Stephen poured his own whiskey, then plopped into the chair opposite.
“What has you so preoccupied?” Stephen asked.
“None of your business.”
“I saw you this morning with Miss Wilson.”
“So?”
Nicholas glared, and Stephen glared back, the seconds ticking by. The silence stretched to infinity. Stephen acted as Nicholas’s conscience, and Nicholas usually heeded him, but not always. Not when he desperately craved what he wasn’t supposed to have.
“You might as well confess,” Stephen ultimately said, “and don’t lie to me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Nicholas sarcastically replied.
“What have you done?”
“I’ve started an affair.”
Stephen nodded, as if Nicholas had confirmed his every low opinion.
“Have you deflowered her, you wretch?”
“A gentleman should never kiss and tell.”
“A gentleman shouldn’t, so you don’t qualify.” Nicholas raised an arrogant brow, and Stephen bellowed, “Have you forged ahead?”
“Not yet.”
“But you plan on it?”
Nicholas shrugged.
He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He was roiling with lust, but couldn’t seem to alleviate it. For some idiotic reason, he’d decided to behave honorably toward her, but he couldn’t figure out how to accomplish chivalry while naked.
Stephen slapped a hand on the desk, a loud crack echoing off the high ceiling.
“Do you plan to ruin her?”
“Perhaps.”
“What will become of her after you’re through?”
“Why would anything happen? We’ve been extremely discreet.”
“This is a very small place. Everyone will eventually learn of it.”
“They will not,” he declared with an annoying confidence.
“What if she winds up with child?”
“She won’t.”
“Are you God now?” Stephen taunted. “Can you commence and halt procreation?”
“Shut up.”
“When your liaison is discovered—as it will be—how will you proceed? Will you marry her?”
“You know I can’t.”
“So what is your option? Will you leave her at the mercy of Oscar Blair? Would you like me to predict how he’ll deal with her?”
“She’ll be fine; you’re making too much of this.”
“She was never taught about men like you,” Stephen said. “She doesn’t realize the cold heart that beats in your chest. She believes your affection is genuine and that you have matrimony in mind.”
“She’s wrong.”
“Have you told her about Veronica?”
At the question, Nicholas’s pulse fluttered. He hadn’t mentioned his engagement and didn’t see why he should. London seemed far away, Veronica a figment of his imagination.
“No, I haven’t told her. Why would I? She’d be crushed.”
“Oh Nick . . .” Stephen sighed with disgust. He downed his drink, then went over and poured a second. He downed that too. “Here is what you’re going to do.”
“You’re issuing ultimatums? To me?”
“No, I’m saving that girl’s life. She’s endured plenty, and I won’t let you wreck what little remains for her.”
“Maybe it’s not up to you,” Nicholas snidely goaded. “Maybe for once, I’ll act however the hell I want, your fussy morals be damned.”
Stephen shocked them both by pitching his glass at the fireplace. It shattered into dozens of pieces, shards flying everywhere.
“Are you insane?” Nicholas seethed as Stephen marched to the desk. He leaned over, his palms braced on the polished wood.
“Here is what you are going to do,” he nagged again. “You will get up in the morning. You’ll eat breakfast, saddle your horse, then ride to London. You will not say goodbye to her. You will not give her any hint of your intentions. You will simply sneak away, then you will never come back until you hear—in the distant future—that she is happily married to some local boy who loves her as you never could.”
Nicholas’s thoughts reeled, the notion of his Em wed to another making him ill. He absolutely could not envision such a thing.
“I’m not ready to return to London,” he protested.
“If you don’t do as I’ve bid you, I will tell her about Veronica. I’ll tell her you’re betrothed and have been for months.” Stephen leaned even nearer and hissed, “I’ll tell her that your wedding is at the end of August! How would you guess she’ll take the news?”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wouldn’t I? I’m not bluffing. Don’t force my hand.”
Stephen eased away and sank into his chair. They were silent again, glowering.
A thousand words were on the tip of Nicholas’s tongue. He yearned to explain his strange infatuation, to justify his conduct, even though there was no excuse for it.
Still, he felt compelled to plead, “She’d never understand about Veronica.”
“No, she wouldn’t.”
“Why would you deliberately hurt her?”
Stephen scoffed. “Why would I hurt her? Oh, that’s rich.”
“She’ll hate me.”
“She should hate you. You’re contemptible.”
“She doesn’t think I am. She thinks I’m wonderful.”
“Then someone should tell her the truth. It might as well be me.”
Stephen’s derision was clear, but then, he’d known Nicholas for a long time. Stephen had no illusions about Nicholas’s character, and Nicholas couldn’t abide his condemning stare. He shifted to gaze out the window again, surveying his property, all the way to the gate that held such a lonely, awful memory.
Was it so wrong to dally with Emeline? He’d never really had anything that mattered. She mattered. Stephen was asking him to let her go, and Nicholas couldn’t bear the idea. Part of it was general stubbornness. If he was ordered to behave in a certain manner, he’d do the opposite merely to be contrary.
Yet he wanted Emeline—both for the moment and into the future. Whether that would be weeks or months, he couldn’t say. But the prospect of splitting with her was galling.
“What if I . . .”—he paused, formulating nonsensical plans—“what if I took her to London with me? I could set her up in a house, and she could be my—”
“No.”
“Why not? There are worse fates than being mistress to an earl.”
“You expect she’d agree to such an immoral situation? That she’d subject her young sisters to it?”
“She might,” Nicholas persisted, even though he knew she never would.
“She’s in love with you! She’s convinced you’re about to propose marriage. You mentioned that she thinks you’re wonderful. What will her opinion be after you make another sort of proposal entirely?”
“It could happen. You’d be surprised how easily I can persuade a woman.”
“No I wouldn’t. I know you, remember? What about Veronica? You’re about to marry
