It was so wrong for him to have befriended her. What good could come from it? He was behaving very badly, and he would break her heart in the end. He had no doubt about it. He might even wind up ruining her reputation in the neighborhood.
If word of his infatuation leaked out, no one would believe it had been an innocent romance. She’d be vilified, while he would board his ship and sail away. Yet even knowing all that, even admitting all that, he missed her desperately.
There was no reason to loiter in London. He’d scheduled a week’s visit, but it was merely because he’d assumed he needed to flee the estate for a few days. But he simply wanted to be at Ralston Place instead.
He rippled with astonishment. Imagine that! When he could be with Joanna in the country, why tarry in the city? It made no sense so . . .
Apparently, he was leaving in the morning.
Margaret was sitting in the garden, loafing on a bench. It was a beautiful afternoon, and she hadn’t felt warm since she’d sailed from Alexandria. England’s gloomy grey skies weighed her down. If she wound up with a sunburned nose, it was a tiny price to pay for several minutes of decadence.
One of Sandy’s sons walked by, but he didn’t notice her. He was peeking over his shoulder, as if he was involved in mischief and hoping not to be observed.
“Hello, Tim,” she said. “Or are you Tom?”
At the sound of her voice, he jumped and whipped around. “Oh, Mrs. Howell! I didn’t see you there.”
“I’ve only met you boys once, so I can’t tell you apart. Which one are you?”
“I’m Tom.”
She patted the spot next to her on the bench, and he hesitated, glancing down the path, then he joined her.
“Who are you hiding from?” she asked.
“My brother. I’m supposed to be minding him, but sometimes, I’d rather not.”
“If you’re not watching him, who is?”
“No one, I guess. We have chores, but I told him to finish them on his own. The weather is too nice, so I’m going swimming.”
“You’re a truant.”
“I have to be or I might choke.”
“I’m hiding too,” she said, “and dawdling in the peace and quiet. I lived in Egypt, and it was hot and sunny there. I miss it.”
“Have you seen a pyramid?”
“I saw tons of them.”
“And the Nile river?”
“I had a house that was on the banks of the Nile.”
“You’re so lucky. Pa says it’s not our lot to leave the estate and that we should be happy where we are, but I’d like to travel everywhere.”
“I don’t blame you. Now that I’ve traveled myself, Ralston Place seems very small.”
“Pa wants me to run the stables when I’m an adult, but I can’t imagine it.”
“What would you like to try instead?”
“I’d like to be a pirate or an explorer.”
She chuckled. “I’d encourage you on the idea of being an explorer, but pirates are criminals who usually end up being hanged. It might not be such a good career choice.”
“Probably not.”
His shoulders slumped with dismay, and she said, “What if you enlisted in the navy when you’re a bit older?”
He grinned, a charming, miniature version of Sandy. “I would love that!”
“I think you can sign up when you’re fourteen.”
“Pa says I have to attend school until I’m sixteen.”
“It’s not that many years away, and it will pass quicker than you expect.”
“I’ll likely go mad here, waiting for something to change.”
“I’ll mention your interest in the navy to my brother. He can give you some advice about it.”
“Would you?”
He looked so delighted that she grinned too. “The navy is his favorite topic, and he’ll talk about it until you reach a point where you’ll be begging him to desist.”
He sighed. “My mother thought I should be a sailor. Her brother joined, and he liked it, but Pa claims I should stay at home where I belong.”
“Parents typically pick the right path for their children, but not always.” She was referring to her own mother who’d forced her to marry Mr. Howell. “I can discuss it with your father.”
“Would you, Mrs. Howell? I tell him my plans, but he simply scolds me for being a dreamer. He says I need to come back down to Earth.”
“That definitely sounds like your father.”
They enjoyed a companionable silence, then Margaret couldn’t resist asking, “Do you miss your mother?”
“Every day, ma’am. She was the best person ever.”
“It’s too bad she’s not around to persuade your father.”
“It was easier when she took my side. He can be a stern fellow.”
“I know that about him. He and I have been friends for a very long time.”
“He told us that you were.”
She smiled, liking that Sandy had spoken of her with his sons. It made their furtive affection seem a little less forbidden.
From far off, they heard his brother calling, “Tom! Tom! Where are you? I’m not about to finish this by myself! If you don’t help me, I’ll tell Pa!”
Tom bristled. “There’s Tim. He can be such a tattle.”
Margaret waved him away. “You better go then. You shouldn’t get in trouble because you were loafing with me.”
“Can we chat in the future? I’d like you to describe those pyramids you saw.”
“I would like that. I’ll find you some afternoon when you’re not busy.”
His brother hollered again, and he jumped up and marched off, calling back, “I’m coming, I’m coming. Stop caterwauling or you’re like to wake the dead.”
She watched until he vanished, then she relaxed and pondered the world and her place in it.
She reflected on Sandy and his boys. They were three males who’d lost the female they’d needed to balance them, and it was so unfair that Sandy had been given two sturdy, healthy children, but she hadn’t managed to birth a single one.
Did he realize how fortunate he was? The question answered itself: Of course he realized it. His luck at life left her incredibly jealous.
It seemed as if she’d
