A pair of sparrows sat inside on a sturdy branch. Sparked by the memory, she walked over and picked it up, automatically shaking it. White snow surrounded the sparrows. As a child, Bailey had wondered how these delicate creatures could survive such harsh conditions. Her mother smiled when Bailey asked the question. She had smiled so broadly, it made Bailey smile back. “Even the tiniest of creatures warrant the safekeeping of God.” Bailey wiped a tear from her cheek as she remembered her mother’s words. “You are the sparrow, Bailey. Small, yet mighty, joyful, diligent, creative, beautiful. You are proof that to be heard, one does not need the loudest voice.”
You are the sparrow, Bailey.
It made so much more sense now that Bailey knew the truth about her parents. A small, helpless baby abandoned in the snow would need God’s protection, and God had provided for them both. Her mother was given a child, and Bailey had been given a mother. Delivered from God Himself were the words Helen had spoken to her sister that night.
The snow globe caught the light as she turned it around in her hand. She whispered, “Small and mighty, I need to let my voice be heard.” She certainly accomplished that tonight, at least she had with Dex. Now… Now she needed to figure out what to do about Ryan.
Bailey turned the key on the bottom of the snow globe and heard the familiar hymn as it tinkered out of the tiny speaker. She remembered the words her mother had sung along with them.
Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart feel lonely and long for Heav’n and home?
When Jesus is my portion? A constant Friend is He.
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me.
Helen had played the song a hundred times. Bailey even remembered her teaching Ryan how to play it on her piano. She would give anything to have her mother there now to talk to.
Oh, what she would trade for more time with her mother, if just a few moments. Not that it mattered. Bailey would use those moments to get answers, though that is the one gift her mother wouldn’t give her. And that hurt her more than anything. Helen should have prepared her for the truth.
Her mother must have been afraid of losing Bailey if she told her the truth. But why? If Bailey was abandoned and unloved by her biological family, what did Helen have to lose? What would it have hurt to tell Bailey the truth once Helen knew she was nearing the end of her life?
Feeling the loss of her mother and not knowing how to move forward with Ryan, she stripped off her clothes and crawled into bed alone.
She was the same…she and Ryan were the same. Just like Helen, they were afraid of telling each other the truth for fear of losing one another. The change in her feelings was something she couldn’t have predicted. And Ryan didn’t say anything, just sang her a bunch of love songs. She closed her eyes and tried to settle the swarm of butterflies in her stomach. Yeah, she realized not just anyone would sing her love songs. That was special. She took another deep breath and let it out slowly, letting that sink in for a moment. She was touched, but she was hurt, too. Hurt that he would scheme with Dex behind her back.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ryan stood there like an idiot, waiting for Bailey to open the door. He pounded again, not wanting to wake her neighbors, but not willing to give up either. Her car was there, so he knew she was inside, hiding, pretending not to hear the door. He scanned the parking lot again but didn’t see Dex’s truck.
The look on her face when she realized he and Dex had made that deal behind her back, that expression would haunt him forever.
It was time. Simple as that. Bailey was a talker. She couldn’t function without working everything out. She needed organization; everything needed a place, even her feelings. Normally, this wasn’t an issue for Ryan. He had always been a talker, too. Just recently, though, he had lost his voice where Bailey was concerned. Clammed up and froze when it came time to telling her how he felt.
Fear was the only explanation for it. He feared losing her, the most important person in his life. Like her, he was afraid of too many things changing, but at this point, so many things had already changed, did it really matter anymore? Love had no guarantee. People left, people died, and that was something he couldn’t control. The only difference between today and yesterday was that now he was ready to relinquish that control. He was willing to risk everything if it meant having her.
The door flew open, and Ryan looked up. She didn’t meet his eyes.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hey…”
His stomach flipped a few somersaults, and, after a few moments of silence, he said, “May I come in?”
“Yes.”
He stepped in and looked around, relieved when he didn’t see Dex.
Bailey closed the door, leaving them in darkness. She reached over and clicked on a lamp. She still didn’t look into his eyes. Now he was nervous. God damn, he had never been nervous with Bailey before. It was Bailey, for Pete’s sake. He was an idiot.
“Bailey…”
When he said her name, she finally met his eyes. Hers were haunted and unhappy. His heart went from doing somersaults to nearly pounding out of his chest. He reached out for her, unable to stop himself. It was as if he moved in slow motion as she reached for him, too.
“I’m sorry.” His hands rested on the sides of her face, and he leaned down, inhaling her familiar scent. He wanted to touch her, remind himself how she felt in his arms. He cupped her cheeks, then her ears, until
