“Wow, what a pep talk.” Reagan said, her head peeking through the slightly open door. I laughed. “You’re right, Sutton. No matter what, your life is a miracle and you get to live it any way you want right now, so don’t take that for granted.” Reagan hugged me and handed me my phone. “Oh, and by the way he replied.”
My heart started beating a million miles an hour as I snatched the phone from Reagan’s hands. I clenched it and walked to my bedroom. Reagan followed slowly behind me, and Shane followed too.
“You know she’s going to be crushed if he decides to stay, right?” Shane whispered a little too loud so that I heard it. I subtly looked up at Reagan who shot him a look and mouthed the words, “I know.”
I laid back on my bed and clicked my phone screen on.
Hey. Sorry, been a busy day. Took a nap before I finish packing. I sighed. I wasn’t sure if that message was good or bad but it was a reply so I was content with that.
No worries. How were the crazy shoppers? Did they eat all the pizza? I joked. I looked over at the doorway where Reagan and Shane were still standing.
I invited them in and they didn’t hesitate. They both immediately sprawled out on the edge of the bed.
Just then, my phone vibrated twice. I picked it up instantaneously.
So. Many. People. So. Many. Pizzas. The first one read.
Can I pick you up around 6 to talk? The next text said. I gulped.
“What does it say?” Reagan asked, moving closer to me.
“He wants to talk tonight.”
“Okay.” She said, well, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” I sighed again.
“Well, I guess we’ll see what ends up happening.”
At 5:55, I sat on the couch looking back out the window every few seconds.
“Are you nervous, Sutton?” Gia asked looking up at me - an innocent look in her eyes.
“A little bit,” I replied, biting my lip.
“Why?” She asked and was clearly curious.
“I’m just a little nervous about whether Luke will stay in my life or not.”
“He will,” Gia replied confidently.
“Oh yeah?” I replied.
“Yes. He’s good. I can tell.” I hugged my little sister and heard the familiar sound of the red truck pulling up out front.
“You got this,”Reagan said. The whole family pulled me in for a group hug before I walked out the door.
There was a chill in the air and I shivered as I walked up to the truck where Luke was standing. He grinned but he didn’t look good. He looked exhausted and his eyes were red and swollen. I hoped it was from his overnight shift but I didn’t think so.
“Hi Sutton.” He said opening the car door for me. I climbed into the truck and he slammed the door behind me, walking around to his side and getting in.
There was silence between us as Luke drove. I didn’t even have to ask where we were going because I knew. A few minutes later we pulled up to the sunflower field. The sun was starting to set and it peeked through the tall trunks of the sunflowers.
Luke killed the engine and looked over at me. He smirked but I saw some hurt in his eyes. I swallowed and selfishly wished he was about to tell me he wanted to head to Dainstown with me.
I sighed out loud breaking the silence between us. Luke reached for my hand and held it. “Sutton I know our story is crazy but I’m the luckiest guy in the world to have met you.” He kissed my hand gently.
“I just.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t think I can just pick up my life and move hours away. I can’t imagine not being here if anything ever went wrong with my grandma or my uncle.” A single tear started to trickle down his cheek.
I squeezed his hand tight. I knew all along it wasn’t realistic for Luke to leave with me, but I just hoped it would happen. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat. I knew if I didn’t I would explode into tears.
“I understand.” My voice cracked and the tears started streaming. Luke pulled me towards him and we embraced both sobbing.
“Sutton, I still want you in my life. We can text all the time and FaceTime.” He pulled himself together wiping the tears from my cheeks. “We can visit each other.”
“I know,” I replied, trying to calm myself down. “I don’t know why I expected you to leave your life here. That’s selfish of me.” I sniffled and wiped my eyes but the tears kept flowing until I was having a full-on breakdown.
Luke put his hand on my shoulder and I trembled and sort of pulled away. Luke banged his fist on the steering wheel then rubbed the top of his head with his palm. He sighed loudly and then opened the truck door and slammed it closed.
He paced back and forth in front of the truck. His hands were on his head and he was mumbling out loud. I heard little bits of it here and there. I didn’t know if he was talking to god or his mom and dad or me but he was clearly upset.
“What was I supposed to do? Pick up my life and leave. How can I even believe any of this shit? It doesn’t even make any sense? Why are you doing this shit to me?” He cried and collapsed into a squatting position, his face in his hands.
As each of us worked through our parallel breakdowns it started to drizzle. I kept my eyes on Luke. He sobbed in his hands for a few minutes then he randomly stood up and ripped the truck door open sniffling
