“No, dear. This is good. It’s good.” Her fingers are still wrapped around my wrist. “The man you love is in love with you. What’s so terrifying about that?” she asks warmly.
I’ve been deprived of the love I needed all my life. I’ve been lonely and stagnant and unfulfilled for so long. And now, I could possibly have it all? The man I love, his babies, the career of my dreams, all at once. It almost feels too much.
I pour my heart out all over the floor. “Have you ever wanted something so bad, you begged the universe for this one thing…and then you find yourself staring at it right in the face and you realize that you are completely and utterly afraid. Afraid that it’s too good to be true. Afraid that it’s all a dream. Afraid that if you touch it, it’ll crumble in your hands? That’s how I feel, Diana. If I try to make it work with Walker and it doesn’t, I will crumble.”
She studies me as if she can see the freak-out fest taking place inside my mind. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re just scared to finally get what you want?” She nods knowingly. “It’s called self-sabotage, honey—that’s the issue here—and I won’t stand by and watch you do it. Both you and my son deserve better.”
This all feels surreal. I’m still grasping for a plausible excuse not to take the leap.
“This is not how people do it,” I mumble staring down at the floor. “Get pregnant and then get into a relationship. It won’t work.”
“How do people do it?” Walker’s mother challenges.
“They date. They get to know each other, really know each other. They fall in love. Then they decide if they want to spend the rest of their lives together. The marriage and babies come next.”
She shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Okay, so you got the steps out of order. Doesn’t mean you can’t still take the rest of the steps. I’m living proof of that.” She smiles. “You can date. You can spend time together. You can explore your feelings for each other. Give it a shot, dear. You don’t have to rush into anything but at least give yourself the chance. Or you’ll spend your whole life regretting it.”
Those words resonate like a bell. Living the rest of my life in regret sounds like hell on earth.
I think back to the fact that Diana was already pregnant by another man when she met Lucas Kingston. And that didn’t stop them from getting their happy ending anyway. Maybe fate might still play out in favor of Walker and me.
“I know that you have all the power, dear. You have a legal document where my son signed all his parental rights over to you. So, ultimately, the decision is yours.” Diana’s hand rests lightly on my stomach. “But I just want you to know, in my heart, these children will always be my grandbabies and you will always be a part of the Kingston family. No matter what any legal document says.”
I purse my lips to keep from sobbing and I throw my arms around this kind woman. Walker’s mom hugs me back. I’m not sure she understands the impact of what she’s saying to me. I’ve always wanted to fit in somewhere, to belong. And now, she’s carved out a space in her family for me and my children. It’s a priceless gift.
Oh, god. We’re both crying in the pharmacy’s damn shampoo aisle.
My phone starts chirping and I pull out of the embrace. Wiping my eyes, I glance down at my device and see Cliff’s phone number. “It’s my client.” I wave my phone in the air.
“Go ahead, dear. Take the call.” Diana blots her eyes with a napkin. “But think about what I said.”
“I will.” As I walk off toward the cash register, I know I won’t be able to get her words out of my head.
Cliff’s newest text message asks for another five minutes. I text him back and postpone the whole damn meeting. Suddenly, there’s some very pressing shit I need to attend to. Namely, upgrading my baby daddy to boyfriend status. Maybe more. We’ll see how it goes.
I hustle-waddle out of the pharmacy. Once settled behind the steering wheel of my car, I take in my haggard reflection in the rearview mirror. Eesh!
I’m going to need a bit of female intervention here. By the time I start the engine, I’ve got Iris, Lexi and Aunt Lucille on a conference call.
Heart pounding, I swing out of the parking lot. It’s time to finally make Walker mine.
52
Walker
I leave the barber shop and maneuver my truck along the highway, speeding back toward Crescent Harbor.
My mind is made up, I’m headed straight over to Lucille’s house. I’m going to tell Penny the truth that’s on my chest, I’m going to pledge my love to her and I’m not leaving that house until she gives me her heart in return. She’s wrong for thinking I view her as a responsibility. She’s my whole damn world and it’s about time that she knows it.
I pull up alongside the perfectly trimmed hedgerow, squeezing into a parking space right behind Iris’s electric car. Lexi’s shiny luxury ride is parked across the street and Penny’s crumbling little hatchback is squeezed into the driveway behind Miss Lucille’s gas-guzzling SUV.
I glance between the vehicles. Something doesn’t feel right.
When I peer toward the side of the house, I notice the kitchen door is open a crack. In a flash, my pulse is skittering like crazy. Maybe I’m being irrational but my mind immediately flips to the worse case scenario.
Is something wrong with Penny? Or the babies?
Heart jackhammering, I prowl up the back steps of the small one-story bungalow and burst into the kitchen.
…And a thick cloud of hairspray punches me in the face.
Holy shit.
I throw my
