The view is incredible. With the kitchen sitting off to the left and a dining area just beside that I’m floored by how immaculate this place is.
“So what do you think?” He asks as he watches me take everything in.
“It's amazing, I can't believe you live here.”
“We,” he corrects me. “We live here.” Nodding at how surreal this place feels, and a little eager to explore everything fully later on.
I could definitely get used to this. I walk over to the windows overlooking the city. A balcony runs along the side overstretching past the edge of the building. Walking past me he goes to the balcony doors opening them up and stepping outside. Without hesitation I follow wanting to see the view from out there. I walk over to the edge of the balcony, leaning slightly over the thick cement barrier, the only thing keeping me from falling, to view down below. My stomach tightens into knots as I see how high up we are. Feeling a little nauseous from looking down, I spin around bumping into Nicoli, who was standing right behind me. Losing my balance slightly I fall back, throwing my hands behind me in a frantic attempt to catch myself against the wall. Quickly throwing an arm around my waist Nicoli pulls me back into him.
“Fuck Lil, you need to watch what your doing.” With my stomach still in my throat for the sudden fear of falling, I am pissed off by his sudden harshness.
“If you hadn’t been standing right behind me I would have been fine!” With his arm still wrapped around my body he pushes us back into the wall. I can feel the rough texture of the cement scratching against my skin where my shirt has slipped up slightly under the pull of his arm. The wall reaches just under my hips as he pushes me farther back towards the edge.
What the hell is he doing! My mind screams frantically as I am pushed back further, his arm now the only thing bracing my upper half as it hangs over the edge. Swinging my arms back around I grab at his shirt, gripping it as tightly as I can. A frightening look settles in his eyes, like he seems to enjoy a little bit of my panic.
“You should learn to be more aware of your surroundings. I have enemies Liliana, there are people who would not hesitate to hurt you in an attempt to hurt me. They will not care if you are aware of where they are. All it would take is one slight misstep, one slight push.” He stops talking, making his point as he tilts me back lower. Now fully leaning off the edge, my feet no longer on the ground, I hold tight to his shirt.
“Nicoli?” My voice comes out panicked as I try to force my voice into a soothing tone. “I’m sorry I will be more careful. Now please let me back up.” Panic choking my voice as I finish talking, not sure what has overcome him. At hearing the strain in my voice his eyes shift. Like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, they lighten from their darkened state. Shaking his head as if clearing away a fog he jerks me back up and onto the balcony. When my feet are firmly planted on the ground he releases me taking a step away from me. Without saying anything more, he spins around and walks back into the apartment. Leaving me shaken and confused. What the hell just happened? I reach around to rub my hand across the scrapes on my lower back, understanding that not all rumors are just rumors.
14
NICOLI
Storming into the house I need to get away from Liliana. Furious at her for being impetulant and naive in our world where men are evil and corrupt. Something my father had shown me over and over through my childhood. That is why I allowed my demons to show through, let her see a side that I fight so hard to keep at bay when near her. Giving her a glimpse at the demons inside me that feed on others' fear, that revels in it, and gains strength. Saying it was all for show would be a lie. Seeing the fear and terror in her eyes had pleased my demons, brought out the inner predator that I was raised to be. Shaped by my father into the uncaring man that he wanted me to be.
Sensing someone's fear now comes as a second nature to me. I have become so attuned to it I can practically smell it, thick and pungent as it seeps from their pores.
Though the darker part of my soul enjoyed watching as fear arose, I didn’t enjoy seeing it in her eyes, or being the one to put it there. It reminded me of my mother when my father would punish her. I remember that same look of fear that would fill my mother's eyes so often. Shaking my head I try to clear the memories as I justify my actions.
She needed to be shown, she needs to understand that even those close to her can hurt her. A reminder that I am not a good man. That I barely have control over the darkness that threatens to pull me under. Though I know I would never intentionally harm her, she needs to see how easily someone can. That I am cut from the same cloth as my father who had no mercy with anyone
