message from Cliff asking for another ten minutes. I grunt a curse under my breath.
I double back when I catch a glimpse of a familiar blonde, browsing the shampoo shelf.
“Diana?” I make my way toward her.
Walker’s mother pivots around to face me and the happiest smile takes over her features. She makes a big deal of taking me in. “Oh, Penny. Look at you, dear. You look absolutely lovely.” We share a quick peck on the cheek.
A few people meander through the aisle as she and I make a bit of small talk. I tell her I’m going to the bar to pitch my ideas to Cliff and she jokes around about applying for a bartending job now that I’m no longer in the game.
I snicker, doing my best not to let my sadness spill through. Walker’s mom really is the best and I’d rather not bleed my pain all over her pretty pink cardigan. From her laidback demeanor, I’m assuming Walker hasn’t told her that I left last night and I’m not sure I should be the one to break the news.
She checks her wristwatch and gasps. “Oh, no. I have to go pick up Callie and Jessa from kiddie yoga class. Then, I have to get back to the guesthouse. We have a wedding party checking in this afternoon and the bride is very ‘particular’.” Amusement twinkles in her eyes as she makes air-quotes around the word. “I need to make sure I’m there to welcome them.”
“All right, then,” I say feeling wistful as I take a small step back.
“We’ve got fajitas on the menu today. I’ll make sure to send a plate over to the cabin.” She winks.
Fuck. I can’t continue to keep this kind woman in the dark.
I balance my shopping basket on my forearm. “I moved out of the cabin.” My whisper is barely audible and the words wrench my heart.
She blinks. “You moved?”
I nod as emotion scales the inside walls of my chest.
Diana’s brow crinkles with concern and her hand falls to my arm. “Dear, what happened?”
“It was time for me to go.” I shrug a shoulder. “Things were starting to get complicated with Walker and me.”
“Complicated how?”
I suck in a breath and glance around to ensure our privacy. We’re at the freaking pharmacy, for heaven’s sake. Not the ideal location for personal conversations.
“Walker said he wants us to be a family.”
The woman looks halfway between elated and confused. “He said he wants a family? And you still want to be a single mom?”
Do I? Do I still want to do this on my own? Would that really be my preferred choice in an ideal world?
“It’s not so much that I want to be a single mom?” I explain. “It’s more that I don’t want him to feel obligated to offer me a family because deep down, that’s not what he really wants.” He wants to expand his greenhouses, he wants to upgrade to eco-friendly farm equipment. He’s been working toward these dreams for so long. And now, I’m getting in the way.
Her expression shifts more to the ‘confused’ side of the spectrum. “And you know he doesn’t want a family because…?”
“He told me. A few months ago when he offered me his…y’know…” I nod suggestively toward my crotch.
“Sperm, darling. Sperm.” Diana sounds impatient. Her volume is a bit on the elevated side and it draws curious eyes our way. I wonder if I look as mortified as I feel. The woman chuckles at my expression and nods at my baby bump. “It’s a little late to start playing coy now. Continue.”
“When he offered me his…sperm, he told me he didn’t want children.” My cheeks are on fire.
She laughs some more, the sound rising up from her belly. “Penny, my son would say anything, do anything to make you happy. Don’t you know that by now? If he said he didn’t want kids, it’s because, on some level, he thought that’s what you’d want to hear.”
“Exactly!” I say. “He’d tell me exactly what I want to hear because I’m his best friend and he—”
“Because he loves you, Penny.”
I pause and blink.
Diana speaks with assurance. “I’m not talking about ‘friendship’ love. I’m not talking about warm, fuzzy feelings. I’m talking about hardcore, full-blown, panting-for-air, incurable love. I can tell you with certainty that you are the only woman my son has ever loved and he’s loved you for a long damn time.”
“Really?” I squeak out.
Her head bobs vigorously. “Really.”
“That’s not possible,” I whisper, my lips trembling. I’m deep in denial. “You know how loyal Walker is.” I rub a hand over my belly. “He sees me pregnant with twins and he knows that I’m overwhelmed and he wants to save me. That’s all it is.”
Her laughter flutters through the aisle, rising above the store’s music. “Clearly, you overestimate how altruistic my son is. The man wants you. All to himself. But it’s like he has this notion in his brain that you’d never love him back.” She squeezes my hand. “If he said he didn’t want to have children, he meant he didn’t want to have children if he couldn’t have them with you.” She sighs. “He loves you, Penny. Deep down, you’ve always known that, haven’t you?”
Walker loves me? How did I not see it? Hell—how come no one ever told me? Well, no one except for Jessa, that is.
“Is it that you don’t love him back?” the mother asks cautiously.
“I’ve loved that man since before I even knew how to classify the feeling.” I laugh wryly. The idea of actually getting
