She had a feeling that if she actually saw Jade, she would end up being persuaded to let her in.
‘Maddie! Come on, I’m worried!’
‘I’m fine, Jade,’ Maddie called back. ‘I’m just trying to sleep it off.’
‘Let me in – I’ll keep an eye on you.’
‘I think I’d rather be on my own for a bit. I’m just going to sleep for the rest of today.’ Maddie felt treacherous as she said it. She could already feel her resolve weakening the longer she talked.
‘I don’t mind, I just… I don’t want to be upstairs on my own. Ben isn’t there and it’s a bit lonely.’ Her voice was thin and needling.
Maddie scrunched up her face and took a step forward, then paused again.
No, Maddie. You can say no.
She clenched her hands into fists, her fingernails digging into her palms, before she spoke again. ‘I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m really not up to company. I need to go back to bed. I’ll call you when I’m back on my feet and see how you are, ok? Maybe we can go out for a bit – go for a walk or something. It might make us both feel better. Or I could come over and hang out with you and Ben tomorrow.’
She waited, her breath held, to see if Jade would carry on. For a few seconds there was nothing, then Jade said, ‘Fine, whatever,’ and the letterbox slammed shut.
Maddie exhaled, then headed back to bed. She pulled the covers up, but her nerves were jangling. She kept running the conversation over in her head, feeling more and more guilty about airing Jade.
It was done now though.
*
It was the smell that woke her this time.
At first she couldn’t place it. She just had a sense that something was wrong, wafting over her in gentle waves and lapping at her throat. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, confused. Then, as she became more conscious, she realised why it was so familiar and yet so out of place.
Gas.
She looked at the clock. 10.10 p.m. She’d been asleep for almost twelve hours. Her head felt fuzzy, her tongue thick. She shrugged into her gown and went into the kitchen for a glass of water.
The smell wasn’t obvious in the kitchen. She sniffed at the air near the oven to be sure and checked all of the gas rings in case she’d left one on by accident, but the smell had gone. Maybe it had been left over from a dream she was having.
She carried her glass of water back into the bedroom. The smell returned, stronger than before. Sniffing like a bloodhound, her nose led her to the air vent high up in the corner of the room. It was coming from there.
Maddie’s breath caught. That vent led to Jade’s flat above. Was the gas coming from there?
Was she just cooking something? Or was there a problem? A malfunction? What if she hadn’t noticed and she was lying unconscious? If Ben was away with his dad, she would be alone and no one would find her until it was too late.
Maddie remembered how tiny Jade’s voice was last night, how lonely she said she was. How irrational she had been acting. Maybe not being found was what she wanted.
Oh God, had she done something stupid?
Even worse, what if Ben was there and he couldn’t wake Jade? He’d be frightened, confused.
The thought propelled Maddie into action. She slid her feet into her slippers, unchained the front door and took the stairs two at a time to the next floor, not caring that her dressing gown was flapping open.
‘Jade! Jade! Open up!’ She banged hard on the door, her hands in fists.
Luke stuck his head out of his flat. ‘Everything ok?’
‘She’s not answering! I can smell gas! Do you have a key?’
‘Er, no! Why would I? Should I call 999? I could try breaking the door in.’ Maddie considered his thin frame and figured she’d have better luck than him.
Maddie banged harder on the door. ‘Jade! Are you ok?’
She heard rustling and movement, then the door opened, but with the chain still engaged. Jade peered through the crack.
‘What’s going on?’ she said.
‘I can smell gas. It’s coming through the vent in my bedroom. Are you ok?’ Maddie’s voice was high-pitched with stress.
‘What are you on about?’ Jade looked confused and Maddie realised she may have misread the situation, talked herself into a frenzy.
‘Can you not smell it? Gas? Open the door, let me check.’
‘No offence, Maddie, but it’s not a good time right now.’ Jade went to close the door on her.
She heard Luke exhale behind her and mutter, ‘She seems fine, as ungrateful as ever,’ before he headed back inside.
‘Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I know you were feeling low and I should’ve been there for you. I was still feeling weak and exhausted, but that’s no excuse. I should’ve let you in. But please! Don’t do anything silly. We can find a solution. We’ll work this out. Together.’
Jade’s face seemed to fold in on itself. ‘Do you mean that?’
‘Of course I do! There is nothing so big that we can’t fix it. I’m on your side. I want to see you and Ben happy, living your best lives. Come on, open up. Let’s talk.’
Jade sighed heavily and closed the door. Maddie heard the chain being withdrawn and it opened again.
*
They sat on the couch, each wearing dressing gowns and slippers, and sipping at mugs of tea like two grannies in a care home.
The smell of gas had gone now. Maddie had found one of the burners on Jade’s oven had been left on. Jade claimed not to have noticed, but the smell was unmistakeable once she was inside Jade’s flat.
When Maddie questioned Jade, she denied everything, put it down to not concentrating when she had heated up some
