“I want to say goodbye tonight. It’ll be too hard for me to say it tomorrow.” Luke said his eyes narrow and his voice low and flat. I nodded holding back my tears. I guess we’re not saying see you later anymore. I thought to myself.
We sat in silence again but Luke grabbed my hand. The sun had set and darkness was beginning to surround us. “Where are you going to live?” I said looking over at Luke.
“Going to sleep on my uncle’s girlfriend’s couch for now.” Those words felt like a dagger.
“So I guess you’ll be seeing a lot of Bianca then,” I said quietly. Luke swallowed loudly. “I guess so,” he said monotone, letting go of my hand.
“You can take me home now.” My voice cracked and I tried my absolute best not to burst into tears again.
Luke looked over at me. “This isn’t the end for us, Sutton. I’m sure of it.” A tear ventured down his cheek and he kissed my forehead.
We drove in silence again and pulled up in front of Aunt Helen’s house. I looked in the window where I saw multiple shadows sitting on the couch. The TV danced and flashed.
Luke killed the engine and looked over at me. “You’re special Sutton Greys and I will never forget you.” I turned to him. My face was red and puffy.
“Likewise Luke.” He pulled me in close and kissed me once more. There was a sudden rush throughout my whole body. Luke’s lips didn’t leave mine long enough for me to take a breath. He kissed me passionately and hard. Minutes must have passed by and Luke pulled away slowly but all at once. My heart thumped and we both tried to catch our breath.
“I’ll see you later Sutton.” Luke said in between gasps. I took a deep breath in and then exhaled.
“I’ll see you later Luke.”
The next morning snowflakes danced in the wind as my dad packed the last bag in the back of my Jeep. He slammed the back door shut and said “let’s hit the road kiddos.”
My face was still swollen and red. I was probably worse off than yesterday because I had spent the majority of the night bawling my eyes out. I wore my ripped jeans, my dad's baggy sweatshirt, and aviators. No one questioned me even though the sky was blanketed by dark snow clouds and there was no way sunglasses were necessary.
My parents made the executive decision that my mom would drive my car home and Gia would ride with my dad. I crossed my arms and watched as Gia hugged Ronnie one last time. She was muttering a few last things that she demanded he remember until they saw each other next. Ronnie nodded, lifting his glasses to rub away his tears every few seconds. They held each other for a long time and I felt my eyes begin to well up.
I glanced around one last time. A part of me was still hoping Luke would show up last minute. I could picture him skidding to a stop on his bike just as we were about to pull out of the driveway to let me know he had changed his mind.
Before I got in the car I glanced in every possible direction. Sadly, this wasn’t a movie and Luke was nowhere to be found. I walked over to the passenger side of my Jeep and climbed in, shoving headphones in my ears.
I looked towards the house where Aunt Helen was attempting to stand up and wave. My mom scolded her before joining me in the car. Reagan came over to the window and knocked on it. I rolled it down and pulled one headphone out.
“One last hug?” She questioned. I groaned but stood up.
“Hug #191. Hey, I feel like my odds of dying are lower now. I already had my near-death experience, so chill.” I said squeezing her tight.
“Shut up.” She laughed. “I love you, Sutton. Hang in there.”
“I’ll do my best.” I sighed sitting back down in my seat. Reagan shut the door and waved at me before walking back to her car.
“Hopefully her nurse will get here soon.” My mom said looking at the watch on her arm and biting her lip. I continued to stare straight ahead. My mom looked over at me and grabbed my hand before pulling out of the driveway. I glanced back in her direction, she gave me a half-smile and tightly squeezed me.
“It’s going to be okay Sutton,” she said before pulling her hand away to back out of the driveway.
..
“Glad we made it home before the first storm actually hit.” My dad said, staring out the picture window scratching the back of his head. I sat on the couch in an outfit very similar to the one I left Coopersville in, sunglasses and all.
We had been home for almost three weeks. My days consisted of binge-watching netflix and eating. I hadn’t heard from Luke at all. My mom told everyone that this was my way of grieving and to let me be. I wore sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts every day and my sunglasses almost all the time. I hadn’t cried since the day we left Coopersville but I hadn’t laughed either. I felt empty and like a zombie walking through life.
I had been to two appointments with a therapist. She was nice, young, and way too bubbly. I answered all of her questions but I didn’t give her much more than that.
There were six inches of snow on the ground and more on its way. Normally, I would be ecstatic about that but I felt nothing but indifferent.
“Sutton,
